Settimo cielo

Lots of people talk about how "nice" the family in this show is, and that's certainly its most striking feature. Even those who like the show will probably concede that the family in the show is "nicer" than almost any family you'll find in real life. I suspect that the people producing the show were motivated to create an idealized family as a role model, rather than a "real" family most people would recognize as familiar. Whether you enjoy seeing an "idealized" family or whether you prefer something more realistic is a matter of personal preference. I personally don't feel there is anything necessarily wrong with unrealistic. Is "7th Heaven" any more "unrealistic" than "Friends" or "Seinfeld" or "The Phantom Menace"? Personally, I don't have a problem with "nice" characters, but I do have a problem with "nice" story telling.

In a well written story, be it a TV show, film, novel or play, you have a character faced with a series of seeming insurmountable problems. At some point in the story, the character will generally feel overwhelmed by the amount of stuff they have to deal with. There's an escalation of tension in all good story telling. An element of chaos.

I find that missing from "7th Heaven". Solutions to problems are thought of the moment the problem occurs. The solutions are instantly implemented. Problems never pile on or overwhelm the characters. Everyone is in touch with their feelings, and can articulate whatever they feel. No communication problems exist. Everyone gets along just fine. There's no escalation of tension in a "7th Heaven" episode. In an effort to create a nice tone and positive role models, they have robbed their stories of all tension and conflict. They've made them dull. Nice is OK but dull is not.

I used to be a regular viewer of 7th Heaven, but after a while there were so many convoluted subplots that I just had to give up. The main family itself is huge, but when you add about 15 side characters the relationships become a bit too hard to follow. Also, I really got tired of how every episode became some political preaching about the latest controversy or hot button issue. In one episode, Ruthie writes letters to a U.S. soldier who is stationed in Afghanistan. Then she gets all worried when the guy stops writing back, and the preacher father ends the episode by reciting a sermon about America's heroes. Now, I'm all for being patriotic and all that jazz, but that entire episode seemed to be written in about five minutes and tacked onto the season just so the staff could win an Emmy. I'm willing to bet money that the writers just open up the paper to the Opinion section, close their eyes, point at a random story, and then write a script based on the issue. Going back to how complicated the show has gotten, I'd just like to note that it is very frustrating when the characters have boyfriends and girlfriends so many times in a season that you have no idea what's even happening any more. Seriously, you can skip one episode and someone will be married/divorced/pregnant/in a coma the next week. Talk about drastically changing plot lines! Now I'd like to talk about the most unintentionally hilarious episode, AKA the one that discussed the issue of marijuana. I could not believe how politically charged this one episode was, and my jaw was literally on the floor at how exaggerated the story was presented. Basically, the dad discovers a joint in the laundry (correct me if I'm wrong), and instantly starts eyeballing every one of his children. He becomes so paranoid and mistrusting that it's ridiculous. When he sees that Matt is eating more than two or three cookies, the camera zooms in on his sweaty, worried face. Why, Matt must have (gasp!) THE MUNCHIES! Dun, dun, DUN! Then one of the girls is acting tired. Why, she must be (gasp) HIGH! Dun, dun, DUN!! I mean, come ON! He even suspects Ruthie, who was probably 6-years-old at the time. Talk about overreacting. So anyway, the dad drags his wife into the bedroom and they discuss who might have brought the joint home. "Did you see Matt wolfing down those cookies? That's a sure-fire sign of (gasp!) THE MUNCHIES!" the dad whispers, afraid that his Christian neighbors will hear him. We then learn that the wife smoked some pot in college, and the dad literally freaks out. He comes this close to disowning his wife because she hit a couple of doobies when she was younger. Yes, God forbid someone does drugs when they're in college. I say, anyone who smokes weed is evil. EVIL, ya hear me?! So the dad puts the joint in his dresser drawer for safe keeping, and minutes later one of his daughters finds it while looking for something to wear. GASP! She thinks her parents are smoking the wacky weed! Ah, the wackiness that comes with family sitcoms. The show draws to a close when it is discovered that Matt had the joint, which leads to him running off somewhere. The mom and dad search the town only to find that he is praying in church. That's right, he's praying to God and spilling his guts about how he was just "holding" the joint for a friend. Uh, RIGHT. The credits roll after the mom and dad embrace their tearful son, a lesson learned by all. In short, GAG ME. Other issues discussed by Seventh Heaven include: listening to rap music is BAD, having sex is BAD, etc. Sheesh, whatever happened to just running a regular episode? Does every single show have to bery Very Special? Blech. I say this show be canned before the writers create an episode where Simon learns about the evils of homosexuality via a sinister uncle character. 0/4 stars

If you read through the comments already posted (and there are many), you'll see that most people are very strongly polarized... people either love this show or hate it.

I, for one, am somewhere in the middle of the road about it.

It is heavy-handed. It takes an 'issue of the week', and involves each member of the family in some aspect of that issue... fidelity, drug use, abstinence from sex before marriage... then wraps everything up in a nice neat package before the end of the episode.

The way the issues are dealt with are both shallow and heavy-handed. You never have any doubt in your mind what issue the writers are bringing up this week; you never have any doubt what they thing the "right" thing to do is.

At the same time...

We're looking inside of a family that seems to genuinely care about each other. There's a father who's involved with his children, siblings who look after each other, and a mother who obviously loves her children... and her husband, even after seven children.

Yes, Matt needs a punch in the nose. Mary could stand a valium perscription. Lucy needs a little more maturity. And so on. But...

But I keep watching this show, episode after episode.

And I'm not entirely sure why.

This series has all the qualities that should go into a horrid sitcom. The acting is beneath sub-par--with kids who were clearly picked more for their "look" than their acting abilities. The writing is so syrupy and pedestrian as to make "Martha Stewart's Living" look edgy and sophisticated by comparison. And the production quality looks like that of a 5th-rate syndicated show from 1987.

And, yet there is something oddly mesmerizing about this show. Maybe it's Aaron Spelling's knack for populating a world with such pretty people with such simple, easily solved problems. Maybe it's part of a secret desire to live in such an uncomplicated world where good guys are soapy pure and every house has a picket fence. Or maybe I just like to ogle Jessica Biel.

But what I really think is so appealing about this show is its camp value. Like a really cheesy B-horror film, 7th Heaven is at its best when it's at it worst. The hokier the story-line, the worse the acting; the more you have to laugh at it. It's like a train-wreck that you HAVE to watch--to find out who will introduce the next groan-inducing plot point, who will utter the next over-rehearsed bit of "spontaneous" dialogue, or what guest star has sunk so low this week.

7th Heaven is must-see TV, if for nothing else than watching desperate sup-par directors' constant cutaways to the family dog (to cover bad edits and, presumably, even worse dialogue). And the great thing is, the dog is actually a better actor than most of the kids on the show.

So, check it out. Get some popcorn, and have a good laugh.

I understand the need for shows like 7th Heaven. Shows that can help kids comprehend the very complicated world that we live in. Shows that can teach as well as entertain. Shows that an entire family can watch. And while an entire family could sit down and watch this show; I have no idea why they would want to. This show is so bad on so many levels that it is hard to know where to begin. Almost all the shows problems stem from the ridiculously trite and unrealistic plotlines. Not only are some so ludicrous as to border on the bizarre, but quite a few are downright offensive. The misogynistic overtones aside, who are these people? Why does nothing make sense on this show? Since when does painting situations in black and white ever convince kids to follow the better path? Kids are smarter than that; they know it isn't that simple. And by refusing to show the other side or simply misrepresenting it will not sway any impressionable youth.

Most people don't get engaged/married within a week/month/day of knowing each other. Everyone over the age of 6 knows that smoking is bad but that doesn't mean all smokers are bad. The same with drinking. The same with sex. Its unrealistic to portray all of the kids as virgins with all the heavy making out that gets shown. And further more its detrimental because it gives the impression that that heavy petting doesn't lead to sex with most people. Why is there never an episode that deals with these complicated problems in a realistic manner? Why does an associate pastor drive a BMW, is it really that lucrative of a job? Why do the Camdens have expensive bottled water if they're so poor? Why do the girls on this show so often need the approval of men? Why? Why? Why? This show and countless others like it merely perpetuate unrealistic notions concerning appearance, romance, and income. So really is this what you want your children watching? Something that will make them feel ugly now, lonely and depressed later because its been two days since they've had a date, and broke because for some reason their income doesn't allow them live up to a "poor" family's standards. If you want quality time with your kids, buy them some books and read with them.