L'uomo di casa

There are movies that come out of nowhere, completely enrapture us, and have us singing their praises to anybody who will listen. Movies that will stand the test of time and be added to most DVD collections. Other movies (Alone in the Dark) appear in our theaters only briefly, and much like Funyon-induced flatulence, they stink up the joint and then disappear as quickly as they came. Then there are movies like Man of the House. They come, they moderately entertain, but they really don't add anything fresh or new to the industry. They simply manage to keep you smiling for an hour and a half before making their way to the Wal-Mart bargain bin.

The generically cheesy title (Man of the House? Come on!) should immediately warn you that we're not exactly diving into uncharted waters. No towing the line will be allowed here! But that's OK. Sure, the movie is by-the-numbers, predictable, silly, and whatever other clichéd buzz words you want to use for a movie that's not brimming with originality. It's a pretty simple mix really: we've got Jones, some hot cheerleaders to look at, and a few laughs. Fortunately, I like Jones and hot cheerleaders. And you know what? I laughed! I didn't have to see a doctor about my busted gut afterwards, but I was entertained, and sometimes that's enough to satisfy me on a Friday afternoon.

This is a fun, cutesy, fluffy movie that bases most of its jokes on the contrast of Tommy Lee Jones' no-nonsense, non-joking persona with the bubbly personalities of five college cheerleaders who don't appreciate his rules. Of course, this means they will do their best to rebel a bit. For example, they continue to dress scantily despite Jones' insistence that they try to wear a few more articles of clothing. No problem. TLJ just purchases an extremely expensive air conditioner to force them to cover up. It may cost the Texas Rangers a few thousand dollars, but it'll teach those girls a lesson in modesty! In a surprising twist that is bound to shake the very foundations of cinema as we know it, the gals grow to like TLJ despite his leather tough exterior. They really want to help him discover his inner sensitivity because let's face it, when you look like a piece of beef jerky you need all the help you can get. So when TLJ has a big date with one of the cheerleaders' professors (Anne Archer), they swoop in to trim his nose and ear hair, give him a manicure, and tidy him up. All the middle-aged women who love Tommy Lee Jones and his Southern drawl go awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! And the scene where the cheerleaders help teach Jones how to skate is also sure to make those elderly female hearts flutter. I won't spoil it for you and tell you whether he falls or not. I'll give you the joy of finding out for yourself.

Then of course there are the jokes that play to the stereotype of some cheerleaders not being too bright. When Jones announces that he's with the Texas Rangers, one of the cheerleaders excitedly asks, "Do you know Derek Jeter?" Some people will find moments like this to be stupid, while others (such as my mother and sister) will think they're absolutely adorable.

The best advice I can give you is to picture in your mind Tommy Lee Jones living with five cheerleaders. How funny is the image to you? Let that be your guide. If you don't like TLJ, then there's not much here for you because he's responsible for keeping this from being a made-for-TV movie that I probably wouldn't have had any interest in watching.

THE GIST Man of the House isn't exactly a movie to get excited about, but it provides enough laughs to keep its head above water. If you like Tommy Lee Jones (or hot cheerleaders) and you thought the trailer looked halfway decent then this is a serviceable matinée (or a future rental). Otherwise, you probably won't find it worth your time.

Rating: 3 (out of 5)

No, it wasn't Oscar material. It wasn't even comedic genius. But it will make you smile and laugh and you will be entertained.

Tommy Lee Jones turns in his customary performance as a blunt, laconic albeit lovable curmudgeon. The plot is predictable, but then this isn't a Shakespearean tragedy, so how involved is it supposed to be? The girls are cute, little, perky provide enough eye candy to send you into diabetic shock. Of course, I could have done without the Texas Longhorn connection being a USC graduate and all. But that aside, I smiled, and I laughed, and when it was over, I felt good.

So sue me.

Tommy Lee Jones, one of my favorites, is type-cast as a Texas Ranger. Cedric is a minister with a criminal past, and the girls are just short of interchangeable bimbos. Anne Archer is thrown in to be a love interest for Tommy and does very little except smile sexily at the camera (which she does well... I also love Anne Archer). The storyline is very predictable, with few surprises. So why did I vote it 7/10? It's a comedy, the writing does rise here and there out of cliché, and the stars - Jones, in particular - have perfect timing. I watched the entire movie, laughed periodically (many's the recent comedy that gets no laughs), and, as one must, didn't take it too seriously. 99% of the pyrotechnics occur in the first ten minutes, and after that it's up to TLJ and the cast to keep it moving and, somehow, they do. With less interesting stars to work the lines this movie could easily drop to below 5...

Man Of The House is about a Texas Ranger named Roland Sharp (Tommy Lee Jones) who is hunting down potential witnesses and leads to testify against a mob boss. While on the verge of capturing a potential lead, his partner is shot and he loses his witness. Everything is up in the air and no one knows which way to go when, luckily, five cheerleaders witness the execution of the man Sharp was trying to capture, who is named Morgan Ball (Curtis Armstrong - Who would have thought he would still be making movies long after his most successful stint as Booger has long been dead). After the girls decide to do the right thing, and tell the police, they are held in protective custody until they can capture the criminal who would surely be looking for them. They decide that Sharp will look after them personally and live in the same house as long as needed. This is where the comedy really begins.

The movie is meant to be a comedy, and I think Tommy Lee Jones did an excellent job with it, as well as Cedric The Entertainer. The movie opens like a typical action movie and then goes with the comedy all the way until the end, when it reverts back to that one big action sequence to end it all.

Jones and Cedric made the movie as good as it was. The cheerleaders were simply eye candy, which is just fine by me. My favorite being Barb (Kelli Garner). Jones comes off a little too old when he refuses to let the girls run around the house in the usual skimpy teen attire we all see nowadays, but that is just to show his character. You still get to see plenty of the girls, which is probably as much an attraction as Jones and Cedric.

This movie is a little hard to review for some reason but like I said in the title, if you liked the movie Miss Congeniality, then you will most likely enjoy this one, too. They are cut of the same cloth, so to speak. If you did not like Miss Congeniality, then you probably will not like this either. I guess that is the best way to put it. I enjoyed it for what it was. 7.5/10

We aren't exactly talking rocket science here; in fact, in some ways "Man of the House" represents what is wrong with the American movie industry. It seems the movie was cobbled together by a bunch of movie execs. and preview audiences, so the movie feels vaguely familiar. Of course, each of the cheerleaders represents a typical stereotype: the dumb blonde, the too tightly wound pre-med major, the sassy black girl, the fiery Latina, and the "bad" girl. I felt like I was watching a movie script that was written by MadLibs. Hey, we need a laugh, so lets make Tommy Lee Jones buy tampons and watch the hilarity ensue! (Cause nothing says funny like men's reaction to icky feminine products!) The movie also misses the opportunity to properly utilize the talents of Pagent Brewster (so adorable as Chandler's love interest on "Friends"), who has only a few lines as the uber-perky cheerleading coach, Binky, and Ann Archer, who brings a quiet dignity to her underdeveloped role as a professor/object of TLJ's affection.

For those of you cheers fans, you will be woefully disappointed by the lack of actual cheerleading that is shown. Besides one ridiculous dance-off between the girls and Cedric the Entertainer (whose presence in the movie seems to be there purely because it is hilarious to see a large man dance in too small cheerleading uniform), which looks more like drill team practice to me, there is nary a tumbling pass or pyramid to be seen. Sadly, this is no "Bring It On." And, for all -the rah-rah girl power the movie feigns to promote, the girls are portrayed as bubble headed, appearance crazed, weight obsessed exhibitionists.

That being said, the movie wasn't all bad. The laughs were obvious, the characters broad, the plot unbelievable, but there were still the chuckles that come from a fish out of water comedy where you crack a smile in spite of yourself. Tommy Lee Jones does a good job of looking like an exasperated hard-ass, though you can't help but wonder if he's really acting or just cannot believe his agent actually sent him the script. By the way, he is a good example to young kids of why you should always wear sunscreen -- the man has NOT aged well! All in all, not a total waste of time, but I wouldn't suggest building your weekend plans around a viewing!