Bikini Med School

This movie truly made me regret that I had a penis. This movie was supposed to be sexy (atleast I think it was). It failed terribly. I get more turned on watching Martha Stewart Living or even The View than I did watching this movie. First of all, apparently to get into Med School you must be a stripper, and finals include a strip tease in a college dorm room while your professors judge you. Even for Skin-A-Max, this plot was terrible. The sex scenes were boring at best, the chicks were okay looking, but didn't act sexy at all. If you want to avoid impotence, avoid this movie.

This movie doesn't really have a plot. It's two long clips where the guys try to get laid. But the main theme to me is the dancing and music. That's the reason I keep rewatching this movie.

One star off because the characters interrupt the music and another because the video quality is very poor as if it's recorded in 240p or lower.

BIKINI MED SCHOOL is an incredibly bad direct to video T & A comedy that looks like it was slapped together over a weekend. The plot - if you can even call it that - takes place at a medical school party that's hosting a bikini contest. There are basically two segments in the movie: the first is about several male students and their attempts at scoring with specific co-eds and sexual hi-jinx that follows, and the second centers around, well, pretty much the same thing as the first one.

Now, the idea of medical students letting loose, running around trying to score could be fun, but the film is so poorly put together that it's anything but that. For no apparent reason, old stock B & W hospital footage cuts in every few minutes. Why! What really bothered me about this movie was the fact that the filmmakers decided to cut to a sequence of a girl dancing on stage after every three lines of dialogue. We keep seeing this, over and over again, and the girls don't even take off their tops! I will admit, the dancers featuring whip cream covering up their hot spots (pre-Varsity Blues) was nice, but by the 3rd time they cut to it, I was ready to kill myself! For the love of God, let the ridiculous storyline play out!

The dialogue and the acting were weak, but that's expected for this sort of fare. I will admit, there was one sequence that I found to be somewhat humorous. In order to win a bet that he can sleep with the resident lesbian, a student steals a co-ed's clothes while she's having sex with his buddy, dresses up as a girl, hits on and then beds the lesbian. Pretty low-brow, but done so poorly it'll surely put a smile on your face. And yes, we get to see plenty of tits throughout, some nicer than others.

All in all, this is pretty horrible. Don't waste your time.

This had to have been a XXX-rated adult film that they cut the dirty parts out of. Because what is left is the most inane setups to people about to get filthy but then it jumps to these weird old-timey black-and-white scenes. Then back and forth. And then there are these heart-shaped wipes. And the worst dialogue. And no one in this movie made much else.

Was this on Cinemax, Jr. Or something?

O.K., we have a movie that is squarely aimed at the T&A market. And at 11:00 Thursday, that's exactly what I was after, so I rented this movie. I didn't get it. We have the barest outline of a plot - Med School students talking at a party. Every time the plot lags (let's say every 30 seconds or so) we cut away to either strippers doing a bump-and-grind (but not stripping) or shots of extras dancing. Only one of the bedroom encounters shows any imagination or creativity, bringing my rating from a 1 to a 2. If you rent the film, fast forward through the first hour and watch the last 15 minutes 5 times. You'll have seen a better movie.