Kill Teaser

"Kill Teaser" might just be the best movie I've ever seen in my life. It's a true, unrivaled work of cinema. If this movie was a person I would give them the most back-arching, toe-curling, sheet-gripping head ever. I would sacrifice my first born for this movie. I want a book adaptation so I can walk from street to street preaching the Lord's word. Sometimes when I have Bipolar episodes I watch this movie because it's the only thing that makes me feel like a person again. It is the only thing that can sedate me.

I watched this movie for the first time with my friends and it was a blast! Didn't care too much for the multiple assault scenes, but otherwise I would worship every platform this movie touches. There seems to be a big divide between opinions though, because my good friend Roald watched this movie with me and he said this was the worst thing he'd ever seen in his entire life! I couldn't hold back my rage and just HAD to fight him! He fell backwards and even broke my living room coffee table, which I've since turned the demolished wood into an alter to worship this movie. Roald, if you see this, the only liquid that will relinquish the pain of your fiery eternity will be God spitting in your face! 😂

I'm distraught because the only reason I ever see people talking about this movie is because this guy "Will Wood" is in it. I'm not sure who that is but I've watched this movie at least 15 times and I can assure you there are no people made of wood in it! What a rip-off! But I love this movie unapologetically, like one does a child, so I'll forgive it.

Roald says that ever since I've started watching this movie he's become "scared of me" because I'm "violent" and this movie is "disfiguring my brain". Well, Roald, I cut the break lines on your bike, so we'll see who's "disfigured" soon! 😂😂😂

MB X. McClain you are Sick and Twisted. It is disturbing that there was a whole cast of people actually involved in this who would willingly participate in this garbage fire what even happened there i'm actually in shock in the most negative way possible.

This movie was genuinely unpleasant in many different ways to watch, the redeemable quality of it is it having a slightly above average plot but sometimes, they can't even execute the plot correctly without it feeling like there's multiple people that are working on it with multiple different ideas and the other redeemable quality is the fact that Will Wood is in the movie, I love that dude with all my heart, but I have never thought he would've willingly participated in this dumpster fire of a movie. I can see why I found it for free on Tubi. It really is not worth the watch, unless you really like Will Wood that much I don't recommend it.