Marabunta - Minaccia alla terra

A small town in Alaska is being threatened by a legion of killer ants, which by some particular reason go crazy every twelve year and just wants to kill everything and everyone in their path. The town is soon evacuated, but some slack people persist with staying put to battle it out with the ants.

This has got to be one of the stupidest film I have ever seen. Sure, it was made directly for TV, but that does not mean it can be as bad as "Legion of Fire: Killer Ants".

The characters we are supposed to care about are: a lame guy from LA, an irritating teacher, a tired sheriff and finally his son, who screams in horror almost the entire film. Perhaps he had realized what he had got himself into when he signed up for this movie. And the otherwise gifted actor Mitch Pileggi, who stars as the sheriff, really should try to find better projects to work on when he is not shooting X-files episodes.

The ants are just as unconvincing as the characters, if not even more. When the movie is over, you will be very tired of close-ups of poor computer made ants that climb over sticks and rocks.

The movie also contains a lot of incredibly stupid action scenes. For example: when the two heroes are trapped between two flocks of ants out in the wilderness, they don´t realize that all they have to do is take one step out in water next to them, and they would be safe. Perhaps they were too scared to remember that ants can´t swim. And one time the kid is trapped inside a school bus, and there are hundreds of ants on it. But when the heroes arrive a few seconds later, all the ants are gone. Why? Many scenes are unconsciously funny, like when the heroes escape from the ants on a motorcycle and she screams, "Hurry! Faster!", when they easily could have walked away from the little troublemakers. And when all the mess is finally over, you have not seen a single ant been trampled to death, which probably would have been the easiest way to finish the little creatures off. Just jump on them, for Christ´s sake!

I could go on and on, but I think I will stop here. "Legions of Fire: Killer Ants" is a horror movie you will be laughing out loud to, which indeed also can be nice sometimes.

* out of * * * * *

Since it was nothing else on, and it stared Mitch Pileggi. I decided to watch this movie.

What a bummer! This movie had more cheesy dialogue and crap effects then some of the early B-Monster movies from the 50's. This turkey was made in1998!

If it was meant deliberately to be a parody I could accept these facts, but it was not! Why the hell did Mitch Pileggi take this role? He's a good actor and should be doing better things then this.

I'm usually fond of accidentally funny horror/monster movies, but this movie just annoyed me.

Well this movie was completely insane. Where to begin? I won't bore you with any details because its not worth me typing any of the names of characters and only there is an "famous entomologist from LA", a teacher, a kid and a cop who we will refer to as xfiles since he played Asst. Dep. Skinner on the show.

Well now, shall we begin with the Oscar worthy script complete with plot holes the size of the CGI ants the feast on the human flesh. Some magical force of nature has cause a popular salmon fishing hot spot in Alaska to have increased subterranean temperature. This causes the salmon to flee and a unusual increase in the number of earthquakes. Ants begin to invade. Killer ants. When asked the question later of where there ants came from: "Have any boats been in dock?/ Yes, actually last week./ Was it from South America?/ Yes, Actually." These ants are rare because they only travel on roads. Cleverly they wait until humans discover them and their giant nest to decide to go on on all out rampage on society.

When someone gets eaten by ants they are replaced by fully clothed skeletons with a wig on. Apparently ants lick the bones clean. It was delicious.

The solution xfiles comes up with is to blow up the pass with dynamite if they cant eradicate them by Saturday (arbitrarily). This is the 20th century, even if they blow up the pass we don't have to wait for a wagon to take an extra 2 months to go over the mountains. And the ants have been crawling around underground, so blowing up the pass, although seething with seemingly cunning genius would ultimately prove to be mentally retarded and the ants would be unaffected.. sort of like challenging millions of ants with a revolver while belaying down a cliff, but i guess he had to open the locked door of the trailer and the revolver ended up being a key part. Why's that trailer there in the middle of a huge valley again?

Wait until you see the flame thrower scene. Here they try to burn a nest of ants with a flame throw that needs to be manually pumped. Listen as the entomologist tells the teacher to "Pump Harder" and her respond "I'm Trying" Then as ants crawl up her pants and on her feet, he turns and unleashes a s fury of flame over her feet, successfully destroying all ants without rendering her pants or shoes slightly burned. They then hop in a canoe. Then randomly hit a stretch of white water and as it turns out amazingly and quite conveniently, that they are both expert white water canoers. Watch for the ideally placed logs.

The ants will later burrow underneath people, pulling them under reminding us of the movie "Tremors". They then go on all assault including what appears to be some sort of explosive device. Fortunetly the entomologist remembers that he studies this for a living and comes up with a plan. Dstrpy the queen.

The plan itself is both idiotic and asinine. See it to believe it but know it includes a dam, 3 bundles of dynamite, 1 shovel, 1 lighter, an earthquake,a helicopter, and ants. The only thing that could have made this movie better would have been the appearance of Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal to fight each other to be the king of the ants and lead them to prosperity in Los Angeles. If either are reading... My people will call your people. I smell sequel.

This is one of the worst movies ever, and that's why you must see it. It is more unintentionally funny than most actual comedies, and it provides as much entertainment value by accident as many movies do on purpose. This film is funny and stupid! There's something for everyone here. I love this movie, which is hilarious! Sounds corny? No matter what anyone says, this is fantastic. I refuse to dismiss this, because I find it quite engaging, in a guilty pleasure sense. I thought this was cute and not bad. It's not the thing to see if you're in the mood for something uplifting, or something with tons of action. Final rating: 7/10.

I taped this one last week, it got three stars (good) in my TV paper so I was expecting a decent film.

I didn't get that.

What I did get is a film that goes so far into being bad, it actually becomes good. There aren't any scares, dramatic moments or good special effects but this film is FILLED with unintentionally funny moments. My favourite part was the stupid cop who after getting over the death of his 10 year old brother (the cop was at least 30+, how does he have a 10 year old bro?!) really quickly, later goes on to hilariously stumble and put a tractor into drive causing a barn to collapse with him trapped inside with the KILLER ANTS!!.

My other favourite part was the hero and the all action local school teacher/marksman escaping from another barn on a small bike so pathetic looking that even Harry & Lloyd would have refused to ride on it.

Ah yes, I also got a kick out of how they manage to make an ant poison potion in the school lab, not only does it kill ants but it's also apparently non toxic as the school teacher sprays it all over a guy's face lol.

Well worth watching!