Transformers: le réveil des bêtes

Where do I start? Let's start with the positive; the CGI was amazing. The bad; the acting, and the casting was terrible. I don't know who wrote the script, but it was awful also. Nothing against the actors, but some of them seem so miscast in their roles. The girls voice was absolutely annoying. Sometimes over acting, sometimes not acting at all. But all in all just terrible. Sometimes great dialogue can say bad acting, in this case, the dialogue was just as bad. Cringe worthy. I was hoping for more as I love the transformers movies. I wanted to stop watching within the first 15 minutes, but I also wanted to give it a chance to see if it would get better. It didn't. If this is the best they've got they should stop now.

After the success of 'Bumblebee' I was hoping that this instalment might offer a more rewarding viewing experience than the previous cash grab Transformers outings, but I was sorely mistaken. It is unfortunately a rather drab affair.

Within about 5 minutes every cliche possible is ticked off the list. The dialogue is grating and so corny it hurts. The action is messy and disorienting. The newly introduced 'Maximals' are severely wasted with limited screen time. The plot centres around a silly doohickey that is hard to care about. The human characters are kind of annoying and poorly written. None of the humour really lands and neither do any of the emotional story beats. The story sags a little in the middle. I could go on.

Saying all that, this film is mildly entertaining and does have its moments, although they are too few and far between. I guess it's worth watching if you are into your Transformers films, but the casual movie goer should probably save their money and skip this one.

I appreciated the fact that this film made Optimus Prime an actual character, and that it found a couple of interesting, believable ways to give the human characters a legitimate use in the story.

Aside from a few moments involving these things, I was bored senseless by this movie.

I struggle to comprehend how a script like this passes so many hands and makes it to production; it has some of the worst dialogue this side of Attack of the Clones.

Everything in this movie is told to us, rather than creatively shown. It's obnoxious, it's lazy, and it's stupid. It treats us, the audience, like we're stupid as it spoon feeds every piece of information to us like we're infants, even though the story is really simple and nothing original or complex happens once.

All this could be saved if the action were entertaining and investing. But it isn't, aside from a handful of stylish shots.

Say what you will about Michael Bay's movies. (They're bad.) But at least they had huge scale to them and the stakes were understood.

This is a bland blockbuster movie, through and through. The action never features any destruction or threat to human life. There isn't a practical, real thing happening on screen.

Artificial, boring, and derivative, with about 5-10 minutes worth of good material.

I thought Bumblebee was a bright spot, but it looks like the good streak has been cut short.

Well, it's about robots from outer space so just turn your brain off for maximum enjoyment. If you told me the script was AI-generated, I'd believe it.

But is it entertaining? Depends on your definition. If you want to see robots and humans hunting MacGuffins, clashing and brawling for their respective fates, painfully cringe dialog and jokes, and a predictable plot? Then yes, it's entertaining.

I'm a sucker for 90s hip-hop, so hearing Tribe and Wu-Tang was a pleasant surprise. I also appreciate the dynamic lighting and how the robots are integrated into their environments. They don't stick out too much or look odd.

Until they talk. Then most of the immersion goes right out the window. Nearly every robot-spoken word is delivered with the gusto of the movie trailer voiceover guy bellowing cliches like ancient creeds.

And yet, as the 3rd act progressed I found myself starting to be won over, almost like a case of Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe because I stopped thinking about it. Maybe the movie itself became a visual lobotomy.

I almost want to recommend this. Not because it's good, but because it's bad in ways that are endearing and sort of fun.

Well, after I left the theater I felt somehow lobotomized, numb and dead like a rock (well, maybe I'm wrong and stones are more alive than I realize). Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is one of those many examples that raise one question: where are the talents and the creative people these days? Certainly not too many are involved in the movie business - Rise of the Beasts got nothing that will raise it above the bar of barely acceptable: a dead boring story line, dead boring characters, and terrible dialogues we listened to one million times before. The special effects are somewhat okay, but, well, that's pretty standard these days. Recommendation only for the absolute hardcore fan of the Transformer universe or for those who are - for whatever reason - in need for some brain killing experience.