Fast & Furious 9

Just please stop it! That's unbelievable and we really sick of this, and we all know that you sick of this too, and you guys just make it to get earnings and a F money , but please we DON'T WANT MORE.

As Tej (played by Ludacris) says in the movie: "as long as we obey the laws of physics, then we'll be fine, okay?"

Yeah, that concept is right out the window in this movie. Literally. But hey, at least this 2021 movie titled "F9" made for some really good laughs.

Granted, I wasn't expecting a whole lot from director Justin Lin's movie here, as the franchise has been one steady downhill ride since after the first movie. And with each movie things become more and more outrageous and out of hand. In fact, by now the movie franchise ought to be renamed into "The Outrageous and Ludicrous".

Still, I had the opportunity to watch "F9", and so I did, as I hadn't already seen it. And yeah, "F9" was as laughable as I had anticipated it.

Actually, Cipher (played by Charlize Theron) actually summarized how I was feeling throughout the entire movie here, with one single line that she uttered in the movie; "you got to be kidding me."

Visually then "F9" was good. Yeah, I will say that much, because the visuals definitely are top notch and help carry the movie, as basically everything else in the movie wasn't doing much for the movie.

And yeah, they had a very impressive cast ensemble for "F9", I will admit that much. What does amaze me, however, is that people on the cast list don't stop up and go "really?" when they read the script. But I guess, a dollar is a dollar, huh?

If you sit down to watch "F9", you have to put aside anything called laws of physics and realism. Because all those concepts are non-existing in this movie. And the abundance of things that was downright laughable and outrageous in "F9" is countless, but at least they provided me with a heap of laughs. Yeah, I couldn't help laugh throughout the majority of this movie, because it was just so bad.

"F9" is a watchable movie, but it is essentially just another testimony to why the "Fast and Furious" franchise should have stopped after "Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift".

I am rating "F9" a very bland and mediocre five out of ten stars. This is a movie that left no impressions on me, and it is one that will just quietly fade into oblivion, given its ludicrous over-the-top lack of respect for laws of physics, gravity and realism.

Most unrealistic movie I have ever seen. That's it. That's all I have to say about it.

In the 20 years of its existence, The Fast & the Furious franchise has upgraded itself several times over the years. What started as a story about illegal street racing transitioned to heist thrillers with Fast Five and with every next sequel inflating the action set pieces & discarding physics, the series now enjoys the same status as comic-book blockbusters, glued together by its sermons about family. F9 continues this new tradition by taking things to preposterous heights and is another dumb entry in the saga.

Directed by Justin Lin (Fast Five & Star Trek Beyond), this ninth instalment simply looks at all the ridiculous premise & over-the-top action the last few instalments employed and just tries to take the next big leap. Logic & gravity left the saga a long time back so viewers expecting any of it now are only kidding themselves. Brainless entertainment can be fun when it's done right but it's all executed so terribly here that along with common sense goes its sense of joy. The action & drama just feels bland, soulless & uninspiring.

If you thought that Dom & his so-called family taking on planes, trains, tanks & submarine in the previous chapters was a tad too much then you will be amused by the places this sequel ventures to. And yet, none of it feels even remotely surprising. It's full of setups, twists & dull action that never for once stimulate the senses and are predictable from afar. Performances don't deserve a mention just like the schlocky writing on display here. Its 143 mins runtime is strongly felt and even its attempts at humour fall flat this time around.

Overall, F9 is as forgettable as it is formulaic and isn't even enjoyable for the most part. The ridiculous action sequences dialled to extremity is just hollow from within, and fall way short of delivering the desired payoff. From beginning to end, it is an absolute chore to sit through. Despite the glaring shortcomings, fans of the saga may still manage to scavenge something out of this big-budget garbage. A lifeless & lacklustre piece of blockbuster filmmaking, F9 is one of the weakest additions to The Fast Saga and is no less than an utter disappointment.

It's not terrible, you just have to be okay with remembering it's a senseless movie. I agree with most of the crappy ratings but I do think it's still an entertaining movie.

I was laughing so hard just 20 minutes in, looking at how fake and unrealistic it was, but then what else would you expect from a fast and furious movie these days. After seeing the previous two movies, nothing surprised me, not even the illogical stunts they pulled. Though they overdid themselves this time, you really need to shut your brain off to enjoy this one because they've turned a racing movie into a superhero movie now. Almost nothing makes sense in the plot or the science behind the action sequences.