Turbulences 3

It's movies like these that become camp classics. It should have been called Marilyn Manson Vs. Airplane 1975. Ok, so, this "rocker" who looks a lot like a Crow reject and his band decide to webcast an concert aboard a 747 at 35,000 feet, complete with thunder and fog special effects during the show. He brings along his number one fans (who all look like the clearance rack at Hot Topic attacked them) Then satantic terrorists hijack the concert in order to crash the plane into the plains of Kansas (!). Mr. Rocker must then save the day by landing the plane, all while keeping his Crow makeup from smearing, while the "gothic" passengers scream and cry all the way home.

Where the hell is Karen Black when you need her?

I suppose the main question is why Rutger Hauer's even in this film, playing a role that could have been played by literally anyone and only interacting with about two other cast members throughout the entire running time. But never mind.

Yes. Turbulence 3, then. Here's the story: a Goth rocker holds a live Internet-broadcast concert on a plane, but gets himself knocked out and replaced by a conveniently identical Satanic terrorist who wants to crash the plane into Kansas, leaving him to struggle free, fight his way through the other terrorists, clear his name and save everyone on board. Yes, the hero of this film is a skinny death rocker in full Goth make-up, whose only allies are a hacker and Gabrielle Anwar as the world's least convincing FBI agent several hundred miles away.

Sound good? Go ahead, watch it - it's appalling, and tries to serve up all the very worst Hollywood cliches as if they were ingredients in a full gourmet meal. Where's Ray Liotta when you need him?

I have to admit that I only caught the last half of this movie on cable, but I liked what I saw. John Mann is a capable stand-in (at least visually) for the Alice Cooper-wannabe set, plus (with the aid of stand-ins, no doubt) he gets to kick the bejeezus out of his "evil twin" terrorist enemy and save the day. Say what you will about the "evil influence" of rock 'n' roll music-- this time the rock star is a good guy, and John Mann does the role proud.

The first movie in the Turbulence Trilogy is a gem. Ray Liota delivers a powerful and tear-jerking performance as a serial murderer or whatever he was. I didn't expect the same level of artistry from the ensemble cast in T3, but I wes refreshingly surprised by their ability to step up to the plate and deliver a memorable performance for the third movie in this series. The protaganist is uncovered about half way through the movie, leaving the audience on the edge of their seats. Slade Craven (the protaganist)is a poetic mix between Trent Reznor, Ziggy Stardust, Iggy Pop, Julie Andrews and and that guy who works at the gas station near my apartment with the huge hands (he can grasp a cantelope with just one hand). His epic battle against his evil twin in the movie stirs many a battlefield memory in my bottom. And for the babes..whoa...20 out of 10. Add to all that the demonic co-pilot, and the terrorized fans on the plane, and you have the award-winning Good Housekeeping recipe for a successful thriller movie. Call your congressperson today and tell them to pressure the DVD industry to release the Turbulence Trilogy as a box set today! You won't be sorry. 9 out of 10 for the movie. 20 out of 10 for babes.

Of the less-than-constructive criticism out there, it seems wholly ignored that the premise of the film is Aircraft + Hijack as in the other turbulence films. The concert aboard the plane definitely isn't a cliché and can not be detrimental to the plot even in theory. Speaking of which, the plot has lovely twists and turns even though people that decide to dislike the film before it even begins may be forgiven for ignoring the finer details.

Personally I like the film more for its style rather than grue value, if such a thing applies.

Regards, Slade