Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure

I'm sitting here watching it on PVR and I can't really believe the slapdash nature of the whole thing, but there is one comment I really must make: Alice Krige is a phenomenal actress.

She seems so vivid and ephemeral a talent, that, really, the only time she can knock it out of the ballpark is when she has sufficient makeup and costumes to allow her to, in essence, channel herself.

She looks nothing like Joan Collins, but she is a riot, "doing" Joan Collins. And the last time she registered on the pop culture radar was her unsurpassable performance as the Borg Queen in "Star Trek: First Contact." (Backing up my earlier point.)

This is not a very good movie, and even I, twenty years later, can tell you how badly wrong they got the blocking of the first season finale (a fact, about which the knowledge of, I'm not altogether proud) but Krige OWNS this stupid thing.

I was watching this film with great interest. Dynasty was one of my favorite programs growing up in the decadent 1980's. I was anticipating watching this film because I really liked Dynasty. However, the acting was awful. I couldn't remembered most of the story lines myself. I didn't remember that Alexis was suppose to be queen of Moldavia. Alice Kreig did a great job portraying Joan Collins. She got her mannerisms down to a t. The show Dynasty downfall was back in 1988 (towards the end of its run.) The country was going into a different direction at the end of the Dynasty run which is why middle America wasn't too interested in the show anymore. Dynasty was a social commentary of the Reagan years. It was a show of pure escape at the time.

What a wreck of a movie! Camp classic (Valley of the Dolls - so bad it's good, as another comment above aptly points out) it was not. I'm kicking myself all day today for wasting two hours of my life on this thing. Were these actors deliberately trying to sabotage their own careers? My antidote this morning was to waste two more hours (of repeats) on the newest guilty pleasure on TV - The O.C. - which is already starting to veer into "absurdist" territory in its plot lines, the "formula" having simply been tweaked for the present decade. Formula writing is the bane of American TV. This is always where it ends up - a parody of a parody, exhausted and flopping around like a fish on the beach.

With Dallas riding high in the ratings, abc decided to make Forth Worth – a show about a rich family in Texas. Producer Aaron Spelling rejects this project for what it is. Meanwhile husband and wife writing team Esther and Richard Shapiro are trying to their project off the ground; a series about the newly rich and privileged in Regan's America. The two projects get run together and Dynasty is created. Te first season does so-so in the ratings but it is not long before the producers and writers find themselves aiming lower for a bigger audience.

As the title suggests, this is a celebration of the ludicrous television series Dynasty and as such will be of interest to those of us that remember it. This is not to suggest that the film is any good though, because it has tvm writ large across every single scene. A potted history, this film allegedly avoids anything that would see the makers sued (eg the truth) and instead just flows through the making of the series with its various ridiculous twists and turns. The film matches the tone of the series and is all a bit silly and exaggerated. It is all a bit too affectionate though and doesn't have any teeth – seeing the rather insulting methods of winning ratings as daft fun rather than something detrimental to mass media etc. This will probably appeal to fans of the series though and, to be honest, who else will be watching this? The cast are very average. Reed and Singer are both good fun but the majority of the cast are overshadowed by the real people they are portraying. Everyone tries hard but Hardin, Hammond, Krige and John all just mug along with the easy caricatures given to them to work with. Overall then a trashy TVM very loosely based on the broad sweep of a decade of one television show. It entertains in a very basic way but one can't help wonder how it would have been if it tried to do more.

Okay, folks, enough caterwauling about the two hours you won't be able to get back because you watched this movie. Don't tell me you didn't see the PREVIEWS? And even if you didn't, COME ONNNN!!! It's a TV movie about a glam-trash series that celebrated the greedy excesses of the Reagan Years, by snatching the torch from another show that did exactly the same thing...except it did it in Texas. We are not talking Shakespeare or Ibsen here. Hell, we're not even talking Harold ROBBINS, for cripes' sake! Yeah, it wasn't juicy enough, or camp enough, or as tongue-in-cheek as it should've been if it were intended to spoof or lighten the behind-the-scenes antics of the actors who starred in it, the producer who launched it (Aaron Spelling), or the writing team who created it (Richard and Esther Shapiro.) But consider this, too, folks: most of the principal cast members are still very much alive, and some of them even get work from time to time. The permission of each and every one of those folks has to be secured before the REAL story can ever be told, and I'm pretty damn sure that not everyone was happy about THAT idea.

So writer/director Michael Miller worked with what he could. Bravo for him, since bits and pieces of the REAL guilty pleasure this movie could have been still manage to shine through in spite of itself.

As is, Bartholomew John couldn't have looked and sounded less like John Forsythe if he tried, but consider whom he's playing. That would've be about like trying to find a look-and-soundalike for Charlton Heston, (who incidentally did appear in the horrid DYNASTY spin-off, THE COLBYS.) The main thing here was to convey the ESSENCE of the personalities involved, and in that case, the actors pretty much succeeded, but none with more success than Melora Walters as Linda Evans, and the ever-so-underrated Alice Krige, as close to Joan Collins as you'll get without employing the services of 'la diva' herself.

Perhaps the 'definitive' expose of what went on behind the glitz and glamour will someday be commended to film. And maybe that won't happen in any of our lifetimes. Till then, there's this, so either deal with it, or as one reviewer already did, flip over a couple of channels to Fox and watch "The O.C." Or if you want REAL trash, stay tuned for "Who's Your Daddy?"