Shatter Dead

Shatter Dead exhibits much weakness within its plot and structural makeup. The story appears to be dreamed up as some kind of twisted fantasy of the director as the filming process progressed. The "blood and guts" effects were possibly the largest downfall of the film. The same effect could have been achieved by merely dumping spaghetti and meatballs on the actors and actresses. A majority of the acting was unprofessional and cheesy.

Sadly, the only scenes which are able to keep an audience awake are the ones which contain nudity. Sound effects are another large problem which adds to the films downfall. The camera crew is able to be heard brushing up against the camera. That is acceptable in a documentary or a film of that caliber but not a "walking dead" movie. In conclusion, Shatter Dead merits a 3 on a scale of 10 for not containing key element of a credible film.

Having read of this film and its charms in such reputable genre magazines as "Rue Morgue" and "Fangoria" over the past eight years or so, I finally got around to viewing "Shatter Dead" in its newly released DVD format. That said, I find myself shaking my head (and just shaking in general) as to how anyone with an IQ higher than that of the most scholarly of algae could summon up anything positive to say about this terrible waste of time and money. While the premise of having the living dead trying to live amongst us is an intriguing one to this long-time viewer of hardcore porn, (Oops! Did I say hardcore porn? Sorry, I meant to say zombie movies.) there is nothing at all intriguing about watching a lousy student film (which is to say, a student film) shot directly to video, starring said student's film school chums running around backyards and stripmalls with the same blatantly latex makeup jobs as if they'd all consumed cases of Schlitz Malt Liquor with Vicatin chasers. Much more interesting would be a film about a pencil factory where the evil CEO falls into the grinding machine and his soul comes to inhabit millions of number two pencils the world over. Mankind, armed only with his own moxie and a few good pencil sharpeners, in the end are no match for this fiendish plot, and soon succumb to the heathen pleasures of permanent and non-permanent inks. I call it, "Get the Lead Out!", and while it may not exactly be coming to a theater near you anytime soon, when it does, you will find it a much more harrowing experience than say, "Shatter Dead", and you will believe (!!!), or, at the very least, you'll think twice before chomping on our bright yellow friends. As I close, I am reminded again of this kindergarden klownfest's declaration that "God Hates You!". Well, duhh! Tell me something I don't know! Of course God hates me. He told me to watch "Shatter Dead".

After hearing much hype about this supposedly graphic yet thoughtful zombie movie I gave it a shot, much to my dismay.

Strait-jacking Romero's infamous 'Dawn of the Dead' line about there being no more room in hell for it's plot, 'Shatter Dead' follows the exploits of a rather unpleasant female as she attempts to get to her boyfriend in a world were the dead don't die. Along the way she meets assorted boring humans, a wack-job preacher, and some living dead just trying to get by.

The film tries for high-concept, but lays limp at low-execution. The locations look like spots near the director's home, the actors don't ever act, the script is thin past the set up, the gore FX aren't convincing, the direction is uninspired, etc, etc. Just nothing about it ever works. The film could have tried to rely upon the strength of the set-up to at least flirt with some existential examination, but instead the filmmakers fall back on dime-novel psycho-babble and pseudo-religious rhetoric.

As far as providing exploitive thrills, yet again the promise is not delivered. There is some violence and blood/gore, but it's cheaply executed and badly edited together. On the sexploitive front, things fare no better. While there is a fair amount of nudity, it is mostly of the lead female who (I am sorry to say) is not very attractive. For the whole movie only one bit, just one, actually stood out; a late movie sex scene where a blood drained zombie male is forced to strap on a hand-gun in order to engage in intercourse. That one blurb of exploitive lunacy accounts for the 2 rating.

Not much of a horror movie, not much of a sexploitive movie...just not much of a movie.

2/10

More regrets:

I have to be the biggest sucker in the world. What other person would go out and buy so many of these backyard home video horror movies? Why did I buy into all the hype that these little genre websites give to these pieces of garbage!?

Well I've learned my lesson. Yes, I was an idiot to go out and buy so many of these films but having done so, I feel safe in saying that any positive reviews that junk like this gets has to be written by cast members or the directors themselves because there's no way anyone besides people involved who could actually like this crap.

First off, this is not a movie for fans of traditional zombie films! Shatter Dead is a cheap looking home video. It's not a horror film in any sense, it's nothing more then a wanna be art film. It's got the most vile looking cast ever assembled to carry the lame story forward. It's got the lowest production values I've ever seen and I've seen a lot of these type films lately. There was no way of getting behind any of the character's because they all sucked! A bunch of art film school students making a video in their backyard. Nothing more!!! The only good thing about this garbage was the DVD sleeve which worked like a charm in suckering me into buying it.

If one is desperate for a z-grade zombie film then they'd be better to look into MEAT MARKET 2 which I also recently bought. While that movie was nothing great either, it's at least a zombie film that entertains the viewer. Shatter Dead does nothing but annoy and bore the viewer.

0/10 AVOID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had heard that this movie was so cool and creative, so I had high expectations. I was immediately disappointed when the movie started and the picture looked like it was filmed by a camcorder. The female lead's acting is so bad, I contemplated turning the dvd off. That bad. I kept on watching because I paid a pretty penny (more than the average price for a dvd) to get a copy of this movie (from the distributor). I also wanted to see if the story and gore were any good. Good luck. The story is about a girl trying to get back to her apartment, that's it. There was some crappy gore and a xxx scene involving the female lead, her boyfriend and a pistol (a pellet handgun in reality). You can probably figure out the rest. I threw away the dvd, just as I threw away my money when I bought it.