Columbo: Grand Deceptions

One of the most mediocre of all 68 Columbo episodes, as nearly every aspect thereof is unimaginative and boring. The killer is an utterly uninteresting character, who cannot arouse an ounce of sympathy for himself since he is not only a coldblooded murderer, but also one who betrays both his handicapped boss (a decorated war hero) and the woman he is having an affair with. He is also a mediocre and monotonous actor, who cannot make his role exciting in any way. The woman in the story is also played by an average actress who cannot arouse much interest in her character. There is almost none of the typical humor by or about Columbo. The one comment about his car falls flat; when Columbo happens on a group of people shaking funny cans on the floor it is not allowed to develop into anything; there is nothing about his dog or raincoat; and not one person mistakes him for anything but an ordinary detective. The murder plan is not particularly brilliant, and the alibi is simple and rather unimaginative. Furthermore, Columbo's proof that the alibi does not really exist is not nearly as foolproof as he makes it sound. Plus, the manner in which the false alibi was achieved, is highly unrealistic, and no explanation is given as to how a company would make such a mistake. Finally, there is hardly a single good line in a 90- minute episode of a series that is usually loaded with great lines. Did I leave out any other weak points?

GRAND DECEPTIONS is one of the earliest of the comeback Columbo episodes, following on from the superior SEX AND THE MARRIED DETECTIVE. This one's a little dry and stilted for a Columbo episode, not to mention that the military setting is overly familiar from earlier and better instalments (like BY DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT).

The murder is a typical one with a military angle, but it takes forever to get going and about half an hour of screen time has passed until we get to the meat of the detective investigation. Although the running time overall is only an hour and a half, this story feels very slow and it's a little too serious for its own good; there's no goofiness here, and even though Columbo's dog makes a cameo, he doesn't get to do much.

Falk is on fine fettle, but I find that Columbo is only as good as his opponents, and Robert Foxworth as the guest villain is a bit of a bore, far too straight-laced to make an impact. Andy Romano (ERASER) as the victim is much better, as Stephen Elliott playing the old-time general. But, in the end, GRAND DECEPTIONS is a very ordinary and average-feeling Columbo story, with a completely spurious ending, and certainly not one to remember.

In this Columbo story our persistent LAPD detective moves among the elite of what is called the military industrial complex. I wonder how the story might be handled today given the history of the paramilitary private organizations in the past quarter of a century. Remember the date of this episode was 1989 before Desert Storm.

Robert Foxworth who usually plays hard bitten villains is at his worst here in this story. He's a retired army colonel who works for this paramilitary type of outfit. One part of it is a think tank, a second part is paramilitary training for would be soldiers of fortune. A third involves some illegal activities that Foxworth wants no one, especially retired war hero General Stephen Elliott who is the chairman of the board of the place to know about.

Which when his Sergeant Major Andy Romano threatens to spill the beans he kills him and then disguises the death to look like a training accident.

Best scene is when Columbo answers Foxworth's question of when did he start suspecting him. The answer is a pip and it total keeping with the characters of both men.

Second best scene is Columbo interviewing some of the recruits for this paramilitary training. What specimens they are.

Foxworth should have gotten away with it, see what trips him up.

Columbo always likes to get his man or woman. This time, it's Robert Foxworth who plays a military man. Sam Wanamaker better known and respected for his role in rebuilding the Shakespeare Globe Theater on the Thames in London, England returns to direct a Columbo. He is a veteran director and it shows. Of course, I think it could have been better. The writing was a bit weaker than most and I think it could have been a lot better in the acting department but I love Columbo and I have seen almost all of them many times. I think even the casting would have been better besides just Falk and Foxworth in the roles but I'll take Columbo with the good, the bad, the ugly, and sometimes brilliant episodes.

PLOT: Col. Brailie (Robert Foxworth) runs a military think tank where he commits fraud against the wheelchair-bound owner, a famous retired general (Stephen Elliott). Brailie murders a blackmailing investigator (Andy Romano) and makes his death look like a military-games accident.

COMMENTARY: This one has always ranked high on my list of favorites of the latter-day series. Some people don't like it because of the quasi-military setting and Foxworth's supposedly wooden portrayal. But he's no more wooden than Gene Barry in the very first Columbo flick, "Prescription: Murder" (1968). Both roles called for an arrogant, calm, overconfident and inexpressive person.

Janet Eilber plays the general's much younger wife and her character is genuinely winsome and noble, yet she's taken a foolish path and feels guilty about it. This all leads to a convincing and potent sequence.

Look for Lee Arenberg in an amusing bit part.

GRADE: A-/B+