"Oh, Danny-Bob, the rusted tail pipes caw-wall you..."
"Porter Ridge" is yet another "reality" show, from the same folks who brought us "Duck Dynasty". While the latter generally presents a semblance of veracity, "Porter Ridge" often seems plotted (if not actually scripted).
The "Porter" of the title is one Terry Porter, who runs a car-parts junkyard. He hardly ever wears a shirt, apparently thinking it makes him sexy (though his chest is nothing anyone, male or female, would find attractive). His fuse burns short and quick, and when he's upset (which is often), he spews words so rapidly, and with such poor enunciation, that subtitles are needed. He's arrogant, manic, and tries to control everything around him, including people. He has a son, though it's hard to understand how his wife would have ever let him approach her for reproductive purposes.
What makes Terry so irritating is that he's surrounded by intelligent, good-natured people whom he pressures to do his will (even when they're not his employees). This is Appalachia, primarily settled by the Scots and Irish, who are generally smart folks -- and Terry is the /only/ one of the "cast" who might make you think otherwise. (Well, Elvis Larry, maybe.)
As in Lake Wobegone, all the men are good-looking (the bearded ones, anyway). Jeff Watson, the handsomest of the lot, runs a bear sanctuary, and his rapport with the animals almost justifies watching the show. He tells a big brown bear to hop into a tub for a bath, and it does without any prodding. Unleashed cubs run after Jeff, and when he picks one up, it wraps its arms around his neck and licks his beard. It's beyond adorable, without getting icky. Jeff is about as opposite to Terry as you can imagine, occasionally serving as a dramatic counterweight.
Kyla is the token female among the regulars. She's pretty (for a woman), and (un)dresses like Daisy Duke. She's got a lot more common sense than Terry (her boss), but he won't listen.
The vulgar humor is pretty good. A (supposed) police officer says Dirty Andy smells like a jockstrap. When Terry wonders why he was recognized while wearing sunglasses, Jeff cracks "It was the nipples". (Terry's nipples are a continuing source of jokes -- especially his recurring complaint that shirts irritate them.)
Other regulars include Terry's employees, and the Sciscoe family, which runs the competing Dog Killer Ridge junkyard.
A recent episode combined stories about a demolition derby in which the contestants try to knock loose whatever the other cars are towing, and Terry's attempt to start a limousine service using a working limousine that was slated for parting out.
The derby was believable. The limousine service seemed utterly phony, an "I Love Lucy" situation in which everything goes wrong. The "Red Green" aspect appears when Terry stupidly books two customers for the same time and night, and the resulting need for a second limo "inspires" him to weld the front of one truck to the rear of another. If you believe that...
Enjoying this show depends on not letting the plausible stuff make you think the plotted material is "real". The latest episode had the junkyard gang stripping a police car for parts. This occurred not only because the officer parked the car in the junkyard's "tow-away" zone, but left his keys in it! That is simply not believable.
If you like bearded (semi-)rural men, you'll go nuts over "Porter Ridge". It's a parade of irresistible eye candy. Otherwise, you're going to have to tolerate an (often-comic) attempt to pass off fiction as fact. I like the hairy guys, but not everyone will, soI've given no rating. Your call.
PS: The IMDb biography for Jeff Watson states that he is currently married to Leanne, his wife of 27 years. However, the series itself indicates that Leanne passed on, due to medical malpractice, and that Jeff is still fighting for a settlement.
