Appointment with Venus

The British garrison has been evacuated from the Channel Islands and soon after the Germans occupy the islands. The British send a very small expedition force to attempt to transport back to Britain a prize Guernsey cow named Venus. The Nazi commandant of the island recognizes the breeding value of this cow makes plans to have her shipped to Germany. The key members of the rescue team are Glynis Johns and David Niven - two actors who never disappoint. The commandant is a sympathetic character who treats the islanders with great respect. It's all rather bucolic and pleasant with just one nasty Nazi soldier who provides the tension to the story. It's a charming and engaging movie set in a fascinating locale and a reminder of a perhaps little remembered fact of this German occupation. The print I saw of this was great and I'll be watching this movie again.

The storyline involving one of the smaller the Channel Islands, whereby the British navy, with David Niven, as the army officer leading an operation to rescue a prize, pedigree cow (Venus) from a small island called Amorel, rather then let the Germans have the prize beast, seems to have great potential for humour and drama. However, sad to say, it doesn't really tick either box, suggesting that the director was caught in two minds. Bernard Lee as usual plays an army officer, but his role leaves him little to do. Glynis Johns is miscast as the local guide and Niven's romantic interest, since she shows no sparkle or energy but comes across as a mild mannered, one dimensional character, who speaks in the same 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' monotone voice throughout the film. Kenneth More, is also wasted, playing the island's pacifist artist, who wants nothing to do with the war, More never engages the audience's empathy, since he walks around most of the the time feeling hard done by and looking sorry for himself. Niven never breaks into a sweat, but plays the cheery, urbane, 'come on lads' type of military officer, who adopts a 'Boy Scout leader' approach to the bovine operation. Even the dramatic scenes between the plucky channel islanders and the German are underwhelming and unconvincing. The film meanders along and presents a happy outcome but essentially it misses the mark.

It's the Second World War, and the Germans have just occupied the Channel Islands. The High Command have ordered a rescue mission on the (fictional) island of Amorel. David Niven is to lead the mission. He needs a local guide, and that turns out to be Glynis Johns. The preparations are extensive and unique, because they're trying to bring out a prize purebred cow.

Before you scoff, please be aware that something similar was done in rescuing the Aldenay breed from the Channel Island of that name. It's still absurd in retrospect, but everyone in the movie takes it seriously, which helps some with a cast that includes George Coulouris (in his first of nine appearances in director Ralph Thomas' movies) as the cultured cattle-breeding officer in charge of the island, and Noel Purcell as the navigator who knows the local waters. There's a suitable amount of flag-waving, islanders loyal to His Majesty, a cute kid, and a nasty German sergeant.

In short, this is pretty much a bog-standard movie with a great cast that makes it highly watchable. For me, I was enchanted as soon as Miss Johns' name appeared in the credits. There's extensive location shooting, with Sark standing in for the fictitious island, and a final race between the British PT boat and a pursuing German craft. This movie was near the end of the period when a serious movie could be made about such a subject. Soon enough, it would be all war-is-hell dramas and service comedies.

With little way of defending it and few valuable resources to protect, the UK allows the German army to invade Channel Islands while the residents decide on a peaceful acceptance including non-violence resistance. However the Ministry of Agriculture is quick to point out that this means the Germans will have possession of one of Britain's finest cows, Venus, who also happens to pregnant with a calf. With the issue raised, the War Office dispatches Major Valentine Moreland to liberate the cow and return her to the safety and honest green grass of British-held territory.

Despite the fairly ordinary sounding title, this film has a premise that makes it sound like it can only be a funny little comedy that has plenty of light British wit. However the film is nothing of the sort and, while being a bit of a flop, it is also a rather strange beast that can't seem to settle into any one thing comfortably. After a bit of a comic tone that seems to be putting the tongue in the cheek we then suddenly get serious with more of a dramatic approach. The drama is never thrilling and it is all a bit silly and thus prevented me really getting into it – daring do in war movies is all well and good but much more important things really happened than this fictional case. Now I'm not sure about the true history regarding the Channel Islands but it might be a touchy issue over how little resistance was given up – hence we have the film making very deliberate points about how dignified and upright the residents are. Strangely the film also takes care to avoid painting all Germans as evil and the commander is quite a decent farmer – maybe not that surprising considering it was made in the 50's but still strange to see in an old war movie.

Niven is not that well known for this film and it is easy to see why as he does appear to be freewheeling in it. His presence is always appreciated but it is hard to watch this and not think of many stronger war films where he worked much better. Likewise Kenneth Moore is a strange find and he has very little to do. Johns is dull, Coulouris is far too careful and upright and the rest of the support cast just kind of do the basics without any feeling – Purcell being the only one to really add colour in an easy role.

Overall this is a mixed film that doesn't really do anything well as it isn't funny, dramatic, involving, interesting or exciting. The story will mean it sticks in my mind but other than that there is nothing special or memorable here.

"Appointment with Venus" author Jerrard Tickell, who also wrote "Odette", wrote that the germ of the idea for his novel, and delightful movie, came ten years or more in the past when he had a conversation with a Colonel "Duke" Wright in the British War Office. In 1940, Wright was O.C. at Guernsey and, with the fall of France, had the dangerous task of evacuating the garrison from the Channel Islands. After a nightmare journey, the exhausted, unshaven but triumphant Wright reported to the War Office at three in the morning that not a man had been lost. The junior officer who greeted him remarked what a pity it was that the Colonel had failed to bring any pedigreed cows with him. And added, "I suppose you couldn't go back and collect some." Tickell wrote that Colonel Wright's reply was as pungent as it was unprintable.