Jailbait

Jailbait: The harrowing true story of how beautiful Thai model Sara Malakui Lane became contractually obligated to make movies for The Asylum production company. You know The Asylum, they are the people who make those straight-to-DVD movies that sound like other blockbuster movies, e.g. Battle of Los Angeles, Apocalypse Pompeii, Jack the Giant Killer, you know...the worst movies ever made. Well here is another one, and it is dreadful but you are still going to watch it for the same reason I did, because Sara Malakui Lane is fine as hell and she takes her shirt off more times than Matthew McConaughey on a hot day in Austin. There simply is no other reason to watch this movie folks, unless you enjoy spending an hour and a half watching a movie so bad it looks like their entire technical crew was picked up daily from the parking lot of a Home Depot, and half the cast to boot.

I watched this after watching 'Orange is not the only black', which was very enjoyable. This was not. It's not a comedy like 'Orange' largely is – but nor is it a serious film about what life is really like inside a woman's prison. If you're looking for something deep and soul searching then look elsewhere – but if you're looking for cheap thrills then this is, however, probably exactly what you're looking for. It's basically a violent soft core porn movie. The acting is AWFUL – not a single actor was in anyway credible and the fight sequences were some of the worst ever committed to celluloid. In short, if you're looking for an exploitative sex film and are prepared to put up with the most wooden acting you've ever seen then you'll have a blast.

All you will remember about the movie is.. her boobs.

They could've at least tried to cast young looking adults to play teens. All these "juveniles" look like middle-aged women. But....gotta love all the boobies though :D.

I am not sure this movie was meant to be funny but it certainly was amusing. Here is what it had going for it. The frequent appearance of Anna's exceptionally and obviously enhanced (You could see scars beneath each breast and in the armpit) boobs were a BIG PLUS (pun intended).

The dialogue was horrible and the violence was more cartoonish then troubling or excessive.

The acting was marginal, I'd really give this a lower score but let's face it-Anna is a knockout so I shouldn't be too hard on this movie.

The funniest thing of all, when you watch the scene where she gets her letter from the parole board you will find that these incredible cheap movie makers only typed the first couple sentences and the rest of the letter (pause the movie if you do not believe me it is HILARIOUS), is actually a scene from another movie or a script or story. It talks about an elevator clanking to a ominous halt and Jane gripping the rails and praying...ON THE PAROLE LETTER! I mean talk about wristwatches in Spartacus, why would you do something so stupid in a movie. Did it cost to much to use a blank paper when they typed the Parole Board paragraph?