Slam Dunk Ernest

Ernest is a janitor with a team that cleans the local mall. The rest of the janitors also play basketball in the city league as `Clean Sweep'. When Ernest saves their jobs by accepting blame for an accident they reluctantly agree to have him on their team. After losing them their next game, Ernest is dejected until an angel gives him magic shoes that make him an amazing player. However this causes friction in the team as the chance to play a NBA team looms.

I watched this Ernest movie because I like basketball and I hoped that the game action would cover me just enough to get through the film. However it didn't. The plot here is bad even by Ernest standards. The usual device of the magic shoes isn't used well – I've seen other basketball movies where a kid is blessed in some way and starts playing in the majors – but here it was all dull and unimaginative. Even things like the way the `love interest' goes from bookish newsagent to vamp in one scene with no explanation or reason – it just happens!

The background story of `effort and work over flashy shoes' is really bungled and doesn't come across well at all. The background characters becoming bitter at Ernest hogging the ball is also only played at the very end and isn't used well at all. The basketball games are very poor. Obiviously when Ernest is soaring through the air in absurd ways it's going to be, but even the actual games before he plays are careless – back passes, no 3 point line (although they still score 3's) things like that just show how shoddy it is. The actual shots of Ernest playing are also poor – they get a smile, but they clearly wanted to cut costs so the same shots of him jumping and dunking are used several times over.

Varney is unlikable. Ernest is meant to be a loveable loser we all root for – like Norman Wisdom used to play. However Varney is just plain annoying – when things happen to him you can't help but think `hope that hurt' and I never care if he comes good in the end or not! The actual team are very ethnic – like they were told to overplay the whole black thing! However some ar so-so. Cozart has to carry the moral message himself and does alright while some other faces are familiar from much better fare (Núñez Jnr), and really Abdul-Jabbar, good movie doing Airplane but what are you doing here – the fact that he is in this film is reason enough for us to pay NBA stars big wages now so that they don't come back and take bad acting jobs after they retire.

Overall this made me smile twice and that's it. I know it's for kids but this is too basic for kids. Varney's clowning isn't enough and the lame attempt to wring a message out of it is weak at best.