Nowhere Alaska

Jumbled mess of s**t is what this. It has no story. It has no acting. It has no point. It is just plain pointless. It is beyond awful. There are no spoilers in this because there is nothing to spoil. There is no story whatsoever. If I set up a camera to shoot a video of paint drying, it would be better than this.

Most people involved in this project are getting started in the industry. This stuff isn't easy and people grow and improve on their trade. I didn't think it was horrible. It could've left out the narrative, but it succeeded at telling an interesting story. I didn't think the acting was that bad either. I've seen worse. Kudos to them for making this happen.

I am that guy who gives movies a pass. I don't pick them apart & complain like the critics do. And I even find the good in tepid movies.

But this movie is awful, in every known metric for measuring a movie.

If I look past the actors, who appear to have less talent than freshmen year drama students at a community college in Nebraska, I am left with only a plot.

The plot, the idea, the topic of the movie is literally the only good thing about this movie. From lighting, to camera motion, to character interactions, storylines, and all other areas, it is at best a 6th grade language-arts class project by the football jock who barely passes any of his other classes.

Horrible.

I actually felt sorry for the so called actors in this putrid mess of a movie. Right from the start we had characters who were not only miscast but possessed no acting talent in the least. You'll see what I mean. Apologizing for a mess that isn't there. I'm not sure why the budget didn't allow for a light bulb in the room at the beginning. But hey, they were the right color so never mind, right? Anyway, the absurdity just keeps getting piled on until you're beaten into a mindless acceptance that this thing is simply not going to improve. I guess the one star could go to the scenery, but they even failed to capture the majesty of the setting. It's possible you've seen worse movies. Personally, I have not.