Blonde and Blonder

As a 43 year old man, I grew up in a time where Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards were about as hot as it gets. I know how that sounds. But if anyone came to this movie for any other reason, they're probably lying. I'd be amazed if a woman watched this movie independently.

This movie is nearly unwatchable. It does feature plenty of spandex and low cut shirts, and even that renders it largely unwatchable. The jokes aren't funny or creative, they are literally just jokes about how dumb these two blond women are. There are two attractive brunettes running around in spandex, and they don't really add much to the story.

Amazingly, for 90 minutes, this movie tries to do too much. There are five different people all involved in some form of miscommunication. I suppose there would be potential for this movie, if they cut down on the different pairs and focused more on the writing. I'm not sure why Pamela Anderson thought this was a good idea. Did she have to fulfill a contract with a studio? Did she owe a studio a movie?

This is so bad in so many ways. However, for that reason the film becomes amusing and is a bit of fun to watch.

When I was at the movie store the other day, I passed up Blonde and Blonder, but something about it just seemed like it could possibly be a cute movie. Who knows? I mean, I'm sure most people bashed Romy and Michelle before they saw it, Blonde and Blonder might have just been another secret treasure that was passed up. But when I started watching it: Executive Producer Pamela Anderson, wow, I knew I was in for something scary. Not only that, but both of what were considered the pinnacle of hotness: Pam Anderson and Denise Richards, not to offend them, but they were not aging well at all and they're playing roles that I think were more meant for women who are supposed to be in their 20's, not their 40's. The story was just plain bad and obnoxious.

Dee and Dawn are your beyond stupid stereotypical blonde's, they really don't have a clue when it comes to what is going on in the world, it's just really sad. But when the girls are somehow mistaken for murder assassins, the cops are on their tale and are actually calling the girls geniuses due to their "ignorance is bliss" attitudes. They are set up to make a "hit" on a guy, and they think they're just going to "show him a good time", but the real assassin is ticked and wants the case and to kill the girls.

Denise and Pam just look very awkward on the screen and almost like they read the script the day before. I know that this was supposed to be the stupid comedy, but it was more than stupid, it went onto obnoxious and was just unnecessary. Would I ever recommend this? Not in a million years, the girls are just at this point trying to maintain their status as "sex kittens", it's more a sign of desperation and Blonde and Blonder is a huge blonde BOMBshell.

1/10

How could I best express my feelings about this movie: hideous? a headache? lack of coherent writing? plain stupidity? Try all of the above for this travesty. And that just for the direction.

Story? Well I guess there is a story. Two dumb blondes look for a job after they crash a plane into a golf course. They are mistaken for a 'world renounced assassin' (sarcasm) and are 'hired' by two 'mobsters'. One thinks "taking him out" means a date, and the other gets the minor actor she dreams of. And of course, the turtle reserve for the farting turtle, that they build with the casino winnings.

Sounds likes all this could be funny? Guess again. They try to make it funny, but its not. Filming sequences aren't well done. I've seen better filming in Hong Kong movies. Visuals are average for a late 80s film. But the problem is that its a 2007 movie.

Not worth my time to ever watch this again. It still doesn't beat Danny Glover's "Out" movie from the early 80s as the worst movie of all time, but then again that film is in a class of its own. "F"

Horrible premise, horrible script, horrible production quality, better than horrible acting make this movie a must watch. I cannot believe the budget on this disaster of a film is estimated at $8,000,000. Is that Canadian? Pam and Denise are the only reason to watch this attempt at a movie. I will always wonder how films such as these get greenlit. Just horrible.

Having typed all that, it is a fun frolic to enjoy during the early 2020's pandemic lock down.