Ring of Desire

Can't complain about a campy fun film about discovering a ring in the woods that makes people have great sex. What's artistically creative with the execution of this film is how you're expecting graphic nudity and heavy sex scenes but is actually shown in a creative/burlesque tease style of way. Makes sense given that the director Ronnie Nanos comes from the burlesque community and creates some beautiful images and moments in a film you wouldn't expect to be artistic. Beautiful location up in the mountains with a cabin in the woods, Adriane Mclean is the standout actress who uses the ring's power for her own purposes and pleasures. An entertaining fun late night watch with your partner or your sexy single self.

Invite all your friends, and have a rollicking good time portraying your favorite film-lampooning cinephiles with Ring of Desire. The plot is entertainingly improbable, the dialogue (that which is audible) flimsy, and the production values on par with your family's recording of Christmas morning 1996. The fact that some of the actors manage to deliver respectable performances is a testament to their apparent talent or their very good luck. The burlesque-inspired, yet chaste, sex scenes were utterly bizarre- the ring-inhabiting actresses reminded me of strange cats.

Overall, Ring of Desire is a movie that delivers in entertainment value if you know what you're getting yourself into: a just-for-fun home video that'll give you and your friends a good laugh.

So when a character is telling you, they are all about white magic and not about hurting people, just to contradict herself a few seconds later by admitting that a certain ring actually has dark magic powers ... you may have discovered that you are overthinking it.

I am not too convinced with the actors, but the story is decent enough I reckon. It would make a good story/shell for a softcore flick I reckon. But while the movie has a lot of sexual situations in it and teases a lot, there is no noteable nudity to speak of (I did not pause or zoom, you just don't see anything in particular and right in your face is what I am saying - no pun intended).

Horror buffs will recognize Felissa Rose ... not the same impact in this as she had in a Sleepaway camp back in the day ... just saying. But a nice touch ...

This movie is poorly made on just... EVERY level.

The audio sounds like they placed the mics in bags of chips or in a running shower. Except for the scenes where there simply was not audible dialogue. What a choice!

The performances remind one of Katie Britt's response to the State of the Union. Wildly vacillating emotions occur within the same line of dialogue. It's a talkie, dammit!

The script... exists, I suppose.

An A/V teacher in 6th grade would give this a solid B- for effort. Like, 'good job on learning to use the camera, Johnny. You exported the movie to an mp4 format and it plays a file that is not corrupted.'

Also, did the lead male actor kind of have the hots for his sister?

When the first thing that pops to mind is 'at least Birdemic didn't lose dialogue for whole scenes' you know you're in for a rough watch. This movie makes 'Troll 2' look like 'The Godfather.'

This movie has some of the worst sound editing we've ever heard, and we watch a lot of bad movies. The dialogue cuts out for two long stretches. How is this the Final Cut? Must have run out of money. Guess it doesn't make sense to complain about the lost dialogue because the script is terrible.

If you're into weird scenes of seduction and sex-obsessed lesbians, women from 300 years ago that somehow have full-body tattoos, Australian knock-off David Arquettes, huge plot holes, and excessive bronzer, then please stop what you're doing and watch this movie. It has all that and more.