I had high hopes for this film because of its stellar cast – Jason Alexander, Marissa Winkour, Kathy Griffin, A.J. Langer, and Wendie Mallick all have such strong comedy chops, I figured any movie with these actors HAD to be good. Right? Alas, this was so bad it was unwatchable.
There have been many references to Christopher Guest's mockumentaries in these comments, and I agree that this movie is a long, long way from being in the same league as Guest's. The main difference is that Guest's films genuinely love and respect their subject matters, even while deprecating them. The writers of this film apparently hate figure skaters, and as a result, the "jokes" are offensive, mean-spirited, and sexist, as opposed to being light, good-natured fun. Nearly EVERY scene contains a fat joke at Winkour's expense. The Veda character is stalked and nearly raped in a parking lot by two idiot male groupies, and this is passed off as hilarity. Bulimia and drug use are also given the comedy treatment, and every unfunny, poorly-written gag is repeated several times.
What a waste of talent! The three lead characters (Winkour, Swatek, and Langer) cannot do anything with the material. Kathy Griffin's role was far too short. Jason Alexander seems embarrassed to be in the movie, as if he signed on and then couldn't take it back. The narrator is square, boring, lacks timing, and adds nothing to the mockumentary nature of the story.
Worst of all, the movie is tragically low-budget, and nowhere is this more evidence than in the film's music. Whoever wrote the music was about 20 years behind the times, apparently scoring every scene with AWFUL 80s keyboard pop. Obviously, I can't fault a movie for not having lots of money thrown at it, but the filmmakers didn't even TRY to make this film sound professional. One character is obsessed with Madonna, yet the music she is listening to clearly is NOT Madonna's – it is a very cheap, and not at all realistic, imitation of "Get into the Groove." Similarly, another skater later ostensibly skates to the Titanic theme music, yet the "music" is clearly a bad imitation of the Titanic score, not the real thing. The filmmakers insult the audience's intelligence with this tripe, and make this movie feel like a cheap 80s film instead of one made in 2001.
I am only giving this film 4 stars because of the cast. The writing deserves 0 stars.
