Star Wars - Underworld - A XXX Parody

Though his career is on the rise, the busy British director Dick Bush comes a cropper with this haphazard, low-effort entry in the execrable parade of porn ripoffs of mainstream material. The only offbeat aspect of this exercise is that it is riffing on a "Star Wars" spin off yet to be produced, the oft-announced TV series set early in the 9-film cycle of features.

It concerns a pair of bounty hunters on the planet Coruscant, set in the Underworld that is mentioned in Lucas's work and is prominent among fans. They're played by Luke Hardy and Digital Playground contract star Aria Alexander, who has red skin, long & thick tentacles from the back of her head like an absurd hair-do (see: Maleficent) and a half white- face. Bush's film emphasizes ad nauseum an old gimmick in both soft and even G-rated porn dating back to the original "Star Trek" TV series and more recently Cameron's "Avatar" (see "Zazel" for hardcore example), namely the novelty of making love to a beautiful female who has pastel- colored skin.

So the central character, a kidnapped daughter of a powerful Senator played by another DP contract girl Eva Lovia, has blue skin, and nearly all the other leading femmes are likewise colorfully pigmented. Exception is a Bush favorite Ella Hughes, who has a natural peaches & cream complexion befitting her trademark natural red hair, and who has sex but not intercourse (don't ask why, just watch).

Like another sub-par Bush parody "London Knights" also produced in England for Digital Playground, the scenes are shot on cheap sets, often in utilitarian corridors perhaps of a parking garage or such, harking all the way back to the auteur's cheapo beginnings with his "Girls with Guns" pair of semi-amateur features. This new feature has plenty of violence, poorly staged, but is so sex-intensive as to bely its "story- line" categorization. If I were a virtual rack jobber in these days of streaming & downloading I would file it under "All-Sex".

So even a cantina scene is absent any of the quirky humor or imaginative aliens that clearly helped Lucas's very minor (going in) original Star Wars project to become such a great success. It's all about humping, and mechanical sex at that, with lots of sloppiness not befitting a director on the rise. Best example is the alluring Alessa Savage as a fellow bounty hunter of dubious allegiances, who starts off with red skin matching that of Aria, but at the end of the film reappears with bright pink skin, almost as pink as the movie's token anal-sex girl, Mischa Cross. DP used to list in its end credits a Quality Control person (hardly worth a screen credit), but obviously has dispensed with such as Mischa is spelled "Micsha" in the final credits roll, as if pronounced to rhyme with rickshaw. Even the ripoff exposition crawl on screen at the beginning with Star Wars logo stolen is childishly crude, reading ungrammatically "A long time ago in galaxy far, far away...", managing to leave out the word "a".

Other than a few seconds opening of space background matte and ultra- crummy model shot of buildings on the planet, feature lacks special effects. Also, since explicit sex is taking place for over two and a half hours, the body makeup problem of keeping those pastels looking fresh (I guess hardcore porn's correlative to non-smear lipstick), results in the gals' groin area becoming a mess as penetration gets hot and heavy.