Horror House on Highway Five

It is hard to describe what my feeling on this movie is. To put it simply, this might be one of the most bizarre horror films of the 1980's. Were the makers of the film on drugs when they filmed and wrote the script? Did they even have a script at that? Was this all filmed in one night? Who knows? All I know is that as bad as this flick is it is hard to pull your face away from it.

I will try my hardest to sum up what the movie is about so bear with me. Basically, some college kids have to do some research on a Nazi named Bartholomew who was making some wild experiments many years ago. Supposedly he is dead and all that is left are his 2 grown children, who grew up to be Nazi's, also. Apparently, the experiments were being performed at a house off of highway 5 (where ever highway 5 is). One of the girl college students is kidnapped by the Nazi brothers and is brought to the house to perform a human sacrifice for some odd reason. The other college kids go to the house, get creeped out, and camp out somewhere else. While all this is going on we have a guy in a Richard Nixon mask played by a guy listed in the cast as Ronald Reagon running around killing everybody.

The incoherent storyline is only one of the many things that make this one of the most bizarre movies out there. Misplaced music ranging from trippy 60's music to an organ is what fills the movie up. The whole atmosphere of it all is down right weird and hypnotic. Of course, the acting is bad and the filming is even worse. But, I guess that is one of the things that gives this movie its charm. And what is the deal with having a guy in the cast go by the name of the Ronald Reagon?

I don't really have a lot to say about this movie. It is just one of those flicks that need to be seen to be believed. Check it out. 6/10

I've read many, many lengthy, compelling reviews of HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY FIVE. Every single one of them ripped this little straight-to-video obscurity to shreds. None of these reviews even hinted that the film could be considered at least slightly amusing, if even for camp value. It was because of this type of incessant, brutal criticism the movie has received by the few people who have actually seen it that I decided to seek it out and give it a go. When I finally saw it, I was stunned. No review, no plot summary, or no inane message-board-horror-freak banter could have prepared me for the experience.

HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY FIVE has an approximate running time of 90 minutes, but to me, it was all a blur. I popped in the tape and was immediately bombarded with a barrage of surreal, incoherent images and eerily funny yet nonsensical lines of dialogue. For the first time in years, I was glued to my television set. There was really no plot per se, but rather a constant stream of cinematic insanity involving a man in a Nixon mask, two Nazi brothers, pot smoking hippies, dead cats, homemade explosives, dancing, chloroform hijinx, and a disturbingly unfitting, genre-defiant soundtrack.

Now, mind you, I am no stranger to the vast world of bizarre movies. I thoroughly enjoy flicks such as ERASERHEAD, SWEET MOVIE, BEGOTTEN, UN CHIEN ANDALOU, and EL TOPO. But for whatever reason, this movie affected me on a level that no other has, and I'm having a hard time pinpointing why. Perhaps it's because films like the ones I just listed knew exactly what they were doing. They were meant to be disturbing, bizarre, and confusing, thus making their weirdness easier to accept. But I'm not so sure HHOH5 even realizes just how strange it really is. I'm sure its intent was simply to spook and shock its viewers, but instead it comes across as some kind of completely accidental minimalist/surrealist/faux-arthouse pic. Imagine blending the works of Nick Zedd, Ed Wood, and Salvador Dali. Yes, it's just that weird.

So did I like this movie? I honestly don't know. For once in my life a movie has sent my emotions into a whirlwind, and trying to determine my feelings about it is nothing short of impossible. It's almost as if HHOH5 has caused some kind of chemical imbalance in my brain. I will say this, though: it was definitely entertaining, but don't know if I could ever prepare myself to endure its lunacy a second time.

HHOH5 will cause any "Scream"-fan to shut the tape off in under three minutes. However, fans of horrible horrors will eat up the killer-in-a-Richard-Nixon mask thing, as well as plenty of priceless dialogue. You've been warned.

I rented this with such skepticism. And you know, I thought it would be so cool. Really violent and terrifying. It would be disgustingly gory at times, and just somewhat above the bar horror yarn. What I got was something so totally different.

The movie starts with this woman in her home. Her husband goes out somewhere, telling her he'll be back. Pretty soon, he's a goner, and his killer takes a Nixon mask the guy used to scare his wife and puts it on. Then the wacko goes into the house to get the wife. The scene moves so damn slow, even though it is supposed to be scary. There is, like, no sound, the wife reacts to everything, like, five or ten seconds after it happens, and there's this really gross scene where she falls on this glass table and her whole wrist is shredded up and off. And there's, like, two drops of blood! Then the scene continues, and we all knows what happens next.

The movie moves on, and we find out about this wacko father and his two sons. Then enter these three college students getting to know about Highway Five. One of the girls--I can't remember why--meets the two brothers, who eventually invite her back to their apartment. It's all so very surreal. Eventually, that night, they kidnap her and take her to their house up on Highway Five.

The two others--a freaky pothead guy and some hippie-esque girl--head up to this abandoned lot on Highway Five in their van, to do something. Research, I suppose. I have faint memory. Cut to many scenes with the other girl, then nighttime. This movie is so weird and I won't tell you everything, but soon, the killers start killing everybody off until this long--and quite weird--chase scene with the hippie and Nixon. Then an ending that I have to admit, left me on the edge of my seat until the very unique and very cool ending.

I totally suggest checking this movie out. It has cult potential. I could watch this many times. It is so weird. If you find this, PLEASE see it. At first, you will hate it, then you will like it for how cheesy it is. If anything, you have never seen anything like this before.

The DVD box reads "A Cult Classic Never Before Released On DVD!" Two questions, a cult classic on what planet and why was it ever released to begin with??

The catch phrase for the movie is "see it or die!!!" I saw it and wanted to die!!! I can accept some inadequacies in any horror movie because all horror movies can't be "Night of the Living Dead" or "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". Unfortunately "Horror House on Highway 5" is way beyond acceptable.

This tragic piece of celluloid has no plot, actors with little talent, terrible dialogue, no continuity and the worst soundtrack I've ever heard.

The only redeeming quality in this movie is Susan Leslie who played Louise "the scientist" Susan is the only, and I mean only, reason I rated this movie a three! Without her, it would be a zero!