Furia de titanes

I, being a huge fan of the original, was probably more excited to see this movie than anyone. And in 3-D no less. So...I walk into the theater with my 3-D glasses on my head, holding my $5 popcorn and get ready to watch my favorite childhood movie and...and...and...oh no. Oh no. This is awful. I sat through the movie wondering why I don't care about any of these characters. On top of that, I'm wondering why I spent the extra money to see it in 3-D. The best 3-D effects came during the opening credits. Other than that, I could have thrown the glasses away. Now I know why James Cameron is not a big fan of making films 3-D after the fact. To make a long story short, I was incredibly disappointed. I would not recommend this movie to anyone. Go see the original "Clash of the Titans" if you want to lose yourself in a good movie. After seeing this one all I could think of was "oh how the mighty titans have fallen."

Clash of the Titans, from the title alone, made many promises. We expect to see many monsters of Ancient Greece, and we expect them to do battle, alongside humans and the Gods. We expect many many epic battles, lots and lots of CGI and appropriately over the top performances to go with them, but mostly, we want the monsters. While Clash delivers on some level for each of these promises, it surprisingly really lacks in the monsters department.

It must be said as fair warning, you do not get to see Kraken VS Hydra or anything like that in Clash of the Titans. The action is centered squarely around demigod Perseus, who for our purposes is basically a man secreting badass. After Hades threatens to unleash the Kraken on the city of Argos, Perseus and a group of soldiers go in search of a way to kill the Kraken, encountering many perils along the way.

The problem is its always Perseus and the soldiers who end up fighting the monsters. I'm sure I'm not the only one who expected the beasts to fight one another at some, mythology be damned (not like its particularly close to the myths anyways). Only four real combat beasts emerge anyways: the Kraken, Medusa, a mutated Acrisius and some random giant scorpions. Not even the Gods get to fight much, despite the much-hinted battle between Zeus and Hades.

The Kraken in particular really should've had a battle with another beast thrown in, and its use seems like a wasted opportunity. The scorpion battle is quite exciting, though is broken up as its really four fights with different scorpions simultaneously. The Medusa sequence is easily the best of the film, as although we know from a plot perspective Perseus can't die, the fate of the group of soldiers is considerably less clear. It all makes for a very tense and rewarding sequence, somewhat hindered by the surprisingly poor CG on the Medusa character model. Shame, as the rest of the monsters are quite good looking.

The cast is quite good on paper, but it doesn't work as well as expected. Worthington is a suitable lead, but I see him heading to Stallone-esquire B-movies quickly if he doesn't find more interesting characters. Liam Neeson is fairly underused, and aside from the "Release the Kraken" line, never gets any moments. Ralph Fiennes is the biggest disappointment as Hades, spending far too much of the time whispering like a bad Sith impersonation than being actually menacing. The standout is easily Mad Mikkelson as the leader of the soldiers. While not a terribly meaty role, he has more than enough charisma to be much more interesting than Perseus himself.

Clash is definitely not a waste of a matinée ticket, and I felt I got almost what I expected. But I know it could've been more, and it seemed to be purposely saving certain creatures for a sequel. Its solid fun, but hardly the must-see some might think from the trailers.

I've never seen the 1981 original version of Clash of the Titans. I wasn't originally planning on seeing this new updated version either. Going by the previews, this looked like nothing more than a CGI-fest...which is what it pretty much ended up being. To quote Sam Worthington from various interviews, it's basically him "in a skirt with a rubber sword, killing monsters". If you're expecting anything more than that, then yes, you will probably be disappointed.

Some of the cast manage to make the most of what they're given to work with. Having not seen Sam Worthington in anything prior to this film (except Terminator Salvation), I don't really have anything to compare his acting to. He was good in Terminator Salvation and he's good in this as well (despite the occasional slip-up of his accent). He serves his purpose as Perseus, playing the action hero well enough. His interaction with the humans who accompany him on his journey is probably the most entertaining part of the film. Mads Mikkelsen, who was a memorable villain in Casino Royale, actually gets to play a fairly decent good guy in this film (Draco). Sure, it's the role of the typical grumpy guy (who's reluctant to follow the "saviour" and is a bit of a bully) teaching the hero how to fight and who eventually comes around to respecting the hero and ending up on good terms with him...but Mads manages to make his role a bit more than a cardboard cutout, thankfully. The other men who accompany Perseus aren't too bad either (they do provide a bit of humour), but they're not given much character development at all. Actually, there's very little development for any of the characters.

As far as the gods are concerned, they're basically just a bunch of folk who stand around in Cloud City (I mean Olympus) and talk. Liam Neeson isn't given a whole lot to work with as Zeus (shining in his silver armour as brightly as Marlon Brando did in the original Superman movie wearing his tinfoil costume). Ralph Fiennes, while good, is kind of irritating with his raspy voice as Hades (though, thankfully, that goes away by the end). The rest of the gods have jack squat to do or say.

I really didn't like Jason Flemyng's satyr character. Alexa Davalos pretty much just plays the damsel in distress in the movie and leaves very little impression as Andromeda. Gemma Arterton (as Io), however, proves to be the most successful female character in the movie. As a sort of angel on Perseus's shoulder, she guides him, teaches him and actually proves *useful*. Her and Worthington work well together/have good chemistry and I enjoyed watching the two of them share scenes. I was happy with how they ended up in the film.

As for the FX, the previews basically give it all away (Clash of the CGI might have been more befitting a title for the film). Perseus fights giant scorpions, Perseus fights the Kraken and Perseus fights Medusa. As large-scale as the Kraken was, I personally enjoyed Medusa more. The fight with her proved to be the most interesting of the many fights in the film. I liked the 'look'/design for her and I also really enjoyed Pegasus, the flying horse.

I'll just come right out and say it: the movie has many a flaw. The story isn't great, the pace is off, the writing is slapdash and most of the dialogue is sketchy at best. While the movie does try to get across a message, it comes through in a somewhat haphazard sort of way. Having said that, if you go into this film not expecting much more than a Monster Mash of the Titans...then hopefully it should prove to be entertaining enough.

Crap of the Titans? Not quite. But at the same time, it's kind of forgettable. As Worthington describes it, it's a "popcorn flick". Take from that what you will.

"Clash of the Titans" (2010) provided everything its cover image and trailer promise, except for the part about authentic Greek Mythology, but if you can get past that you'll have a good time. The draw of the film is fast paced, adrenaline pumping action, a lot of tough guys & gals who never smile, and really cool monsters and special effects for 2010.

It's rated PG-13 for some violence and gore, and there is no sexuality, nudity or profanity (except 1 awesome use of the word b*tch). The "violence and gore" is shot very fast, so even though it depicts people being ripped in half & such, it's not quite as disturbing as, say, a Quentin Tarantino film where you watch a guy slowly bleed to death for 15 mins. In other words, this is good stuff to watch with your teenage kids or puritanical parents, either way.

There are some big names on the cast, and all performances were solid, but nothing really stood out as remarkable. That is to be expected in a fast paced film. But I would have preferred a powerful monologue or two just to use the talent to its full potential. I will say Ralph Fiennes did a chillingly original portrayal of "Hades", making him to be a twisted, limping, bitter wretch who still possessed terrifying power and fury. He is definitely my favorite part of the production.

Now on to the bad, which others have covered in detail so I'll just graze over. If you think you can study for your Classical Literature exam by watching this, you're going to get flunked all the way back to James Whale's 1931 "Frankenstein" (the most successful yet inaccurate adaptation of literature ever). Different characters in mythology seem to have been transposed, juxtaposed and just plain posed for the sake of this 2010 story. The biggest liberty is that here our hero Perseus is fighting against the gods when the original literature shows that he was tremendously helped by the gods by being given special weapons and gifts. In this film he is given those same gifts which he indignantly refuses but then later sheepishly accepts them because they'll save his life. I'm not sure if that was meant to be hypocritical, ironic, or just a sloppy oversight in the screenplay, but it's worth noting. Just what exactly is this film saying below the surface? That humans have outgrown gods? Or that we ultimately still need gods?

But for the most part, this gives us a decent taste of Greek Mythology which was truly the origin of the timeless scifi/fantasy/horror genre thousands of years ago. Chances are, most people will simply enjoy this movie for its action, fantasy and special effects. For that, yes, it delivers. But for literary accuracy... well I would be terrified to approach any literature teacher with the mere mention of this movie. That teacher would kick my Assaracus out of school and I'd be crying all the way Homer.

Ah, the pre-summer action movie. Admittedly, due to word of mouth from those who had attended earlier screenings of the film, my expectations for Clash of the Titans were fairly low. On top of that, many of the initial casting choices appeared to be somewhat suspect. So, what's my verdict? Well, I didn't hate it…

The plot of Titans is extremely straightforward – practically to a fault. Often, the film acts as though it's in a hurry, attempting to get from one action sequence to the next as quickly as possible. The scenes that occur in between each of these battles ultimately amount to nothing more than brief segments of exposition delivered by Perseus' "guardian angel" of sorts, Io (Gemma Arterton). So, while the film never really drags, it feels very soulless.

And while we're on the subject of these action sequences, none of them end up being particularly memorable. About half of them are so frenetic to the point where they're almost disorienting - honestly, I'm glad that the 3D screenings were sold out this time 'round. On top of that, there's virtually no character development outside of Worthington's character (and even he isn't all that likable), so I never really cared about the outcome of these action sequences either. Also, as I mentioned earlier, my biggest fear with Titans was in regards to the acting, and thankfully, most of the cast do what's expected of them. Neeson's Zeus aside, none of the performances truly stand out, but they're nothing cringe-worthy either.

Ultimately, Clash of the Titans ends up being a forgettable piece of entertainment with a couple of gaping plot holes, hit-or-miss action sequences, and performances that fail to leave much of an impression. It's not horrible – just hollow.