A Karate Christmas Miracle

So I found this mess on Tubi, and I like watching terrible movies from time to time to sharpen my ability to judge better films. My thought process, if you know what the least talented people put on video, then you will have a much better appreciation for what the true professionals can do.

There is utterly nothing professional about this visual abomination.

I usually don't roast the people making the films because they actually have the guts to put something out, but Kenneth Del Vecchio is clearly devoid of talent, capability and sensibility. Gonna take a shot in the dark and say his problematic political leanings plays a role in the farcical nonsense that is his filmography.

Where can we begin? It's like this movie was put together from multiple projects that absolutely fell apart. Not wanting to waste money, he put this nonsense together and passed it off as a movie. I mean, the narrative continuity of Bob Genesis (whew, what a name) is ridiculous. What makes this even more unsettling is Del Vecchio went all "Will Smith" on us and tried to make this movie as some kind of vehicle for his kid. The results are pretty awful as expected. And what the heck is up with this storyline about psychics?

This is just a mess. Make sure your furniture is bolted down because you might knock it over. Plus I'm no martial arts expert, but it looks like the kid is learning jiu jitsu, not karate. Just saying.

If the budget for this was any more than the cost of SD cards for the (terrible quality) camcorders this was shot on, they wasted every penny of it. What a steaming turd.

Horrendous acting. Looks like it was filmed by a 10 year old on an iphone 5. Storyline makes absolutely no sense, and there is so much random stuff going on all at once. Special effects are horrible. Dumb ending. Audio is weird at some points. Very stupid. If you wanna watch a horrible christmas movie, you've found one.

I loved it. The majority of all movies are bad. This is truly the bottom of the barrel.

It looks like a low budget Christian film that has been reedited with weird effects for a YouTube video. I honestly cannot believe the effects were supposed to look good. I would wager that the editors knew exactly what they were doing... Maybe.

Every aspect of this movie is garbage. From the opening hobby drone shot that was considerably shaky and grainy from low light, to random cuts to very similar shots, to characters that make you want to punch a wall. (In lieu of their face.)

Bad movies are fun to laugh at, this movie is hilarious.

My new favorite Christmas movie, and a soon to be tradition of watching every year.

Mostly a boring Hallmark-tier movie but what keeps it somewhat entertaining are the weird Lynchian scenes that involve how the main character's dad disappeared a year ago after a mass shooting in a movie theater committed by a guy in a clown outfit. These appear in psychic visions that portray the mastermind monologuing about how no one truly understands his grand vision, played by Eric Roberts of all people. These surreal moments come out of nowhere and are barely explained, so they're at least good for waking you up from how much of a snoozefest the rest of this film is. Every one in this can't act to save their lives , especially the main kid who might just have to worst "trying to fake a nightmare" acting I've ever seen.

If you're looking to be entertained by a "so bad it's good" movie this Christmas, you'll end up sadly disappointed in A Karate Christmas Miracle as anything that might remotely be entertaining about this premise is wasted on going through tropes that were already played out on Lifetime 10 years ago. Avoid unless you like torturing yourself.