Attaque du Requin à 5 Têtes

I've seen some reviews that give this a 10/10 or say that this is the scariest thing they have seen (scarier than "Silence of the Lambs" or "The Shining" - WTactualF?!?!?! - They must have been paid to write the rubbish!

The title should give you an indication that this is not a super epic or realistic film, and on that it clearly delivers. A typical SyFy film with over the top CGI, bad acting, poor story and impossible feats of reality and nonsense. As the title suggests, a mutated aquatic predator is on the loose. It's up to the local coast guard and scientists from a Puerto Rican Aquarium to stop it before the kill count rises. Along the way you'll get the usual, and expected pointless deaths and tongue in cheek dialogue delivered in an all too camp way. A follow-up to "3 Headed Shark Attack" which won't ruin your cinema/TV movie experience if you miss it and don't bother. If you are a fan of tacky shark based films you'd probably be better looking at "Sharknado". I knew what to expect before watching this and still it failed to deliver any real enjoyment, just anther SyFy Shark film jumping on the bandwagon of an over populated shark infested water of films.

I won't leave spoilers, I'll save them for the Goofs section instead because there were loads of mistakes throughout, but FTR the shark does have 5 heads, it just isn't apparent till half way through because of bad editing, or because the production team only decided to add a fifth 5th head halfway through editing FFS.

2 out of 10 and that's being generous!!

We start with a cover graphic that can not count to five. It shows five fierce shark heads where, in this film there are only for on the front of the fish. I say 'suicide by shark' for good reason. Of course the shark heads must be 'fed' by unlucky actors but how about just a tad of creativity! We know it is suicide by shark to stand at the very tip of the boat, leaning toward the water, look for the shark while at the same time you might as well wear an 'eat me' sign. Or tip toe along the edge of a small craft, hardly able to keep your balance so that falling into the water is certain.

The project head, Thaddeus, wants to catch the shark. He takes his mostly eye-candy crew and, so far as I could tell, not a shred of equipment he would need to capture the shark if it swam to the boat and said 'take me.'

Red was the shark hunter type character from Jaws. Sadly he was given the silliest lines in the film. Does anyone see the shark, know where it is? And, my favorite, he's still alive... bullets won't kill him..... this after he handed out guns and has his crew shooting. Why, if bullets are useless?

Worst is the use of hand guns to kill any large monster. Red gives a girl a hand gun while others get rifles. The two cope on the police boat can have any weapon they wish. What do they choose against the beast....yup...little bitty pistols. There is nothing sillier then using and shooting little pistols at any large, thick skinned beast. Red was, of course right, bullets can not kill the beast. Boats are under attack for ten minutes before the cop calls for help. Someone said there were five writers. If true then they needed 8 or 10 to easily fix the above, unnecessary fails. On the plus side there were fun moments, especially the opening shark attack where all four 'major' heads decide its meal time!

Boooooo! Boooooo! This movie SUCKS! Everything about this movie is lame.

You know this movie is going to be ridiculous before you decide watching it. It's that kind of movie that you watch just to laugh at, sort of like Sharknado.

Pros:

• Hot girls

• Hilarious shark attacks

• Hilarious looking shark

Cons:

• Acting is terrible

• CGI is bad obviously. I mean, why would anyone spend a crap ton of money making a realistic looking 5 headed shark.

• No connection to characters at all. They make poor attempts to try to get you to not want someone to die.

• Attack scenes are very drawn out. When the shark is swimming, it makes it seem like it's going super fast and close, but then the camera cuts to the people and it's somehow not even close to them.

The first thing that comes to mind is 'who comes up with these ideas?' That being said then I must admit that I am a sucker for these creature features despite the chances being well in the high area of the movie being questionable at best.

I will say that "5-Headed Shark Attack" was not a particularly thrilling movie, it was as predictable as they come, and it seemed that not even the actors were fully believing in the movie script.

The shark and the CGI was actually good enough, although the design of the shark was so ludicrous that it was actually hillarious to witness on the screen.

There are far better shark movies available and putting 5 heads on one shark doesn't make it five times as intense, it almost works in quite the opposite.

If you are a fan of the creature feature movies then you might find something enjoyable in a movie such as this, but if you are expecting something in the likes of "Jaws", then your money is better spent elsewhere.