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I wish I could tell you the plot of this movie but it failed to have one. I can't believe I watched it all the way through. It garnered about 2 laughs from me. It had too much crude humor that left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Not to mention the bathroom jokes. Larry, played by Larry, is a cop(of sorts?) thinking that Madeleine(Ivana) is kidnapped when she is actually in the witness protection program. Craziness ensues and I can't say much else. It was hard to follow-or maybe it was because I kept zoning out during the movie. I love slapstick but I think I'll stick to Jim Varney's slapstick humor. There seems to be some similarity between the two comedians. The hat, the accent, the clothes(coincidence?) and the fact that they both did stand up and went to movies though Varney was a whole lot better. Let's just hope Larry doesn't start branching out into commercials. I say, stick with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, which I think works best for Larry and please stop making movies. I'm afraid to watch the other movies that Larry has made. But, I watched this movie, trying to give it the benefit of the doubt. I did have an open mind, but I just couldn't like it.

Larry the Cable Guy (Daniel Lawrence Whitney) is an excruciatingly funny stand-up comedian. He knows how to hit a mark. It's obvious he's disciplined enough to fulfill all the requirements of doing a workmanlike job in front of a camera.

Yet.

Doing a movie with this level of scripted awfulness is a witless and heartless crime. Why is stupid acceptable? Why waste "Larry?"

Because there are enough lunkheads who will pay from seven to ten bucks to see this trash in a theatre (we thought we'd take a chance on it, using a Netflix gift membership, so it wouldn't cost us anything).

Witless was the perfect adjective.

And no amount of Jenny McCarthy's skin could make this movie any better.

Which was not very. I didn't want to watch this movie. I mean after Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector and Delta Farce, I nearly ripped my cousin apart for dragging me to see them. But I wanted to see a movie and this was just about the only thing that I had not already seen. I had to have a little hope since I'm a big Blue Collar fan. But, Witless Protection was packed with not-so-funny jokes and idiotic situations that only a certain buck-toothed, slovenly demographic will laugh at. If you were insulted by the preceding sentence, then this movie isn't for you either as it is offensive itself.

Jenny McCarthy is fun to look at. But that doesn't makes up for the rest of this "movie" in no way whatsoever. Stick to animated movies, Larry.

1/10

Oh, man did I get done watching "Witless Protection" and let me tell you what, it's a piece of crap! I don't understand why Larry The Cable Guy continues to make crappy movies that nobody cares to watch unless you're a redneck or a total idiot. God, helps us if you're up there not playing poker.

I don't know where to begin.

Basically in "Witless Protection" Larry the Cable Guy plays a law enforcer wannabe who's seen too many programs of "Cops" and other police shows in thinking he can be a law enforcer in which he's nothing but one big joke to the community. He ends up kidnapping a foreign babe who's an actual witness and not someone kidnapped.

Larry The Cable Guy is not even cool enough to have his own sitcom or even start his pathetic movie line up of films from "Health Inspector" to "Delta Farce" and they failed more times than films that became cult classics. This film nor will any film featuring Larry the Cable Guy in live action movies will ever be classics, even when he's dead, they'll be burning in the bonfires.

The Good: Nothing! The OK: Jenny McCarthy's hot body.

The Not: EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FILM SUCKS!!! Overall, I have better movies to watch. This wasn't even my fault in watching this movie, it was my dad's fault and he even fell asleep where I just walked away and did something else.

This is one of those slight-of-hand smart comedies, which explains why its target audience hated it so much. A bit too intellectual for them.

A lot of the stuff involves dumb gags, silly (and easily seen over-the-top) stereotypes, and the acting is not going to win any awards for comedy or otherwise. But it is all wound up into an enjoyable story and directed well enough that even Eric Roberts is able to handle his role. It also has enough complexity and subtlety to keep it interesting (provided you're able to make it through the first 10 minutes, which really is bad, but does still tie into the story).

Maybe the problem is that the target audience can't handle the memory required to get past the first 10 minutes.