Frankenstein '80

I was only vaguely familiar with this title starring "Euro-Cult" stalwart (and former muscle-man) Gordon Mitchell – especially since I had already watched him dealing with this popular horror figure (albeit in a supporting part and with its original Gothic setting intact) in the notoriously bad FRANKENSTEIN'S CASTLE OF FREAKS (1974)! Anyway, I actually found this – at the proverbial eleventh hour – on "You Tube" in time for a mini-Frankenstein marathon which I have just concluded. Interestingly, this forms the middle part of an unrelated trilogy (also because they emanated from different countries!) involving the Mary Shelley creation – all of which tried to bring the monster into our modern age (with varying degrees of success) by appending a future decade to the name: hence the American FRANKENSTEIN – 1970 was made in 1958(!), the Italian film under review precedes the inferred date by 8 years, while that for the 1990s (whose viewing came hard on the heels of this one) emerged from France in 1984!

Truth be told, the lowly rating for this one is not indicative of the lack of ideas put on the table along the way but rather the extremely dull handling (the dreary cheapo look does not help), indifferent performances (the other familiar face here was that of hero John Richardson) and a thoroughly listless pace (the reasons for which are given later on)! In fact, this is the first rendition of the much-filmed tale where the monster's grafts are rejected and are, therefore, in constant need of replenishment (a' la EYES WITHOUT A FACE [1960]), as well as one of only a few that address his libido (making him something of a Jack The Ripper-like serial killer!)…though, in all probability, this was done in order to up the sex'n'gore ante (cue an awful lot of padding throughout)!

Incidentally, I suspect that the makers of this film were inspired by the recently-watched FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1958) – since Mitchell here is the assistant of a clinic director, whose precious fluid he steals for his own ends via the experiments he conducts inside a secret lab (that connects to both his office and his home)! By the way, it felt not a little awkward to have no one bat an eyelid at the mention of his name (which he did not even bother to hide as in that earlier picture)! In the end, creature turns on creator, hero saves (and hitches up with) Frankenstein's niece, the monster then expires bloodily from a fried brain…and, for no very good reason, we close on a shot of the Police Chief finally getting his self-negated nicotine fix at long last!

Frankenstein '80 (1972)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Italian horror film has a nice scientist creating a formula that will allow organs to have a better rate at living in a new body but the evil Dr. Frankenstein steals it so that he can create a human who turns out to be a sexual predator who goes on a killing rampage. If you like goofy, gory and sex filled Italian horror films then you'll probably enjoy this one for some mindless entertainment. The story is pretty stupid and familiar but I liked the added touches of gore and sex. The monster has a thing for beautiful women so this leads to several nudity filled scenes with the monster attacking women both sexually and physically. The film drags in certain areas and goes on a bit too long but overall exploitation freaks should enjoy it.

Trashy, sleazy, campy, exploitative and – of course – extremely pointless Italian version of the classic Frankenstein story. It's a variation on the traditional Mary Shelley tale, with some deranged additional ideas and awkward erotic undertones. The Italians tried to achieve this sort of concept before already with "Lady Frankenstein" and admittedly that was a much better and more memorable film than this cheap and amateurish attempt at making a motion picture. But still, that doesn't mean this piece of junk isn't good entertainment. The plot actually isn't too bad. Dr. Schwarz (which, I'm sure, is German slang for Dr. Penis) just invented a breakthrough serum that prevents donor organs from getting rejected by the patient's body after a transplant. This happens to be exactly what his vicious colleague Dr. Frankenstein needs in order to fix up his pet monster Mosaic. The serum disappears from Dr. Schwarz' laboratory and corpses start to pile up as Mosaic goes out on nightly strolls. The local police commissioner forbids his men to smoke until the case is solved (!) and another guy – a reporter who assigns himself private investigator – search for the serum to save his dying sister. "Frankenstein 80" is a hilariously amusing film, but probably not like its creators intended it. Ferdinando De Leone (although I suspect it was actually Fernando Di Leo; a prominent name in the Italian horror industry) and director Mario Mancini penned down a truly ludicrous script with the most one-dimensional character imaginable, absurd plot twists and the utmost imbecilic dialogs ever. Technically speaking, this is a laughably inept production as well. More than three quarters of the film is poorly lit, the make-up effects clearly cost less than a dollar and the editing appeared to have been done with a blending machine. The pacing is unspeakably uneven! The entire story is pretty much told after an hour already, but then still comes a lot of tedious filler-footage, like an overlong and dull striptease act, a full formula one race and even the complete development of a romance. The monster stumbles around until he literally passes his due date, which is interesting but not very thrilling.

Sometimes you need a film like this: plenty of gore, some boobs, no pretensions whatsoever, stupid ending. Frankenstien '80 (why the '80?) sets out to entertain your brain stem and nothing else, and succeeds admirably. Those seeking a more cerebral film or even a film with any redeeming qualities whatsoever should probably avoid this one.

It's amazing how much time you save in your Frankenstien movie if the monster in question is already up and rampaging when the film starts. There's no scrambling about for body parts here. When the film starts, the monster's out getting his own body parts! That's a nice pro-active approach, you've got to admit, but his creator, Gordon 'Frankenstien' Mitchell, doesn't really agree with this activity. His method is much better – he steals body parts from corpses in his morgue at the hospital, and takes them to his secret laboratory, hidden behind a book shelf in the morgue. Also, he's just stolen a serum from a surgeon that might stop his monster rejecting all those body parts.

Gordon's in a bit of trouble, mind. That serum was intended for the sister of a nosey reporter who was lined up for a heart transplant, and now she's dead, the cops are all over the place, and the reporter is on his trail! Add to that the unintended results of a knacker transplant on the monster (a knacker transplant! Brilliant!) and you've got a good set up for a horny guy who looks like a zombified Mussolini to go on a guts and boobs fest. You've got the monster trying it on with some hookers, the monster trying it on with a stripper, and the monster trying it on with his creator's daughter. Stupid? Awww yeah. Great? You bet!

Featuring gut fondling, heads in fridges, a strip tease act, Gordon Mitchell's face and a rather unwholesome tone about the film that you only find in Italian cinema. Love that abrupt ending too!

I can only wonder what Mary Shelley would have made of Frankenstein '80, one of the trashier movies to appropriate her classic literary creation for its own ends. Directed by Mario Mancini, this cheesy, sleazy piece of Italian schlock sees Dr. Otto Frankenstein (Gordon Mitchell) stealing a special serum that prevents organ transplant rejection, using it in the creation of a patchwork monster called Mosaic (Xiro Papas), who proceeds to not just kill beautiful women, but rape them too (in an early scene, we see Frankenstein preparing a nice set of gonads for his creature—how thoughtful of him).

With a rampant and very randy monster, there's certainly no shortage of sex and violence in this tasteless and often rather camp horror, but as delightfully deviant as it all sounds, Frankenstein '80 actually manages to be a rather dreary affair for much of the time, thanks to uneven pacing, lifeless performances, a weak script that dwells far too much on the investigative activities of a reporter called Karl (John Richardson), and a lack of decent gore: a lot of the killings are frustratingly bloodless, the surgical scenes are shot from a low angle so as to conceal the fact that Mitchell is pulling the organs from a tray hidden behind the body, and in one particularly inept scene, in which a victim has his head bashed against a wall, the ruptured bag' that provides the squirt of blood can clearly be seen attached to the actor's forehead. Only a brief shot of a severed head in a fridge genuinely delivers the grisly goods.

Thankfully, there is quite a bit of welcome nudity from a bevy of busty women to help alleviate some of the tedium, including a lengthy strip-tease routine that does nothing to advance the plot; but even with all of the bare female flesh on display, Frankenstein '80 is a tough watch, the last half an hour of obvious padding leading up to the monster's inevitable demise being particularly dull.