Spring Break Massacre

Wow this is bad, well there are a couple of good scenes, with half naked chicks but that is about it :)

The film itself is a mess, I had hoped it would be an homage to the old scream queen movies or maybe just to the b-film genre, but this is just terrible and doesn't seem to hit any mark. It should have been an homage to something or it should just have had a better script, better acting, well just more then naked chicks as is the only thing it got going for it.

I can't recommend this at all sorry guys behind it, but you didn't try hard enough it seems, I will give it a couple of stars for some of the fun and the perky young women, but that is all I can do.

I'm going to be straight about this one. It is stated on the sleeve as a return to those "Eighties slashers" and also to the "slumber party's". First of all, slashers from the eighties do have gory shots and are really scary. Secondly, if you but names in it like Reggie Bannister or Linnea Quigley people do want the action they were given in those heydays of horror. But this one surely doesn't deliver. Oh yes, there's a lot of tits to be seen in all kinds from hanging to small to C cups but that surely doesn't make a horror, oh yes, it's gratuitous but there are some rules to follow. I've been grown up in the eighties and I have seen my amount of slashers and if girls go naked then they show it all. Here we only see tits whatever but if they show a shower scene with two chicks in it then I suspect they are naked but no can do here, they still were there knickers then it's a huge turn-off for those flesh flutes to play, if you know what I mean. Why Linnea has been cast is still a mystery for me, she's a few minutes on the screen, so it's for a teaser she's in it. The so-called slashing doesn't deliver too, it's okay but if you state "eighties" then I want to see the knife going in and some gore added. Oh no it isn't here. And to be honest, the storyline sucks and the acting is mediocre. Face it, in some scene's the titties do act better than the girls and let me don't mention the boys at the bar, what a terrible acting. Some people see it as a comedy, well tell me where to laugh. No no, it's not because you but some nudity in it and famous names from the eighties that you have a horror. Indeed, what a massacre it was.

A homemade indie slasher from Iowa, of all places. This one is really poor and throughout features stilted acting from the non-professional cast, a heck of a lot of small talk and hanging around, and a lot of deaths kept off-screen for budgetary reasons. It's entirely dull and without merit, and not even the presence of a couple of '80s veterans, Reggie Bannister and Linnea Quigley, can help.

Years ago, a girl and two guys are hanging out. She's going to party later with her girlfriends so she tries to kick them out. One of them pulls out a knife and kills her. At around that time the pizza delivery guy walks in on the scene of the murder. The suspect is sentenced to jail.

In the present a cop and a fed discuss some crime at a crime scene, a girl is a survivor. And in long flashbacks we learn what happened. Some kids (some look actually pretty old to be college kids) hang out during spring break at a lake. The guys of course want to spend time with the girls. But the girls have other plans--a slumber party. It will take place at Heather's house. Her father left for a couple of days and a creepy neighbor offers to help if she needs anything. The guys in the meantime spend time at a bar and argue whether to visit the girls anyway.

It's not long before the creepy guy starts stalking the girls, the lights go out, and some of the guys end up killed. Some of the cops in the meantime vanish and someone helps the killer from the intro escape from jail. More killings ensue and we find out eventually who's behind all of it.

Spring Break Massacre is the worst of the The ____ Massacre movies. It's fatal flaw is its atrocious look. The movie looks pale, dark, out-of-focus, which is not the way you want to go when this movie is all about attractive girls. Oddly enough, the deleted scenes look better than the actual movie. So it doesn't look like equipment is the issue but a conscious decision to make this movie look lousy.

Speaking of girls, most of them are attractive, in particular Sarah Minnich and another actress who's name I don't know, she's the girl on top on the cover.

Audio and re-recording also has issues. The story is alright though and shows some effort. Acting by the more experienced actors is good (audio problems don't help though) and Minnich does also a solid job. Several other actors don't do a solid job.

I'll give The Spring Break Massacre 3 stars. One for the lovely Sarah Minnich, who is attractive and can act. Why hasn't Hollywood given her more and better roles? One star for the little bit of nudity. One more star for the story that deserved a much better production.

Spring Break Massacre (2008) is a movie I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a group of sorority sisters who get together one night for a sleepover. It just so happens there's a serial killer on the loose that night and the the ladies are the perfect target.

This movie is directed by Michael Hoffman Jr. (Girls on Dead) and stars Reggie Bannister (Phantasm), Sarah Minnich (Army of the Dead), John Shumski (The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.) and Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead).

The storyline for this as well as it's characters and subplots are fairly cliche. The cinematography is fairly poor and as for the background sound effects, well, they tried. The acting and writing is bad and in a lot of way this feels home made. The female characters are well selected, fairly hot and there are some good nudity scenes, but not enough to make this worth watching.

Overall this movie is terrible, even for horror enthusiasts. I would score this a 2/10 and strongly recommend it.