Comando Pitón

Where as the original "Python" was somewhat entertaning in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way, this made-for-cable-TV sequel fails on all levels.

"Python 2" is a horrible movie with nearly no relation to the original. A group of CIA thugs try to capture a large python and transport away for "Civilian Safety".

The lead actors (one of whom is played by Dana Ashbrook of "Twin Peaks") have zero chemistry together. The effects look very cheesy.

And the worst offense of all? William Zabka's returning character suffers the worst kind of character assasination. He is no longer portrayed as the good guy's (if bumbling) older brother small town cop, but is now the movie's main human bad guy. Shady right from the beginning, I was even uncertain this was the same character from the original...

I'm not saying that this "Python" franchise is the best... but at least if you are going to the trouble of bringing back a surviving character from the previous entry, don't alienate your fanbase and do a character swerve.

"Python 2" has no bite.

Someone with Science Fiction clout, but no talent, in TV programming has decided that giant snakes, among the slowest creatures on earth, make frightening movie monsters. Well they don't. I dearly love monster movies, but these snake pictures are simply useless. This one follows the really awful, 'en vogue formula to the hilt, and straight down the slithery slope of utter ennui. In my estimation these "lighter than air, faster than greased pigs" reptiles are utterly without any redeeming "monster" qualities.

The snakes are almost incidental to the film. They are so badly portrayed as to have no personality, and absolutely no sense of dread about them. They are mechanical vehicles of the plot, which is terminally boring from the first scene. The only character I even cared about was the beautiful Russian redhead, and that's just because she is so gorgeous to watch. It seems that the director just didn't know how to portray people with any sense of timing or reality. The characters, and the acting, quickly fell apart under vague and vapid direction. The plot was never in attendance.

The film seemed to drag on forever as inept warriors pointed their fancy guns into dark corners, and blasted away at cartoon snakes to no discernable avail. The snakes moved much faster than the action. I felt that the director was simply trying to figure out how to prolong this mess long enough to eke out the requisite 90 minutes, sans commercials. It didn't work. Avoid this mess unless you are addicted to lovely redheads.

I was puzzled by the credits being mostly Russian names. Then I realized this was a movie set in Russia that actually WAS shot in Russia!

So I say, cut it some slack. A stray thought-- the actors playing soldiers in the film probably WERE former members of the Red Army! They certainly had the moves. And the CGI serpents are pretty dang good! I was impressed by a couple of sequences. In one, the snake's underside reflects the light of the flamethrower being used (ineffectually) against it. The other nicely-done sequence is lifted from Gandalf's "death" in LotR: TFotR, with a serpent playing the Balrog role.

Fugitive ex-baseball star and his Russian bride find themselves the unwitting pawns in a CIA-led mission to recover a giant, highly agile python that has been unintentionally released from its cargo hold by Chetynan rebels, and is now on the prowl at a Soviet military base.

Generally, the acting is either very pedestrian, or totally over the top, with stereotypical characterisations of mobsters, mercenaries and military types, all of whom attempt to exude too much sentiment for the depth of their characters. The film largely takes place on a military base, in which, a supposedly crack team of commandos hunts down and attempts to capture the giant reptile, with catastrophic results for most concerned. It's formula 'catch and kill' stuff, and plays out like a video game. Only Zabka's mildly tongue-in-cheek performance offers any hint of talent, his presence the fragile pedigree to "Python", although despite, ostensibly, playing the same character, the persona are vastly different. Mackinnon's accent is painfully erratic, with an obvious Australian drawl surfacing in moments of despair, while perennial Russian-mafia typecast Binev, is becoming something of a staple in these types of movies, making a virtual 'guest' appearance as a Russian-esque mobster.

The title reptile is even less convincing than in "Python", the CGI effects so blurry and poorly scaled, that the occasional interaction with a cast member is laughably absurd. Corny sets and cheap-looking outdoor staging is soon surpassed as the film takes up permanent residence on a fictitious military base, thus descending into a cat and mouse game with the snake, while stealth fighters prepare to raze the facility, to silence all witnesses. In spite of the competing threats, there's little, if any suspense, and a poorly executed climax that looks anything but the feared demolition that was to have taken place, to 'neutralise the situation', or 'go black' in the apparent CIA-speak oft employed throughout the picture by Zabka.

Overall, if you like big snake movies, then you may be moderately satisfied with this basic offering; on the other hand, if you're more discerning, say, "Anaconda" rather than "Python", then you're unlikely to find it here.

Somewhere in Russia an American officer has been tasked to lead some Russian soldiers on a secret mission to capture an 80 foot snake that was created by American scientists and has gotten loose near the Ural Mountains. Not long afterward, the officer, "Colonel Jefferson" (Marcus Aurelius) accomplishes his assigned task and puts the snake aboard an American cargo plane heading for the United States. Unfortunately, some Chechen rebels mistake the plane for a Russian one and shoot it down. This action alerts a Russian army unity nearby who then attack the rebels and subsequently take the mysterious container back to a nearby base. Curious as to what is inside they open it. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that I was somewhat surprised by the results. For starters, I expected a movie replete with mindless action and special effects with no regard to anything resembling an in-depth plot or competent acting of any kind. Yet, while there was plenty of mindless action, rather poor special effects, and a predictable plot, I didn't think the acting was necessarily that bad at all. As a matter of fact, I kind of liked the performances of William Zabka (as the CIA agent, "Greg Larsen") and Simmone MacKinnon ("Nadia"). However, having said that, I don't believe this movie was great-or even good-by any means. It simply exceeded my expectations to a certain extent and for that reason I have rated it accordingly. Slightly below average.