S*P*Y*S

Two CIA agents - the straight laced Bruland (Donald Sutherland) and unorthodox Griff (Elliott Gould) - are on the run from the Russians, the Chinese, and their own boss (Joss Ackland) in Paris. They hide out with revolutionary Sybil (Zouzou) while trying to locate some mircodots that will help get them money to get out of the country. Shot under the title Wet Stuff, 20th Century Fox changed the title to the asterisk-laden one in an attempt to draw on their mega-hit M*A*S*H (1970) with Sutherland and Gould. About the only thing the two films have in common is the shared leads. It is pretty obvious they thought they could skirt on the charm of the leading men, but both are off their game in scene chewing roles (Gould is especially bad). According to an article in Variety, Sutherland and Gould tried to convince the producers to let them switch roles right before shooting started and I don't think that could have saved it. According to an interview with Gould on the DVD, they improvised a lot on the set. It didn't help. This is rough, rough stuff as director Irvin Kershner fails to get even a single laugh. How bad is it? The comedy highlight is Sutherland getting zonked by nerve gas. Apparently the filmmakers thought this was comedy gold as they did it twice. There is also an oppressively bad score by Jerry Goldsmith that hits you over the head with "this be funny" comedy cues like tubas and, good lord, a slide whistle. There appear to have been attempts to salvage the comedy aspect with lots of dubbed in lines, but it never works. A*V*O*I*D!

Look, this movie is a fun romp. Nothing more. Made to poke fun at an America stuck fast in the cold war. To judge it harshly is to not understand the decade it was created in. It's buddy film from the 70s. It's got two great stars in it and its filled with wonderful comedic moments and also some great character performances, too. It's a comedy and comedy is always subjective. Gould is at his smooth hipster best, and Southerland complements him well as the nerdier company-man partner. Watch it and enjoy to guys having fun making a movie in Paris during their heyday in 70s films.

If it were made today it would probably star Will Ferrel and Owen Wilson. And it would probably be just as fun.

S.P.Y.S (2 outta 5 stars)

Pretty lame spy "spoof" that put a kibosh on the possibility of Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould becoming the greatest comedy team of the '70s. The guys are both great comic actors and they have loads of screen chemistry together. If you don't care much for either of these actors you will probably hate this movie... and if you are a big, big fan of either one of them... well, you probably still won't think much of it. Playing a pair of maverick secret agents forced to work together, they start out complaining and bickering but over the course of their adventure (some overly-complicated plot about assassinations, missing diamonds and foreign agents) they begin to get chummy. Sutherland and Gould have charisma to burn but the lousy, nearly joke-free script doesn't give them much to work with. I suppose if this has been a big box office hit they could have continued the franchise and gone on to bigger and better movies together... but, this tanked with audiences and I don't think they two have worked together since. Anyway, I have to add that I have always absolutely loved the last scene of the movie... as our two defeated heroes, in full-out charming rascal mode, skip off down a lonely road together and start singing:

Oh, we don't know what's comin' tomorrow, Maybe it's trouble and sorrow, But we'll travel the road Sharin' our load Side by side

You take it, brother! Through all kinds of weatherrrrr! Did You hear that, Lord? Whether the sky should fall Whether the skyyyyy should fallllll Just as long as we're together It doesn't matter at all...

Great wrap-up... too bad about the first 85 minutes.

It's been over 30 years since seeing this movie for the first time, and I can still feel the pain. This ranks right up there on my worst movie of all time list. And I am a Sutherland fan. I actually walked out of the theater the first time...and I was on a date! I recently gave it another try, thinking it couldn't possibly have been THAT bad. Nope. I was right the first time. Again, excruciating to watch. I know that they were probably trying to strike gold again by pairing Gould and Sutherland after they played so well together in MASH, but with a story as stupid as this even they can't pull it off. Do yourself a favor, and just re-watch MASH.

Unless you're an absolute die-hard fan of Donald and Elliott, then you might be able to tolerate this movie, but I bet everyone involved in it really regretted doing it. Just as much as you'll regret watching it. They certainly have a great chemistry, and there are a few laughs in spite of everything. My favorite scene is the last one, not only because the movie is over but because Elliott Gould and Donald Sutherland's charm together really comes through. A last-ditch attempt to leave the audience with a smile, perhaps.