The Christmas Season Massacre

This is a type of movie you'd have to have fun with. Christmas Season Massacre, can't get anymore cliché than that eh! It leans itself on referential displays of homage. But a blast at that also.

The boys from the Rosa roster are included in this happy go lucky slash fest. Freaking hilarious people, 80's fried stalk n slash.

Tommy "one shoe" was, or is a loser and soon became the apitmy of himself. A blood thirsty maniac. The team of bully's unite to stop his reign of terror once and for all. In the meantime, they are all getting dispensed quite quickly one by one by ole' pirate boy himself. Guts a flyin" and jokes a plenty is what I have to say. Surely a mix of Eric Stanze's (www.wickedpixel.com ) flavor amongst this Wallace special.

Tons of heaping bucket loads of red and sauce. DJ Vivona gets taken out in a nice Toolbox fashion.

Good times, it's dynamite!

I've watched a number of Wixel Pixel and Sub Rosa Extreme movies lately, and have found a lot to like about them.

This SRE movie seemed a lot more slight than all the others I've seen. Perhaps that's because this is a comedy/horror movie rather than straight horror, and perhaps it's also because the humor didn't register with me very well.

It's a little less than seventy minutes long, and the credits begin as the last ten minutes are beginning. There are some outtakes, goofs, and behind the scenes stuff going on while those credits roll.

SRE movies do tend to be short, and tend to feel padded out in spite of that. This is no exception, with some scenes that tend to go on too long.

The story involves a poor kid in Christmastown, California who'd been picked on by all his classmates. He'd had one shoe stolen, and unable to replace it, he was dubbed "Oneshoe McGroo." Due to an obsession with pirates, his parents gave him an eyepatch for Christmas with a Christmas tree emblazoned on the eyepatch.

Many of the classmates are killed, and the few who remain gather together to decide what to do. They're picked off one by one by McGroo, who stalks around to the sound of sleigh bells ringing.

The characters are pretty much all broad stereotypes, like the nerd named Dorkus, etc. There's an odd scene in which a kinky couple has sex; the woman is handcuffed and blindfolded, the man wears a large paper watermelon slice over his head. This reminded me of some of the stranger sex scenes from director Rinse Dream.

The picture quality is good, and there are a lot of extras. But basically a pretty silly movie.

Oh well, I guess you can never have too many Christmas horror movies. Still, there are a lot of other needy holidays.

Man, this rocked. So many classic moments couples with great gore. The first scene with the woman getting gutted is quite nasty and graphic and it just plain rocked. Eric Stanze does his thing cool. The whole movie is great fun, and can't wait to see what Jeremy Wallace does with the UNDERTOW!

Gordo

Let me preface with I love low budget B and even Z movies and I knew going in this would be super low budget and that the acting would probably be bad, but wow...it may actually be THE most boring and absolutely pointless post-apocalyptic dystopian wasteland movie I've ever seen. The only saving grace is that it's short for a feature, but not short enough. It actually probably would have been decent as a short film or maybe part of an anthology with a 20-30min runtime, but even at a mere 71mins I was struggling and kept checking how much time was left.

The whole premise is that the family is running very low on food and with the father missing after going on a supply run, the mother starts plotting I guess what she thinks will be a Christmas mercy killing. Mind you, they still have food, they're very close to running out, but they're not exactly rationing as much as they could be, they aren't starving or sick and both she and her son look healthy (and remarkably clean!). And they probably could actually find some more food if they ventured out more than once. The whole scenario is pretty stupid, at least the way it's depicted here. I could understand if they were literally starving or had radiation sickness or injuries or didn't have a safe place to stay, but none of that applies. So we finally get down to the last 10mins of the movie just to have random gas-mask wearing murder Santa show up and throw in a shock/wtf ending that definitely doesn't make the other 65mins of the movie worth watching. Definitely the most skippable Christmas/Holiday horror flick I've seen in decades.

The Christmas Season Massacre (2001)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Cheaply produced horror film about a loser kid who gets picked on through school until one Christmas when he disappears without a trace. Each Christmas after that one of his classmates comes up murdered so after the latest victim the survivors gather up for some fun (WTF?). THE Christmas SEASON MASSACRE isn't a 100% "Christmas" horror film as it pretty much just takes place in Christmastown, CA and its story mentions the holiday. There's nothing visually that's going to take you back to Santa Claus but this isn't the biggest problem. I actually thought the film started off fairly well as we get a pretty funny story about the dork everyone picked on and then we follow this up with some fairly gory death scenes. Everything pretty much falls apart after this because there's simply not too much story to work with here and quite often we just get scenes that drag on for no reason other than to run up the running time. I think when the horror elements are on the film works the best. As I said, there are some pretty gory death scenes here and while the special effects are cheap at least the filmmakers tried to give fans what they would want. The film even gives us some nudity. As you'd expect, the performances aren't the greatest and there are all sorts of flaws with the film so in the end it's only going to be worth watching to fans of these types of films.