Kill 'Em All

Unfortunately, this has got to be one of Van Dammes worst films. It looks like after all those years of hard partying sure has caught up to him in 2017 as he looked pretty miserable in this. This makes Universal Soldier II look golden. The trailer looked like it would of been a cheesy, so bad it's good 90's throwback action film, but it was just plain bad. It did have a decent supporting cast and a couple of OK action scenes and it was a bit better than say Steven Seagal's stuff, but that isn't saying much. Overall, it's a shame this couldn't have been at least half decent considering Van Damme as of late seemed to have been doing better projects like his show - "Jean Claude Van Johnson". But with a movie like "Kill Em All" his action career doing movies like he used to are long and gone.

3/10

The worst JCVD movie I've seen and that's saying something. Most of his movies a poorly written and definitely not Oscar worthy but watchable because of the action he brings to the screen. Not this one, he looks old and miserable in this effort and I only gave it a 1 because its not possible to give any less.

Chop chop, punch kick, repeat. Tumble, roll bang bang. Bad guys with bad aim. Plot summary: Revenge killing....bad guys deserved it. Nudity: None Violence: Oh yeah Love scene: could have used one Body count: 22 counting the guy in ER from a heart attack unrelated to the blood bath. Shots fired from same pistol without reloading: 54 Moral of the story: Kill them all

Terrible acting from a poor cast following possibly the worst script of any action film (and that's saying a lot). It's just a really bad film. The acting is genuinely awful but that is largely down to cringeworthy writing. The plot has a deep background and it seems to have twists and monumental moments in parts, but these are unrecognisable as you're too far gone to even consider trying to follow what on earth is going on.

The sad thing is JCVD does nothing wrong, plus it seems that this film at least had a half decent budget. Even the choreography for the fights are bad, if you're hiring JCVD the least you need to do is utilise his martial arts abilities. Instead there's nothing special as he fights naff characters.

The reason I give this 3 is because it is actually a film, there is a (poor) beginning, leading to (an even worse) middle, and (equally terrible) ending (complete with someone taking off a wig (that looks like real hair) to reveal her natural hair (which is quite clearly a wig)). There is some semblance of a plot there, and really I feel bad for JCVD for being associated with this when he was given no chance of improving it.

Jean Claude Van Damme is getting old, so he needs to take it easy these days with the action scenes. Here he shares the action with Autumn Reeser.

Van Damme plays Philip who ends up wounded at a hospital in America. Reeser plays Suzanne, an ER nurse who is patching him up when a bunch of European bad guys arrive and cause mayhem. Philip ends up saving Suzannne's life instead.

The film is told in flashback as Suzanne is being interrogated by two FBI agents. You will quickly gather that the film has an unreliable narrator and you can kind of guess the twist in The Usual Suspects kind of way.

The film wants to make some kind of statement about the break up of the former Yugoslavia, I thought the time span was all over the place.