Viñedo sangriento

I didn't think much of this back in '89, but now the film serves as a fond reminder of a time when horror films didn't have to make much sense just so long as there were hot women in various states of undress, and lots of hokey special makeup effects with a touch of gore. The Vineyard offers plenty of those, as well as a hilariously bad party scene, spider vomiting, some questionable '80s fashion (including that classic male ensemble, cropped vest and three quarter length sweat pants), incredibly big spectacles (as sported by Hong Kong star Michael Wong), a nifty decapitation, James Hong hamming it up, and zombies. In short, it's as cheesy as hell and quite a lot of fun for it.

Hong, who also co-directs, plays wine producer Dr. Elson Po, who poses as a film producer to lure young victims to his island, where he uses their blood to create a potion that prolongs his life. Without this precious elixir, he quickly reverts to an aged state. His latest group of unsuspecting visitors consists of several very fit beauties, a couple of jocks, and journalist Jeremy (Wong), who is writing an article about Po. What follows is incredibly dumb, but rather enjoyable nonsense, that, like a fine wine, has improved with age.

6.5 out of 10, rounded up to 7 for all the big-haired babes.

Dr. Elson Po (James Hong) is one of the world's most famous wine growers. He has a magic potion which has kept him handsome and alive during the centuries. However, lately the magic which rejuvenates him seem to be less and less effective.

This film was written by, directed by and starring James Hong. So if you are a Hong fan, this is the picture for you -- he brings an angle to horror that I certainly have not seen elsewhere. I am not sure if you can call him Chinese-American, since he was born in the United States, but he has made an American film with Chinese roots -- possibly a unique feat in American horror.

Some of this was pure 1980s. Hong's dance in the mask at his 1980s party was pretty weird, and the music certainly amplified the weirdness. The special effects range from good to bad. I liked the masks and makeup, but some of the "electricity" just looked terrible.

Watch as actor James Hong (who also co-wrote and co-direct) puts on a show! He steals every frame he's in, but this is because the competition is few and far between. When he isn't obsessively going off his rocker and having his face morph about, you're probably transfixed by the presence (not the acting) of playmate bunny Karen Witter. Hong's depraved character definitely is, but the scenes they mostly share are less than interesting other than the daft climatic showdown. Outside of Hong and Karl Heinz-Tuber, the majority of the performances are one-note and vacant.

Dr. Elson Po is a world renowned wine grower, but he also has a dark secret with an obsession for the forbidden secrets of immortality. To stop the rapid aging process, Po feeds on the life-force of the young aspiring actresses he invites to his island.

"The Vinyard" is low-rent and quite sloppy, despite the amusing unhinged mad doctor / black magic hokum. It has its moments with some ghoulish jolts, sleazy encounters and nasty monster make-up FX (zombies join the party), but it can be patchy and lackadaisical in scenes. Moments can be quite talky (numerous boring exchanges) with the silly script throwing about strange ideas, spiritual themes and linking it with Chinese mythology. At times it can be atmospheric, but its villa and vineyard setting on a secluded island is never taken full advantage of. Even throw in a dungeon with chains.

"You're in a lot of danger here."

The movie wasn't great, but it had it's moments. I think James Hong did a good job and found his character quite creepy. Some of the scenes including the spider scene were pretty scary! The fight scenes were quite good, especially when the preppy guy and his girlfriend were working together to defeat Po's big, burly bodyguards.

Most of the cast are one hit wonders (if you consider this movie to be a "hit"). They made sure to hire a young, good-looking cast including the gorgeous Karen Witter who played Jezebel. Dr. Po may have been 1000 years old, but his choice of a spouse was right on the money!

This horror movie from 1989 really embodies the entire spirit and feel of the 1980 horror movies. It is hard to put a concrete example on what it is to it that makes it so, but it just is.

"The Vineyard" is fairly straight forward. A reclusive wine grower, famous for his unique wines, have invited a group of young aspiring actors to his estate for what they believe in to be a party and an audition for a movie. However, the wine maker has something else in store for the young people, as he needs them to brew his special wine; a wine that has kept him young and alive for centuries.

The effects in the movie were very 1980s. Just watch the movie, and you will know immediately what I am talking about here. The zombies weren't particularly detailed, but I assume for a movie from back then they were quite good.

The storyline is generic and stereotypical for late 1980s horror movies, being predictable to the core. But still, the movie is fun to watch because it is campy and cheesy. And it was fun to watch James Hong in this particular role. Being a fan of Hong Kong cinema, it was also fun to watch Michael Wong in this movie.

If you enjoy horror movies from the 1980s, then "The Vineyard" is definitely one to watch. And the ending is guaranteed to have you laughing...