Hellboy: The Crooked Man

This film has an unique place in my cinema viewing history. It's the only series I've ever seen on a big screen where I've been the only person in the auditorium for each one. This latest episode sees the eponymous devil (Jack Kesy) escorting a lethal spider on a train with aspiring para-psychologist "Bobbie Joe" (Adeline Rudolph) when an accident sees them deposited into the middle of the Appalachian forest. Here they encounter long-since abandoned coal mines and an equally out-of-touch community that smacks a great deal of "The Deliverance" (1972). With little sign of their spider, they encounter the returning local lad "Tom" (Jefferson White) and are quickly helping him repatriate his dad to the cemetery and keep his ex-girlfriend/local witch "Effie" (Leah McNamara) out of the hands of the real devil. It's dark and misty settings do go some way to creating a slight sense of mystical peril, but the rest of this is badly acted and written with zero originality and few opportunities for action or humour. Kesy seems content to take his fee for wandering around wagging his pointy red tail and smoking whilst the director Brian Taylor uses plenty of tried and tested cinematic techniques to try and breathe some life (or death) into this derivative drudge of a film. I kept thinking he's got a pair of goggles on his head - but them's what used to be his horns. Like his horns, whatever made this work first time round has long gone and I can't say I'd even bother with this on a streaming service on a wet Wednesday in February. No more, please.

This garbage is an abysmal misfire that only tarnishes the legacy of the beloved comic character. The film is a disaster from start to finish, failing in nearly every aspect of filmmaking, from its mediocre script to its lackluster performances and embarrassing visual effects.

The plot, which should have been a dark and thrilling exploration of Hellboy's adventures in the Appalachian backwoods, instead feels like a poorly strung-together sequence of clichés and uninspired horror tropes.

The pacing is atrocious, dragging its feet through long, dull stretches that leave the audience bored and disengaged. It's hard to believe this story came from the mind of Mike Mignola, considering how it has been butchered beyond recognition.

Performance-wise, the cast seems entirely checked out, delivering lifeless and wooden portrayals that are far beneath their talent. Hellboy himself is reduced to a one-dimensional caricature, lacking any of the charm or depth that made the character iconic.

The supporting characters are forgettable at best and cringeworthy at worst, with dialogue so stilted it sounds like it was written by a first-year film student.

Visually, the movie is a complete eyesore. The special effects look like they were ripped from a low-budget TV movie from the early 2000s.

The creature designs are uninspired, and the CGI is so poorly executed that it takes you out of the experience entirely. Even the practical effects, which could have been a saving grace, are laughably bad.

The direction is utterly inept, lacking any sense of style or coherence. The horror elements fail to deliver even a hint of tension or fear, instead leaning on cheap jump scares that don't land. The film's tone is all over the place, trying to balance horror, action, and dark comedy, but succeeding in none. The result is a jumbled mess that doesn't know what it wants to be.

How does anyone in their sane mind give the directional capabilities to the moron who destroyed Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance is beyond me. Also the lack of budget is very much prominent in the scenes also hiring God knows who the actors are whether they can be called so is a doubt.

I knew it from the first trailer that this was going to be a straight to vod type garbage.

It's a soulless, uninspired cash grab that disrespects its source material and its audience. Avoid this one at all costs-you'll thank yourself later.

Our introduction to Hellboy and possibly most of the general public was the 2004 movie directed by Guillermo Del Toro, which offered the comic book franchise it's push to mainstream. Hellboy felt at home in the hands of Del Toro who went on to spawn a second film 'The Golden Army' in 2008. While both being generally well received and are modest box office successes, a third Hellboy film with both Ron Pearlman (as Hellboy) and Del Toro never came into fruition - instead rebooting in 2019 starring David Harbour as the titular half-demon hero.

To be fair, despite a good performance by Harbour, we were no fans of the action packed and gratuitously violent reboot, - mostly due to the comparative superiority of the first two Del Toro versions that also beautifully handled Hellboy and his peers' themes of othering and self-acceptance, which proved more appealing than doubling the action and blood. The reboot eventually bombed in the box office and was met with generally negative reviews leaving the franchise dormant.

Now 5 years later, on its fourth live action iteration, this Hellboy movie is firstly, the only one with Mike Mignola, the creator himself, with direct writing credits for the screenplay. It is also the most faithful adaptation of it's chosen source material 'The Crooked Man'. It also has the lowest budget out of all the live action films and the shortest run-time clocking at 1 hour and 36 minutes only.

As a fan of Hellboy, this was a very enjoyable watch, especially it's stripped down and claustrophobic feel that stands out against a plethora of explosive and bright blockbusters - these included the three prior Hellboy films. But, with an understandably lower budget, the creature special effects could use a little more polish. We do appreciate the rest of the film prioritizing the use of practical effects.

Jack Kesy who portrays Hellboy, at least for this variant and theme, actually dons the character well. The rest are portrayed as they are in the comics, and it mostly leans on how people like the source material - which is great for us, but may leave much to be desired for the general viewer.

Perhaps if this was the first Hellboy film, then maybe there's some leeway for more praise and less negative comparisons to, ultimately still, the better Del Toro films. We would argue however that it is above the overall experience of the 2019 reboot, and it uniquely stands out as a slow burning horror piece where-in you may seem less frightened knowing you have 'Anung Un Rama, Son of the Fallen one' on your side.

No spoilers, i'll be brief.

Now, i've not read the source material, but did watch all three movies (liked 'em... even third one, with mr. Harbour, was not all that bad) though. And played PC game back in 2000 (i am old). So... this flick? Worked for me. 5/10 or even 6/10 easily. Has some good acting, has some bad acting, production budget is low and it shows, but the story is pretty good and horror elements are there. Old village in the middle of nowhere, deal with a devil, touch of witchcraft and necromancy. Do not expect fancy CGI, though some practical make-up is spot on. Probably would have worked better as a mini-series - say, four episodes, an hour each. More space for story development, character arcs and general progression.

To conclude. Not nearly as terrible as i thought it would be.

Not the greatest praise, i know.

But still a praise.

People are addicted to soulless, mass produced, green screen, fast-edited blockbusters with ridiculous budgets that treat the viewers like 8 year olds with ADD. Well this ain't one of them.

The story is smaller in scale, which is what the superhero genre needs after it's been marvelized beyond recognition during the last 20 years. The cast is doing a good job, the pace is fine, the 90 minute running time is ideal, the cinematography is great. Could've used a better soundtrack and some more light in certain sequences.

Of course if it's not your cup of tea, you can always rewatch the abysmal 2019 Hellboy.