Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf

For some odd reason I keep returning to movies like this, even though you know already that it is 99% likely going to be another stinker. And this whole genre is just loaded with questionable additions that outdo each other in one way or another.

But still, every now and then there are some of these movies that turn out to be entertaining and funny to watch. "Sharktopus vs Whalewolf", however, just wasn't one of those movies.

With movies such as "Sharktopus vs Whalewolf" you already know that you will most likely be in for some questionable CGI and special effects. But "Sharktopus vs Whalewolf" was not even trying. The CGI effects in this movie were among the top of most laughable and poor CGI effects that I have seen in this genre of movies.

The story in "Sharktopus vs Whalewolf" was also among some of the more outrageous and laughable of story lines, even for this particularly unique genre of movies. Why? Well, because it seemed like the writers weren't even trying to be serious.

"Sharktopus vs Whalewolf" is also filled with lame attempts at incorporating comedy in the movie; attempts which really failed at every aspect. And the movie suffered from that.

Catherine Oxenberg has the worst fake German accent ever and puts on one of the worst acting performances in the history of low budget creature features. But that might actually be one of the selling points to the movie, and why you should check it out. Trust me, it is worth watching, because it is bad on an epic scale.

Oh, and there was one scene where I counted 31 shots being fired from a handgun. That was just impressive. So at least there was something impressive to be seen in "Sharktopus vs Whalewolf".

A funeral party gets eaten by Sharktopus. Drunken captain Ray Brady (Casper Van Dien) gets taken to jail. Dr. Elsa Reinhardt (Catherine Oxenberg) continues her anti-aging experiments. She mixes the genes of a killer whale and a wolf. The resulting Whalewolf starts causing chaos.

Who the hell dumps a whole coffin into the sea? Nobody. I get the attempt to camp it up. Instead of a coffin, they could wrap up a body and place a funny flag on top. Oxenberg with booby nurse is definitely going full camp and I appreciate that. I don't think Casper Van Dien is good although he tries after the voodoo. I am not sure about the voodoo. It has a bit of camp element, but not camp enough. It gets uncomfortable at times. This franchise needs to go full camp, but they don't always get there.

Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf (2015)

** (out of 4)

The drunken boat captain Ray (Casper Van Dien) is thrown into jail after a woman on his boat is killed by the sharktopus. While this is going on, mad scientist Dr. Reinhardt (Catherine Oxenberg) is experimenting with DNA, which leads to the whalewolf character. Soon more dead bodies are piling up while the two large monsters battle one another.

This is the third film in the SHARKTOPUS series and it's certainly the best. I think what makes this one work is that the film gives a lot of effort in trying to be funny and campy. The first two films in the series as well as many of these SyFy movies seem to think that if you purposely make a movie bad then it's going to be entertaining. That's not the case and that's why so many of them fail. This one here is obviously silly and over- the-top but the film doesn't play it dumb and instead comes up with a few clever jokes that actually work.

The highlight of the film is certainly the Oxenberg character as the actress is clearly having a blast playing the mad German scientist. Even funnier is a sequence where her big-breasted assistant runs around in slow motion with her things juggling. This here is pure Roger Corman sexism at its finest. Van Dien is good enough in his role and there's no doubt that he too appears to be having fun. Akari Endo is also good in her supporting role. As you'd expect, there's quite a bit of fake looking blood as various body parts are eaten by the two main characters.

SHARKTOPUS VS. WHALEWOLF is pretty good in its own way so if you're a fan of these types of movies then you're bound to get a few laughs out of it.

I messed up again and watched the 3rd movie in a series first. It probably doesn't matter except that I have nothing to compare it to. This is by far the best bad shark movie I have seen so far. The story was good and it was actually funny. The only thing I didn't like was that people immediately recognized it as a whalewolf. If I didn't know the name of the movie I would never have been able to guess at what it was. It has a shark fin, lol. I might have called it sharkdog. Watch it.

The first Sharktopus was pretty bad but was an alright diversion. The second movie Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda was a big disappointment, being twice as stupid to the point it was too much and with none of the previous movie's fun. Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf is the best of the three to me, it isn't great and execution is patchy but generally there are things that it does better than the previous two.

Generally, Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf is the best-looking of the three. The scenery is lovely, and photography and editing are tighter than before. The score is the quirkiest, the most suspenseful and fitting of the series, while the movie clearly knows what it wants to be (which is campy fun) and doesn't overdo it to the point of being dull and who it's aiming at (which I didn't get so much with the previous two) and there are some clever jokes in the script. The final fight is pretty exciting if a bit short, and the Sharktopus is the best-designed and least-fake-looking of the series and is pretty cool and menacing in personality whereas it was just goofy in the previous two. Casper Van Dien clearly has fun and tries to inject some tragedy, while Akari Endo is winning too.

Catherine Oxenberg however is wildly over-the-top, the most over-the-top parts being embarrassing, and she is as believable as a German in the same way with Keanu Reeves as an Englishman in Dracula or Jon Voight as a Paraguayan in Anaconda (two of the worst accents ever attempted in film so that's indication of how badly overdone her attempt was). The characters have personality but not development with motivations and such being on the surface. The whalewolf was a missed opportunity, marginally better at least than the pteracuda but it's rendered cheaply, it's not much of a threat and is too underdeveloped to be able to root for it. While Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf works in the fun factor and is never dull, it fails as horror, the attacks are too random, too rushed and too goofy and it comes at the expense of tension and suspense, which is nowhere in sight (they are also predictable and not unlike anything seen in the previous Sharktopus movie and the Mega Shark franchise). Some of the dialogue is cheesy and inane, apart from some clever jokes, and while Sharktopus' death is cool Whalewolf's is anti-climactic.

Overall, Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf may not be great but it is the best of the Sharktopus movies. 5/10 Bethany Cox