Touch of Pink

WARNING: Not only spoilers but some personal comments/rants

Yeah, the premise is stale - multicultural (white/non-american) gay couple, homophobic mother, coming out etc. For most people, Cary Grant/Kyle Maclahan was the best aspect of the movie. Kyle Maclahan has clearly enjoyed himself, and it is a delight to watch him perform. But there is more to the movie. It is surprisingly realistic! Now reviewers I have a lot of respect for, including NY Times, have been harsh on the movie and that is understandable even though it's surprising. In my humble opinion, based on living in the South Asian culture for 27+ years of my life, I beg to differ.

The fundamental difference between the "Western" culture and the "Asian" culture, as I can see, is the disproportionate emphasis on family in Asian culture as opposed to individuality, privacy, and personal space. To give you an example, in all the time I lived in India (the first 22 years of my life), I never had my "own" room. Even my parents didn't have their bedroom. Everyone slept in the living room. We shared closets for keeping clothes, shelves for books etc. People grow up differently under such circumstances. You learn to "sacrifice" for the sake of family. A tremendous amount of the individual pride in the Western culture - all that living your life to the fullest extent, being what you want to be in life, making your own choices and learning to take responsibility for them - is lost. It resurfaces as family pride. You do everything for your family. Your family has to be the best it can be. Your choices are guided by the ultimate prestige of the family. The elders (the heads of the family) make the choices for the younger ones. You would live at your parents' house till you are married to a person of opposite sex and once your parents retire, you and your spouse become heads of the family. Then its your turn. Even then you can't make decisions based on your preferences but based on what is "appropriate" to maintain and build the prestige of the family.

I am probably saying stuff people think they know. You really don't until you experience it. I've found my American friends find all the Indian movies (Bollywood) very amusing with all its over-the-top melodrama. Having lived in US for 5+ years, I find it over-the-top and am turned off by it most of the time. But when I do sit and watch an Indian movie, I'm sucked into it at some point. I've always wondered why. The reason is this: in India, people actually live like that. My parents are living proofs for this fact. Everything is turned into an emotional blackmail so that I uphold the prestige of the family and help my parents "win" in their social life. Yes, parents actually consider arranged marriages of their children as personal victories in upholding family prestige and "love" marriages of their children as personal failures. Oh, the fact that I'm gay doesn't even enter the picture! So, for all its unbelievability and over-the-top amateur production values, this movie is indeed believable, simply because I have heard this very dialog from my own mother about plunging a knife in her heart for something much less trivial than falling in love with a "phirangi" - a foreign (different skin-colored) woman. Is my mom a selfish controlling monster? She probably is, according to Western culture, because she wants me to marry a South Indian, Iyengar Brahmin girl of good heritage despite the fact that I am gay, and that she'd throw much worse tantrums than Nuru ever did in the movie. But then, I know my mom better. I know the kind of personal sacrifices she did for the sake of her family, sacrifices that would have been called foolish, stupid, and naiveté by Western culture. Now I won't marry a girl and "sacrifice" like her, but I do understand that in my mom is a manipulator and a victim. I completely understand why Alim went to Toronto after his mom than stay in London and go after Giles.

The movie touched me personally despite being flawed in many ways. Jimi Mistry's performance was horrible and Giles and Alim had almost no chemistry. The production values were amateurish. The biggest problem for me with the movie was that Alim's character was not fleshed out at all even in the screenplay level. Despite all that, the movie rang true in a number of levels for me and did not stereotype or reduce the issue of a gay man coming out in an Indian culture to a caricature. I applaud Ian Iqbal Rashid for that.

7 out of 10

Sure, the underlying plot of a son hiding his sexuality from his conservative mother isn't original and completely unpredictable, but there is a lot more to it, unlike many successful Hollywood movies. There's no nonstop violence and destruction, celebrity appearances, explicit sex scenes, or crude humor--not that those always make bad movies.

The characters have varied depth (as do real people), the dialogue is great and sometimes even clever, and of course there are some good laughs. It's tasteful and maybe a little bit 'artsy', but that's completely okay. The details of the plot are different enough to keep it interesting. Some touching character secrets are revealed. 'Too bad it didn't have a wider release in theaters or more well-placed publicity. I think it would've been more successful. I definitely rank it as one of my favorites.

As always, don't let the opinions of strangers be the only deciding factor for seeing a movie. Sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't.

Just like television these days, gay-themed movies are becoming a more popular genre. There aren't very many gay-themed movies that are actually realistic with a decent script and acting. Too many screen writers fall into writing stereotypical characters with story lines that revolve around AIDS or clubbing. Finally, Hollywood is making some good movies that are actually enjoyable. Touch of Pink is about a gay Canadian living in London with his boyfriend. He's not only gay, but his family is devout to his Indian culture. His family has no idea about him being gay until his mom comes to visit him, hoping to find a spouse for him.

The movie is fun and often comical. Kyle MacLachlan plays the main characters imaginary friend. MacLachlan does a great job, and the character's writing is witty and fun, but the character gets more annoying as the movie goes on. The movie tries to recreate a modern-day Cary Grant movie, but only makes it half way. In the end, the movie is fun and enjoyable, and doesn't fall into all the pitfalls of making gay-themed movies.

A remarkably charming homage to a dozen 40's, 50's and 60s romantic comedies. The plot is a standard coming-out-to-mom story, not particularly surprising, but mom and auntie are brilliant. Entire scenes are lifted from Doris Day/Katherine Hepburn/Cary Grant movies.

Kyle MacLachlan as the spirit of Cary Grant mentors a gay Indian man in Toronto and London while the boyfriend charms the sari off of mom. The ambitious and acquisitive relatives plan a ridiculous marriage while the alienated son clings to an integrity no one else bothers with.

At last, a story that's not poignant or heartwarming, just funny and good.

I'd seen a preview for Touch of Pink and waited curiously until it came out on DVD to watch it. In that time however I started to read negative reviews for the film with some claiming it to be a rather dull and unfunny sort of movie. With slight anxiety I popped in the film and fell immediately in love with it. I don't mind that it isn't the most original of coming out movies but I certainly did think it was worth more than the reviews panned it to be. I found Alim and Giles' relationship to be quite refreshing from the bore of most gay relationships in movies. The family "ethnic" barrier played in quite well as did Giles' on again off again loose flings. I was most surprised by the way Machlachlan carried himself as Grant, he was fantastic! I watched the movie a second time and found Grant's presence to be more comical than previously thought. The film carried itself well throughout the film and ended nice and warm if not a bit predictable. Don't listen to the film critics who judge gay movies based on their original "gay" story, just enjoy the romantic comedy involving two very attractive men!