99 and 44/100% Dead!

The title refers to the now very old Ivory Soap claim of 99 and 64/100% Pure - and there is another "old" meaning for 'pure' that would be known to Frankenheimer and Dillon. It's another word for the material tanners would use in browning leather - dog turds. This should have been a clue to the humor to follow.

This is an interesting and odd film.

The critics hate this movie (Maltin included) because they can't place it in a category. It is not a serious mob film (Godfather) nor is it a comedy (Johnny Dangerously) nor is it bumbling mob dark comedy (a la the recent Bruce Willis - Matthew Perry vehicle). Rather this is a cartoon. Note the introductory cartoon credits. The opening underwater scenes (two) and closing scene (envelope construction) are absolutely unique to American filmcraft and you don't know whether to laugh or be horrified. The lead character is an Englishman, brought over by an American mob boss and who must take off his glasses to shoot and carries automatic pistols with flowers carved in the ivory grips. Is this over the top or what? The enemy hitman has a hook (due to an amputation at our hero's hands) which he replaces with a wine bottle opener, artifical flowers, pruning shears, etc. Our hero also has a much younger, beautiful girlfriend (daytime teacher - nighttime club dancer wearing a feather top) who waits for his return hoping that this time he will make her his own (see 1000 other movies with that same device). Our hero tutors the younger mob wiseguy and both their girlfriends are kidnapped and abused by Mr. Big. Okay, so some of the movie is cliche and some is esoteric. The ambush at the bridge sequence is as visually stunning as any serious mob film. The shootout at the laundry scene is as good as the same scene in The Fugitive or the ending to Terminator. The sequence where Harry is pinned down by a sniper and his boss resces him by pulling up in an armored Rolls-Royce is great as the actors have their conversation while rounds skip off the roof. This is then followed by driving down a would be bomber who carries a bundle of dynamite like Wyle E. Coyote. Being filmed in Seattle, Florida and Los Angeles you never know whether you are supposed to be in New York or Chicago or where. Look for a Confederate Battle Flag during the parade scene where Harry re-enters the crowd. Look for Burt Young (Paulie from Rocky) as an uncredited mobster escorting Harry to see Bradford Dillman. You will be watching a one-of-a-kind movie, maybe not great or even good, but a movie unlike any other. Enjoy it for what it is.

99 and 44/100ths Percent Dead is the story of a mob war between two rival bosses, Edmond O'Brien and Bradford Dillman and the two hit men working for them, Richard Harris and Chuck Connors. The film is enjoyable but it can't seem to make up its mind whether it's a spoof of the genre or a straight out action film.

Richard Harris is hired by O'Brien to help him in his war with Dillman over the Los Angeles territory. O'Brien needs Harris bad especially since Dillman has Connors on retainer. Harris and Connors have some history with Harris leaving Chuck with a permanent reminder.

Which is in the form of a handy/dandy claw which has various attachments for whatever need you have at the moment. When I saw this in the theater back in the Seventies it was that claw I remembered. Connors who first started in films playing villains like Buck Hannessy in The Big Country went to television and became a hero in The Rifleman and Branded. Personally I always thought Connors was better as a bad guy.

Bradford Dillman though I had forgotten, his was an incredibly hammy performance as the rival gang boss. It would have been appropriate and would have succeeded if the satire that might have been intended had come off.

The film while not memorable in his career did furnish Richard Harris with a wife. Tall and leggy Ann Turkel made her second film and was billed as being 'introduced' here. The old adage about having no attachments is certainly true as the bad guys can get to Harris through Turkel and nearly succeed.

Sadly this was the farewell film for Edmond O'Brien who was another victim of Alzheimer's Disease and spent the last ten years of his life losing his career and memories thereof to that terrible curse. He could have probably done something better, but at least it was no Cuban Rebel Girl that terrible film Errol Flynn capped his career with.

99 and 44/100ths Percent Dead is still enjoyable, but could have been done a lot better by director John Frankenheimer.

It's certainly different, but it's not very good. Richard Harris plays a hit-man hired by a mob boss to knock off a rival. Director John Frankenheimer starts things off with a bang with Roy Lichtenstein inspired titles and a pretty fun shoot out/car chase. The film itself is so slow that quirky touches like a giant balloon sculpture, a lesson on cement shoes and an incorporated brothel offer a lot of relief. Harris looks otherwise engaged and Ann Turkel, though gorgeous, isn't much of an actress...and she's certainly too classy to be convincing as a school teacher/dancer named Buffy! A very old and tired looking Edmond O'Brien plays "Uncle" Frankie, the mob boss --- he looks like a puffy Humphrey Bogart and sounds like a near dead Jason Robards. Connors " plays "Claw" and clearly has a lot of fun with his prosthetic. Bradford Dillman is awful as O'Brien's rival...he affects some sort of Brooklyn accent even though no one else does AND the film is set in L.A. Henry Mancini's jazzy score is great, but becomes increasingly intrusive as the film progresses.

Flaws aside, the film is surely a high-water mark in the spotty career of Richard Harris...he went on to star in ORCA, THE CASSANDRA CROSSING, etc.

44 things (out of 100) about this movie:

Ann Turkel is gorgeous. Bradford Dillman gives a supremely bad performance. Chuck Connors' scenes are the best scenes in the movie. Edmond O'Brien, one of my favorites, is decent in this forgettable film. The underwater opening is a lot of fun. Richard Harris is half cool, half wooden. Married To The Mob is better than this. Smokin Aces is better than this. Lucky Number Slevin is better than this. Frankenheimer isn't necessarily meant to do comedy. Richard Harris likes to take his glasses off in dramatic fashion, make sure they click-clack noisily as he fiddles with them, and then manfully put them back on his face. The blocks of cement seem too light. I'll say Ann Turkel is gorgeous twice, because it'll help me get to 44 Things faster. True Romance is a hundred times better than this. Snatch is much better than this (and I still must see Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels). I think you get what kind of (better) films this movie compares to. They probably should have come up with a different title for this thing. If you like accumulating Super-Guilty Pleasures you can't do much better than this. Hard to believe he's the same director of Seconds and The Manchurian Candidate. Richard Harris did his fair share of odd, somewhat unpalatable movies. The dialogue should have been more humorous. It's like they saw Live And Let Die and decided a gangster movie needs alligators and a guy with a hook for a hand even more than a spy movie does. I've seen much worse than this, but still, is this anybody's favorite movie??

The plot, gangster turf war, is pretty much irrelevant. Ronin improves on the car chases and the night-time bridge shoot-out stuff. Ronin is a better movie. Back to those phony-sounding bullet ricochets we had to endure in movies for years. Richard Harris also likes loading and unloading his guns, but then all these action guys like playing with their weapons. Thank goodness Tarantino found a way to attach a great script and story to this kind of vibe. Henry Mancini's music works fine. Early version of dude walking away from building as it blows up, and having absolutely no reaction at all (apparently the epitome of Cool). The 1970s are a hotbed of totally watchable bad movies. The secret to enjoying this is not to expect a masterpiece, but just sit back and don't think. I thought there'd be more blood. I think this one may be better than Johnny Dangerously. The young ladies in this movie are all quite pretty. Ann Turkel looks a bit like Raquel Welch, just in case that's a look you appreciate. Some of the fight scenes are less than convincing.

44/100% Dead should really be written as 22/50% Dead--or no, I guess not, that's stupid. Now I kind of want to check out Humanoids From The Deep. But I don't want to check out Island Of Dr Moreau (Frankenheimer version).

The next oddball gangster flick I plan to finally check out is Bound, which will probably be better than this. Ann Turkel drives a mean school bus. Dick Tracy is better than this, though we do get some cartoony colors here too, now and then.

Chuck Connors finds the right vibe for this film, and if the rest of the movie had taken a lesson from him, this could have been a lot more satisfying.

That was 44, unless I've miscounted.