Bulletproof

Move over, Rambo, there's a new one-man-army in town... and he knows how to play the sax. That makes him a real deadly enemy!

Gary Busey, one of my favorite B-squad actors, is Frank "Bulletproof" McBain, an ex-CIA agent who can't be harmed by bullets and likes to give his foes weird names like "Butthorn" (I guess that's a softer version of the word a##-hole!). He uses big guns, plays the saxaphone, and really whups the crap out of his enemies. Oh, and he gets the chicks, too. I know, this film sounds really derivative and ridiculous at first, but if you have the right patience, you could wind up enjoying this film. Busey is a great actor because he's the kind that can portray any character. For example, in "Lethal Weapon", he's a sleazy villain, and in "Bulletproof", he's an all-out, gung ho hero. His ability to play any man is what really impresses me the most. If you want to see Busey as a dirtbag or a psycho, watch "Lethal Weapon" or "Under Siege", or if you like to see him as a womanizing or wisecracking good guy, either "Bulletproof", or "Point Break" are your choices.

Gary Busey in 1987 was probably the nearest he would become to being a major Hollywood star. He had starred in the hugely successful Lethal Weapon and starred in his own action vehicle Bulletproof. Co-starring 80's villain Henry Silva and William Smith (Any Which Way You Can), Bulletproof is something of a misfire. For a start, the script is nonsensical and all over the place. Busey starts off as a cop but is really ex-CIA and is blackmailed into returning for a mission where he must go in alone...this makes little sense. Silva and Smith give fairly dull performances here and the pacing of the film although 90 minutes is very slow. Action scenes are passable but the tank itself is laughably bad considering it is meant to be Hi-Tech. The sole saving grace of the whole film is Busey himself. He is at his charismatic best, delivering one liners with ease, and stealing every scene he is in. It really is unfortunate Busey chose something as weak as Bulletproof to propel his career as the film does him little favours. Ultimately Bulletproof is an 80's curio, and although a passable time waster squanders Busey's potential. For a much better Gary Busey led film check out Plato's Run.

Oh Lord, did I enjoy myself watching this film! Gary Busey plays a guy who apparently cannot be harmed by bullets, or by much of anything, although he's just some guy with no immortal powers. He falls off haylofts, gets chained to giant wheels and rolls down hills, runs a very comfy looking army tank, and plays the tenor saxophone. Too much goes on to list, but the world's greatest and most enigmatic insult, "butt-horn", is coined, making this easily the most important film of the century. I insist that you purchase it.

I had such high hopes for this movie when I discovered it. Not only does it star my favorite actor of all time (Henry Silva), but it serves as the vehicle for Gary Busey's ill-fated and misguided debut as an action star! Unfortunately, I was pretty let down by the time the end credits rolled. The only redeeming aspect of this dated movie is the first half-hour, which is a pathetic attempt to mimic Lethal Weapon-styled buddy cop movies. Like many other action flicks starring big ego second-tier stars (Steven Seagal being our number one offender here), they really try to build up the main character as a devil-may-care indestructible ex-CIA supercop who all the bad guys know about. Notice during the ice cream truck chase when the villains have this exchange after they pound Busey's car with bullets:

Villain 1: I think we blew him off! Villain 2: You don't blow up a dude like McBain!

The story is pretty lame once it gets going. McBain is hired by the army to retrieve a tank named "Thunderblast" (!) that seems to be some armored afterbirth of the Reagan-era military buildup. Henry Silva's role is pretty wasted as a Libyan colonel who is working alongside the Commies. Aside from the hilariously bad first half hour and the introduction of the word "butthorn" into popular lexicon, Bulletproof is pretty much a waste of time.

There's a fair amount of silly, ridiculous stuff in this movie, but unfortunately it's a lot slower than I remember. Gary Busey is basically the only thing noteworthy outside of a cameo by a very early Danny Trejo.

Highlights include Busey's character, McBain, fantasizing about a lost love and serenading her with diegetic porn sax on the beach, the repeated use of "butt horn" as an insult, and a particularly dumb escape sequence involving Busey tied to a wheel.

But there are long stretches of nothing between those moments. Every now and then you get a little something, like the guerilla commando with a scoped uzi (why???), but this is the sort of movie anyone could have made in their sleep for how much it's just extremely standard action stereotypes.

I have a feeling they ran out of money, too. A shootout signalling the start of the final act has decent pyrotechnics, but everything after that is so neutered you'd swear they cut down the violence for a PG rating. Except the version I saw also had a fair bit of nudity in the opening, and the movie still landed as an R. So I guess they just ran out of budget for squibs and explosives. Makes a lot of the last few encounters feel weirdly toothless when they cut away from what other movies would revel in.

But hey, it's not all bad. Though I hadn't seen it in a while, this is my third time watching it, and it's because it does have memorably stupid shenanigans in it. I just wish it had more.