Legion of Fire: Killer Ants!

Since it was nothing else on, and it stared Mitch Pileggi. I decided to watch this movie.

What a bummer! This movie had more cheesy dialogue and crap effects then some of the early B-Monster movies from the 50's. This turkey was made in1998!

If it was meant deliberately to be a parody I could accept these facts, but it was not! Why the hell did Mitch Pileggi take this role? He's a good actor and should be doing better things then this.

I'm usually fond of accidentally funny horror/monster movies, but this movie just annoyed me.

A large number of killer fire ants have awaken and start to consume people and animals in a remote area of Alaska. So it's up to a small group of people to figure out how they can stop these dangerous predators before they reach a major town.

Yep, that pretty much sums up this dour TV feature. It's bad. Again, did I tell you that it was bad!? I recorded this thinking that it might be cheesy fun, but really, there's no fun to be had. Gee, I should have gone fishing instead. True, it's a nature vs. man story, which that genre flooded the 50's, but for recent times this one is utterly boring and hardly enjoyable. Even a bad film made back then on this topic, at least it was unintentionally humorous, though sadly it isn't the case with this one. The opening sequence proves it! Most of the time I was thinking how did that happen or you got to be kidding me. This is because there is SO many things that lacked consistency and how many coincidences can you get, plenty! These one- dimensional characters are plain senseless and seem to forget too often that there are killer ants around, after battling them just a second ago and they don't seem to know ants can climb! What are terrifying are the ants themselves, the CGI effects are awfully staged and rather shoddy. That really goes for the lame explosions and patchy flamethrower too. But these ants can supposedly strip the skin off a human body within 30 minutes, although with out an ounce of blood. There's really only one drop! Just how big are they supposed to be because the rubber ones used to stick on someone when they are being attack is about twice the size of the CGI designs! They even take the lazy option of by providing a lot of deja vu moments involving scenes of the ants being used over and over again.

The plot goes for some intellectual speeches that bore you to death with its scientific mumbo jumbo. No way is this predictable hokum entertaining with its galore of clichés and mind numbing dialogue. A lot of the things you hear just make you cringe in disbelief. Please stop the bad pun! The corny acting was rather standard for this type of production, but there are some recognisable faces. Like Eric Lutes and Mitch Pileggi from X-files fame. Julia Campbell was lovely too. Just expect the usual enthusiastic performances. The acting might have been better than expected but also the cinematography was rather breathtaking in bringing the Alaska's wilderness on the screen. The backdrop was elegant. Too bad the direction and pacing was shamelessly lethargic and handled in a flat manner and plenty of the sequences show it. The telegraphed score is terribly worked in, but not as bad as the use of the stunt doubles (, the white water raft sequence where they decide suddenly to wear hats for the occasion). But like everything does in these shamble TV features, all the things work out in the nick of time… yeah right!

"Marabunta" is nothing but sour grapes. At least a hinted sequel won't see daylight, well I hope so.

"…flush them back to South America…" You tell 'em!

A small town in Alaska is being threatened by a legion of killer ants, which by some particular reason go crazy every twelve year and just wants to kill everything and everyone in their path. The town is soon evacuated, but some slack people persist with staying put to battle it out with the ants.

This has got to be one of the stupidest film I have ever seen. Sure, it was made directly for TV, but that does not mean it can be as bad as "Legion of Fire: Killer Ants".

The characters we are supposed to care about are: a lame guy from LA, an irritating teacher, a tired sheriff and finally his son, who screams in horror almost the entire film. Perhaps he had realized what he had got himself into when he signed up for this movie. And the otherwise gifted actor Mitch Pileggi, who stars as the sheriff, really should try to find better projects to work on when he is not shooting X-files episodes.

The ants are just as unconvincing as the characters, if not even more. When the movie is over, you will be very tired of close-ups of poor computer made ants that climb over sticks and rocks.

The movie also contains a lot of incredibly stupid action scenes. For example: when the two heroes are trapped between two flocks of ants out in the wilderness, they don´t realize that all they have to do is take one step out in water next to them, and they would be safe. Perhaps they were too scared to remember that ants can´t swim. And one time the kid is trapped inside a school bus, and there are hundreds of ants on it. But when the heroes arrive a few seconds later, all the ants are gone. Why? Many scenes are unconsciously funny, like when the heroes escape from the ants on a motorcycle and she screams, "Hurry! Faster!", when they easily could have walked away from the little troublemakers. And when all the mess is finally over, you have not seen a single ant been trampled to death, which probably would have been the easiest way to finish the little creatures off. Just jump on them, for Christ´s sake!

I could go on and on, but I think I will stop here. "Legions of Fire: Killer Ants" is a horror movie you will be laughing out loud to, which indeed also can be nice sometimes.

* out of * * * * *

If you read or have read many of my other reviews you will find I love bad films. A few days ago I was looking for a tape to record on. I pop a tape in and what do I find? A tape of Legion of Fire: Killer Ants! A lucky(?) find!

I just finished watching it. Man is it bad. The entomologist is an idiot. Anyone who knows insects should know that ants cannot swim. They need a twig/log/ground or some sort of bridge to cross a body of water. Our "hero" seems to forget this when they are on the bank of a river being attacked by ants. Hello? I'm overweight and even I could outrun these poor CGI ants.

Another problem I found was with the kid. Not him personally. Poor "Chad" has his name screwed up several times. He is called Scott, Jake, and maybe one or two other names in this film in addition to Chad. I found myself laughing my butt of at each of these goofs. Once it happens twice in one scene each time was a different name.

You do not want to see this. The acting is bad all around. The effects are incredibly bad.

0/10!!

This is one of the worst movies ever, and that's why you must see it. It is more unintentionally funny than most actual comedies, and it provides as much entertainment value by accident as many movies do on purpose. This film is funny and stupid! There's something for everyone here. I love this movie, which is hilarious! Sounds corny? No matter what anyone says, this is fantastic. I refuse to dismiss this, because I find it quite engaging, in a guilty pleasure sense. I thought this was cute and not bad. It's not the thing to see if you're in the mood for something uplifting, or something with tons of action. Final rating: 7/10.