Oso vicioso

Ummmmm, where do I begin. I didn't watch any trailers or read any reviews. I saw the poster and title and thought, "I'm definitely watching that." After seeing it, I can say with confidence that it's exactly what a movie named Cocaine Bear should be.

Aside from being an extremely fun and outrageous thriller, this movie is hysterical. I was full-volume laughing frequently. So many parts are the perfect combination of memorable and hilarious. It knows exactly what it's doing.

The other thing that made me happy is seeing a studio have the courage to allow the filmmakers to go all out. I compare it to M3gan which was going for a similar tone. But M3gan was toned down to PG-13 so teens could watch. Cocaine Bear is rated R as it absolutely should be. It's not gratuitous but it never feels like it's holding back.

I had a blast with this movie. If the title or premise intrigue you, you will most likely be pleased. (2 viewings, opening Thursday 2/23/2023, 5/20/2023)

This may not be a great movie, it doesn't even qualify as a good movie, but it's the most fun I've had in years! There's no character development, the gore looks very fake, and so does the computer animated bear. But it's set in the 1980s and that alone makes it worth watching. And the fact that this movie obviously doesn't take itself too seriously makes it a lot of fun to watch.

Kudos to Elizabeth Banks who directed it. She's always been a fun actress and that attitude of hers comes back in this movie. If you haven't seen it, go watch it! It will be a funny waste of your valuable time! Highly recommended for when you have nothing better to do.

Cocaine Bear offers little beyond the trailers in terms of originality, flashiness, or cleverness, but it does offer more of the same...and a lot of it. Chances are, however you interpret the trailers and however you feel about them will determine how you enjoy this movie. If you're ready for a leave-your-brain-at-home 80's adventure of slasher gore (sans human antagonist) and some corny punchlines, then this is your ticket. I would be lying if I said I did not have the occasional chuckle, and truth be told, some of SFX company Weta's bear animations were uncomfortably realistic at times. Ultimately though, I found myself several times throughout the brisk 95 minute runtime wishing the film would tingle my brain with abstractions that never came.

My advice? If you like the trailer, see it in theaters. If you were indifferent about the trailer, wait until it hits streaming.

It's a giant bear that finds drugs and mauls people. Made-for-TV SyFy affair? Nope, a genuine b-movie, name actors and loads of gruesome deaths; and they are gory, believe you me. It's kind of a real kick with the more shocking ones (the ambulance scene screams to mind).

Too many characters walk in and out of this story, which is the one negative I can think of, on the whole; but it's oddly satisfying to watch them go. The real surprise here is, in such a whacked-out movie, there's actually a well-handled theme of a mother protecting her young. I can definitely appreciate this.

I had the benefit of a like-minded audience in the theater, and it's entirely possible that returns will diminish on future rewatches. But in the here-and-now, I enjoyed this quite a bit.

Side note: R. I. P., Ray Liotta.

Come for the "Cocaine" ...stay for the "Bear." I am certain this will be a HUGE hit. They may already be working on sequels. Allow me to suggest:

• Cocaine Bear 2: Mushroom Bear (Trippin' on psilocybin)
• Cocaine Bear 3: Molly Bear (Luvs everybody)
• Cocaine Bear 4: Cannabis Bear (Uncontrollable munchies)
• Cocaine Bear 5: Viagra Bear (self-explanatory)

The title pretty much tells you what kind of movie to expect and delivers as promised. If you expect too much ...then you may be disappointed, but I don't think anyone who is going to see this film is expecting an Oscar-worthy meaningful masterpiece. Yeah, I guess the movie could have been better (definitely not a 10-star film), but compared to other things in this category; I think it's above average and effort was made to produce something entertaining.

I predict the "Cocaine Bear" films will become quite a successful franchise. I'm actually kicking myself right now and thinking: "Why didn't I come up with this first?!"