Hatchet

Trying to get over his girlfriend leaving him, Ben (Joel David Moore) joins his friends in New Orleans for Mardi Gras, where there are plenty of women to go around. But Ben doesn't want women, he wants adventure, so he goes off on a haunted swamp tour... but as luck would have it, one of the haunted tales has a grain of truth to it: Victor Crowley is prowling the swamps!

Is Moore the new go-to guy for horror? While he's more memorable in "Dodgeball", he seems to be making more appearances in horror ("The Dead One"), and I welcome it. Writer-Director Adam Green picked a good leading man. I also love that Tony Todd and Robert Englund appear as minor characters and Kane Hodder appears out of makeup or without a mask (at least part of the time). Between this film and "Leslie Vernon", it seems like there's an effort to move the main horror veterans of this era (the 1980s-1990s) to the background and bring in new faces. And if these two films are any example, it's working.

This film is working in the 1980s style: it's just plain fun. Some level of plot development is here, but not really any more than is needed -- the focus is strictly on the slashing of the heroes and on showing excessive blood spray. We have a hero (actually a heroine) who sort of knows what is going on and henchmen who just die (think "Evil Dead II"). And for the beginning of the film, we have humor and nudity. Hooray! (Actually, there's nudity here and there throughout the film.)

The best part of this film -- the blood -- is also the worst part. If you want something more than brainless slasher, you have the wrong film. There's no deep thinking here, and the background of the monster doesn't make a lot of sense. How does he survive attacks and fire? Who knows? And even as the film progresses, there's no shift to moving the plot forward... don't expect some big revelation or anything, because you won't find it in this film. Just kids running in the woods.

Listening to the commentary is a great way to learn how to make a film with no budget and how to set it in New Orleans when there is no New Orleans -- reuse extras as much as possible, shoot scenes with doors in other cities so the actors don't have to travel... and many other little tricks. Adam Green may be a genius in this regard, pushing low budget to its most beautiful extreme.

This film was given to horror fans as the answer to the drought in horror goodness, and I think they may have over-hyped it. I know it won a variety of awards at film festivals, and I'm not going to say it didn't deserve them. But this also isn't going to be the best film you'll see all year, so if you've been holding out for a hero, this won't be the film, probably. Sorry, Bonnie Tyler. But it is good... very good, for what it is.

Ben (Joel David Moore) is recovering from a separation after eight years. To take his mind off of it, he decides to go on a night ghost-tour of New Orleans swamp with his friend Marcus (Deon Richmond). Tagging along for the ride are: the mysterious Marybeth (Tamara Feldman), lesbians Misty (Mercedes McNab) and Jenna (Joleigh Fioreavanti), sleaze-bag Shapiro (Joel Murray) and an old couple (Richard Riehle and Patrika Darbo). Not to forget their shifty tour guide, Shawn (Parry Chen). Once they set off in the boat (after a crazy old man warns them of the danger awaiting them), they soon enough crash and are stranded in the middle of the swamp. Moreover, they are being stalked and brutally dispatched by Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder, of Jason Voorhees fame), a huge and disfigured man out for revenge.

By now, I am sure you have realised the amount of clichéd stereotypes are present in Adam Green's Hatchet. This is a throwback to the late 70's and 80's slashers that are now very famous (films like Friday the 13th, Halloween, The Burning, Sleepaway Camp and The Prowler). Hype surrounded this film for quite some time before it was released, Hatchet was being heralded as the one of the best horror movies of this decade and a genre defining work. Unfortunately, these claims are quite inaccurate. Although Hatchet is an entertaining movie, it adds nothing to the slasher sub-genre and it is not all original.

Nonetheless, amongst all the dire remakes, shoddy Saw movies and bland sequels, Green has created a damn good horror/comedy with bucket loads of extreme gore. Every single actor does an amazing job, yes, I am being dead serious. Joe Moore, Mercedes McNab and Deon Richmond are excellent at delivering comedic lines totally with total believability. That is not to say the rest were bad, they all played their parts naturally. Horror aficionados will appreciate a few cameos from genre favourites, Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street) and Tony Todd (Candyman) all make brief, but entertaining, appearances. Also, John Carl Buechler (director of the underrated Friday the 13th Part VII) and Joshua Leonard (The Blair Witch Project) assist in aiding the campy atmosphere.

On Buechler, his special effects are insane! Seriously, this is one of the bloodiest, goriest and most visceral horror film I have seen released in a LONG time! The sheer amount of brutality shown on-screen is enough to make hardened gorehounds drool in delight. Every death is long, drawn out and features a whole of lot of blood spray! Decapitations, detached limbs, electric sanders, impalements and hatchets are a few of the many ways in which the unlucky group meet their demise. Kudos must also go to the makeup on Victor Crowley, he is definitely a horror villain to look out for. Kane Hodder plays Crowley with his usual ferocity and relish.

Alongside the gore, Green knows how to keep a movie going at a steady pace. Hatchet never gets boring, it is constantly moving and because of this, is made much more exciting. The story plays out nicely, nothing new; however, Crowley's past is summed up quickly (and smart enough) and no part is ever dragged out. The only time when the script slips up is in the very final scene, which is a total letdown and really ruins what the movie had going for it.

Hatchet is really a love it or hate it movie. Personally, I think it is very good and a nostalgic reminder of the good old days of the slasher. With gratuitous violence, nudity and plenty of camp, Green has asserted himself as someone to look out for with Hatchet.

7/10

I went to see this film in part due to praise heaped on it by previous reviewers who had described it as clever and a fresh addition to the genre.

And it was .. for at least the first ~45 minutes or so.

I was immediately drawn in, the dialogue was notably above par for the genre, full of witty quips and more subtle bits of humor that reference horror classics. In the opening scenes we see notable cameos from Robert Englund ("Nightmare On Elm Street" series) and Tony Todd (of "Candyman" series fame). A respectable flashback sequence is included to introduce the "Hatchet" back story.

And so the movie takes off running, seemingly quite well. Fresh and unique, forging a new path through the wastleland of redundant slasher flicks as "Sean of the Dead" and "Scream" had done in previous years.

Unfortunately about half way through, this movie does a complete about-face. The witty banter is replaced with idiotic dribble more reminiscent of "I Know What You Did Last Summer" than the first half of the film. It's almost as if they fired an adept writer halfway through the script and replaced him with the proverbial thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters.

At this point the dam breaks, and the tired clichés pour through in droves. We are treated to a prolonged scene of foliage inspection and other such nonsense to fill the reel between death scenes. The characters repeatedly wait to flee screaming in panic until *after* they have disabled or incapacitated the title baddie. The only dread anticipation built in the second half is whether this film will be the schoolbus that was hit by the train, or the one that managed to avoid it.

Once the gore fest begins, it is eerily reminiscent of early "Troma" titles, over the top and fatuous. The "Hatchet" character even seems like it might have been modeled from the "Toxic Avenger". I can appreciate the merits of a lawn sprinkler arterial spray or projectile vomiting, on occasion, but modern film gore effects really have no excuse to still be of that "BrainDead" visual quality.

Despite the dual personalities of this film, I think it still manages to hack out a few good parts.

• 5/10 -

Anyone whose a regular on sites like Ain't It Cool News has no doubt caught the massive hype campaign for Adam Green's Hatchet. Well, to get straight to the point, don't buy into it. Certain people would have you believe that this is the second coming of the horror genre (just like Hostel part II right?). What movie did they see? I saw a very by the book slasher flick with no surprises or real twists on the genre.

The plot concerns a tour group in the NOLA swamps that begin to be picked off one by one by the deformed Victor Crowley (wow what an original name). Crowley looks like the Elephant Man on steroids and of course, possesses super human strength. For a character whose been called the next horror icon, I just can't help but be underwhelmed. The big reveal of the grown up Crowley is so ineptly handled I actually said "that's it?" to myself. He sorta of just strolls onto screen. Movies like The Descent and Feast handled these kinds of reveals so much more memorably.

I'll give credit were credit is due though. The kills in this movie are delightfully over the top and gory. They're definitely the highlight of the movie. But, it's at odds with the acting, which for once is actually pretty good. The actors in this movie for the most part play it straight and do a convincing job. I really liked Joel Moore, who I'm eager to see more of. But it's too real. I know that's an odd complaint but bear with me here. The actors are so convincing in places and seem to behave like real people probably would in this situation, but then Crowley rips someone's arms off or appears, literally, from out of nowhere. This disparity hurts the film in the long run. Either it really should have gone for all out splatstick zaniness, or it should have toned down on the sillier moments and played it more for real scares.

The score isn't doing anyone any favors either. It's the all too typical, crappy sounding MIDI highlighting and underlining every cheap scare with a big sting. I am so sick to death of this type of horror score. If you don't have a budget, forget the MIDI and go for creepy minimalism.

I wish Adam Green the best in his career because there is potential here, but he's still green. Maybe next time Adam.

This review is after I saw a viewing of the uncut/unrated DVD version at the Horror Hound convention in Indianapolis on Nov. 16, 2007.

The movie to me, is pretty much a variation of "The Burning" in my opinion. There are a lot of things similar in the plot department. The basic story is some people want to go on a haunted tour in the New Orleans swamps, and they get their wish along with a story about the spirit of a Victor Crowley who was hideously deformed at birth, and accidentally hit in the head with a hatchet by his Father when their house caught fire, the Father was trying to save him. So the Father has long since died from grief, but old disfigured hatchet in the face Victor is supposed to still be around there in spirit. The boat the people are taking the tour on hits some rocks and starts to sink, so they have to go to land, and that's when they come up on Victor's former house. It's not long until Victor shows up, and he's portrayed by Kane Hodder with some pretty fair makeup. It's slicing and dicing time with plenty of blood and some excellent gore, that I'm afraid people going to see the theatrical version will miss. There's nothing original and all that great about this movie, it's basically just another slasher film with some obvious humor, and excellent gore effects. The main thing myself and what I heard from other people after it was over, is the ending really sucks. I won't say anymore, because I know many out there haven't seen it yet, but this first "Hatchet" almost seems like an introduction to the sequel, which is already in the works. Now get this, "Hatchet" is being released next month on both DVD and in the theaters, and all ready, the sequel is pretty much ready to start. So I guess, Victor is supposed to be the new Jason, Freddy, and Michael, all rolled up into one. All I have to say about that, is bullshit. Don't end a frigging movie like they did, totally setting up a sequel. For that reason, I came away with a rather negative feeling, even though I loved all the blood and gore. I think "Hatchet" is being over-hyped, in fact, WAY over-hyped, and a lot of horror/gore fans are going to be a little let down, especially with the awful ending.