Les amours d'Hercule

Years ago I managed to catch this one on a Saturday morning TV broadcast and watched it through to the end, with an amused smile. As other comments here attest, it's definitely not one of the better sword-and-sandal epics and, if you're a fan of that genre, you'd better appreciate what Jayne Mansfield has to offer should you give it a look-see. Like so many others in this canon, it's one of the tombstones marking the declining careers of Hollywood expatriates.

A side note: In the early 1960s Carol Burnett, in a one-woman engagement, appeared at the Greek Theater (an outdoor ampitheater, northeast of downtown Hollywood in Griffith Park, which each year had a summer season of big-name acts, ballet companies, fully-mounted operas, etc.) and, as part of her show, she did a very funny bit in which she imagined Jayne Mansfield accepting her Academy Award as Best Actress in a Hercules extravaganza. In her acceptance speech Carol/Jayne recreated a scene and I can still remember her screeching: "Hercules! Hercules! Put me DOWN!!" Got a BIG laugh. Carol must have used this film as her inspiration, for in it there's a scene toward the end where Mickey is rescuing Jayne from some peril or other and he appears to be staggering under the totality of her considerable assets. Before they had left for Italy, Jayne and Mickey had frequently performed a stunt, well-documented in filmed interviews, in which Mickey effortlessly lifted Jayne overhead and paraded her around airplane-style. His seeming inability to recreate that feat in this movie is one of the film's comic highpoints for this viewer.

The monsters and effects are laughably ridiculous, which is actually a positive that makes this worth watching. Probably the best effect are the tree men. The funniest scene is the Hydra. Other than that, the plot isn't very interesting, just a bunch of convoluted Hercules mythology thrown together. At least the actors were trying. Mostly. Recommended for Jayne Mansfield and the aforementioned silly monsters, if you want to kill some time.

In THE LOVES OF HERCULES, the titular titan (Mickey Hargitay) is vengeful after his wife is murdered. Herc goes on a quest that includes great tests of strength and feats of derring-do, complete with his toting of an enormous tree as if it was a toothpick, as well as senseless cattle slaughter.

Soon, Queen Deianira (Jayne Mansfield!) falls hopelessly in love with the big lug. A lot of time passes with no real action, though the mighty, shirtless one does glisten like a rotisserie chicken in the sun!

Then, Big H gets a chance to battle the hydra, which looks like a Rose Bowl parade float. He also gets captured by amazons, who look even better in mini-skirts than he does, though their cockatoo headdresses remain a mystery.

This isn't one of the more dynamic of its sub-genre. It mostly exists as an excuse to show off the physical attributes of Hunkules and Ms. Mansfield. So, don't expect a scintillating story line...

Mickey Hargitay is Hercules in this go-around, with wife Jayne Mansfield playing a couple of roles in a movie in which all the women seem to be what Jane Russell called 'full-figured women' in those Playtex commercials. Hargitay rides around in a very short chiton that must have caused considerable chafing, speaks with an Italian accent in the dubbed version I saw, and fights a three-headed hydra that looks and moves like a carousel critter.

There's almost nothing positive to say about this movie, which looks like it was made for an audience of libidinous five-year-olds.

Hercules (Mickey Hargitay) must save his true love (Jayne Mansfield) from an evil queen.

First of all, that plot really has very little to do with the film. More or less nothing. Hercules is distracted from his love by the queen of the Amazons... but this is really just a subplot. But anyway, the hydra is awesome in its own silly way and these are awesome costumes. Everything about this film is awesome. Awesome. Awesome. I am using that word repeatedly on purpose, because no other word sums this up.

Yeah, it may be more than a bit cheesy, but the Italians had a way of taking the Hercules story and running with it. Mario Bava did, I think even Lucio Fulci did it. Why not Bragaglia? Luca Palmieri is my go-to source for Italian film reviews. All he has to say about this one is that Mansfield is "super-shapely". Great analysis, Luca.

(Upon my second viewing of the film, the cheesiness sort of outweighed the awesome. But it would not be prudent to change the review now just because my opinion changed somewhat, would it?)