Skatetown USA

I never did understand why most audiences didn't go for XANADU. That movie had a huge cult following upon its theatrical release; while being considered a box office dud, it had the sort of presence that granted it an instant cult classic among musicals. I know tons and tons of people who love both the movie and the soundtrack dearly, and I've noticed that they are all the same personality I am--namely, folks who are starry-eyed by nature, have a strong sense of poetic beauty and grew up with before-Eisner Walt Disney movies.

Story has it that SKATETOWN, U.S.A. was deliberately pushed back a couple of years or so the moment word got out that XANADU was in the works, for apparently the makers of this flick didn't want to chance XANADU's destroying it. They needn't have worried. This thing didn't have a chance to begin with. SKATETOWN is far, far, FAR inferior to the wonderful and delightful XANADU. It doesn't begin to even hold a candle to XANADU, which lives up to its title.

And yet, SKATETOWN, U.S.A. is campy fun in its own way, a time capsule from the disco era that brings back memories despite obvious flaws in direction, choppy editing that insists on slashing the footage of some genuinely spectacular skating stunts before you can fully enjoy them, and a story that is nonexistant at best.

The music makes this movie, hands down. It has a wonderful theme song and original songs as well as a whole slew of disco staples that are now truly timeless classics. And of course all the skating is a blast. And gotta love that goofball D.J. with his sparkle afro!

There's one thing that seriously ruins my enjoyment of this film though. An annoying overweight worker at the snack bar who has a thing for hot dogs. This guy is just... seriously, he's disgusting! He's so gross and lacking in personal hygiene and basic cleanliness that... well, would *YOU* buy food from this guy? I swear, I lose all appetite (especially for hot dogs) upon seeing this guy in action. I'll be sitting there enjoying a wonderful skate dance set to gorgeous music, only to have the camera suddenly cut away to this jerk's gross antics. Edit him OUT entirely and this film would be much, much better and more carefree.

Oh, and you haven't lived until you hear this flick's answer to the question "You saved my life... Why?"

Skatetown, U. S. A. Is a nostalgic trip to the glittering world of 1970s roller discos, where style overshadows substance. The film follows a dreamer drawn into Skatetown's vibrant skate scene, including a gang led by the charismatic Ace (a young Patrick Swayze). While Swayze and the era's disco-inspired visuals add charm, the plot is predictable, characters are underdeveloped, and dialogue feels cheesy. Early appearances by future stars like Scott Baio provide intrigue, but the film lacks depth. Best enjoyed as a campy, retro time capsule, it earns 4/10 for its kitschy appeal and historical value.

I found this movie on DVD at missed movies dot com, but it was clearly dubbed off a mid-grade VHS copy, so expect it to play like an episode of Chips your uncle recorded on his brand-new $800 VCR, back in 1981. If I were Patrick Swayze, I would've bought the rights to this movie years ago and buried it. One must be impressed with his skate/dancing prowess though. His "gang" looked like they could get beat up by the gang in the Michael Jackson Beat It video.

It's basically a long, disco rollerskating music video, with a few jokes from Flip Wilson and the Unknown comic thrown in the mix.

Besides seeing Horseshack and Marsha Brady, one of the pizza guys at the snack bar was the therapist in There's Something About Mary, although I can't seem to find his credit in either film.

I know this isn't saying much, but after Saturday Night Fever, this was the best of the disco themed movies. Unlike SNF, this movie took the tact of most other disco films and tried to capture the "fun" side of disco, and greatly succeeds where many others of this type failed.Although most of the skits are only mildly amusing, the characterizations are on the money and work well.As with any musical, the dance numbers and songs make this movie and really make you want to dance and sing along with it(if you know how to roller skate)Once again, if you want a semi-historical document that seems to capture the tone of disco, this is a classic.

Alright, Star Wars was the movie for every other 7-year old at the time, as it was for me. But seeing this film after more than twenty years instantly invaded my senses. I smelled the popcorn, felt the heat of summer, and the heard handful of change my friends and I would use to get into the double features playing at a theater that has long since been bulldozed for a mega Gap store. It has all of the elements of a perfect summer movie. Action, romance, Maureen McCormick in tight shorts, Billy Barty in a characteristic though cliché tuxedo, and music. Plus, it gave us Patrick Swayze in his first screen role.

Now the plot is as formulaic as they come. Basically a dumbed down Romeo and Juliet on roller skates with bad disco on the Jersey Pier. Greg Bradford, who did nothing before or after this movie, is a young and studley out of towner whose sister, Maureen McCormick, takes him to the local skate, disco, super-rally-roller-rink where he acts like an a pathetically nieve boy next door type; but with blonde hair and biceps. No surprises when he falls instantly in love with the pettiest, most aloof girl in the joint. This ballerina on rubber wheels just happens to be the kid sister of Ace Johnson. Aka Patrick Swayze. ACE, isn't that a great name for the leader of a tough talking, fast moving, skate gang.? So, no surprises, Ace isn't thrilled with his kid sister and the new guy. There's a lot of empty threats from the Ace and members of the tough talking skater boys and notable appearances by Scott Baio who, as a friend of Maureen McCormick, tries to defuse the situation.

Of course he can't keep things from degrading, which they do, first into a "skate off" which might as well have been filmed on ice for how choreographed as feminine it was. And then it degrades further into a skate death match. Now this is where the movie is really trying hard to be as formula as possible without looking like they are trying to be formula. Now in a regular testosterone-machismo film, this is where the two can't back down let alone think teenagers would match up in a car race towards a cliff before they ditch at the last second and send their muscle cars over a cliff making us all cry. There are no cliffs in Jersey and this is a roller skate movie. The testosterone is tainted with estrogen, the pants are too tight, the skates are laced even tighter, and they race each other down a pier towards the Atlantic ocean on rocket powered skates. I kid you not.

I don't want to give away anything else, but I will say that the most challenging thing about this film is obtaining a copy. They never produced in on VHS. It hasn't been shown in years and years in a theater. Never shown on TV to my knowledge. And no plans for a DVD release that I have heard of. I just happen to have a bootleg copy that I had to sell my soul for. Cheers