Haunted Boat

Haunted Boat, what a movie name! Sounds like a working title they forgot to update doesn't it?

It tells the story of six 20 somethings who go out on a boat to party and weird things happen and.....yeah....so.....wow.

I was immediatly struck by its low rating, at time of writing it's sat at 2.1 and that's incredibly low. It takes a special breed of movie to get a rating like that and I was convinced this wouldn't be one of them. It is, it really really is.

For me to rate a movie 1/10 means it has no redeeming features at all, it means it fails on literally every single front and that's an accomplishment in itself and very rare.

The story is non-sensical, the sfx are awful, the cast/characters are forgettable, the construction is dire and the soundtrack! Is so poorly done I can't even put into words. They play stock music that doesn't even remotely go with the scene and it's so inappropriate I actually laughed out loud.

Haunted Boat is one of the worst films I've seen in years, it's a masterclass on how not to make a movie and something that makes the Sharknado films look Oscar worthy by comparison.

The Good:

Hahahahahahaha NO!

The Bad:

Terrible cutaway scenes

Laughable sfx

Really poor title

Awful cover art

Random soundtrack that just doesn't fit the scenes

Stock screams

Dreadful "Plot"

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

You can identify Amish folk by their faces

The "I fear no evil" passage of the bible has never worked in the history of movies

I checked this movie out when it still had 6 votes and it said like 7.2 or something, but seriously this is a horrible movie. Lets break it down. The first thing you notice about this movie is that it was filmed on a hand-held digital camera owned by a freshman at a community college. the next thing you'll notice is that the actors, are all friends of said freshman (he probably met them at the pub the night before. Third on the list you will notice that the musical editing is horrible, and they try to cram many songs into this movie, at 30 second intervals... also all digital editing is done on said freshman's home PC... probably using windows movie maker. This movie was horrible... pretentious, had an undeniably bad script, and acting that followed suit. I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone I know, but I do sentence the writer and director to watch this movie in hell for an eternity.

This is easily one of the worst 5 movies I've ever seen. It's not scary or any of the other things suggested in the plot outline. This movie is agonizingly slow and I was bored for almost all 98 minutes. While the acting is mediocre at best, the biggest problem is the script, which is poorly written, slow and plodding with no real direction. Occasionally an eerie mood is set only to be broken by some useless line or event. I'm not surprised that the entire cast was sick and throwing up between shots, they did after all have to try and digest a terrible script. As a huge fan of good horror movies, I'm always irritated that something this bad gets made. Save yourself 98 minutes you'll never get back.

I saw this film yesterday. I must admit, it weren't my cup of tea. Although it's supposed to be a horror movie of its kind. But as I was watching this, I was thinking.. 'This movie isn't making any sense at all..' Where on earth did this guy in the dark coat came from? Where were the two guys were going when they left the girls behind? Where on earth did a shark came out from?

All these elements in this film somehow didn't add up. I felt as if these filmmakers wasted so much time and money on a film that was so bound to be so crap.

I've seen many good horror movies in my time, but this is one of the most worst horror flicks I've seen. At the end of the movie, I said to myself that I wouldn't watch it again.. So much pappy show in this film, I've decided to give it the thumbs down! Count me out on this one! 0 out of 10!

Some of the reviews on this movie make it seem like a super intellectual movie of parallel worlds and peoples deepest fears... I think its just a frustrating, boring,and confusing mess of ideas that don't lead anywhere. The ending makes no sense and it takes a excruciatingly long time to get there.