Head on a Plate

WELL past their prime "adult" film stars mistakenly thinking they can be real actors....

Written, directed, edited, and produced by the same guy... No one else thought this film was a good idea... They were all abundantly correct.

Acting is bad all around.. no one in the cast, and I mean no one, can act.

The story is mostly just odd stares.. and a constant hum of background music. There's so much plastic in some of the faces, actual expression may be difficult or impossible. But I guess that does somewhat lend itself to the whole "alien" thing.

Stick a few needles in your eyes and ears.. same general experience..

Where Botox and silicone go to retire. This movie has no redeeming qualities others than giving a hooker-shoe salesman one last order.

I think we have all seen the alien takes human form in order to get what it wants done before. And in every instance, done better. The movie has a plot and that's it. Oh and a hell of a sound track and I do mean a hell of one. Little cousin Timmy playing on the organ.

Thank goodness there is no nudity. To see any of the cast members naked would have cost me my lunch. These are not pretty people.

I confess to having no education in any field of the arts. I only know what I like and what I don't like. I should have jumped from this film when the broad walked across the desert floor in her stiletto platform heals in her $7 bordello dress but I had to see if it was going to get better. It did not The good news. To the best of my knowledge, no animas were permanently injured in the making of this motion picture.

Warning: Beware of anyone who likes this movie..

This movie is grotesque... I don't know how i made it through and have to admit some shuttling was involved as this movie is sloooooooww.

The basic idea is following an alien shapeshifter that took the body of a porn actress nearing retirement in way too high heels who for some reasong went digging for money somewhere in the desert.

That opening scene of the alien appearing in the desert and taking the body of a woman digging for money in high heels and cocktail dress is unbelievable. Either you turn it off (and there is plenty of reaons from bad acting to absolute nonsense details and weird to bad CGI) or you want to know what the hell the director was going for with this movie.

Basically it feels like a softcore prn producer watched "Under the skin" and though... I can do that! So prepare for a weird MILF alien walking around, observing weird situations and then killig weird people in weird ways.

The feeling is similar arthouse but heavily collides with the actresses who have a strong OnlyFans vibe and the sudden explosions of gore (literally).

Some of the weird exagerrated facial expressions are incredibly funny. I think they were meant to be creepy but most of the time border on the comedic if not crossing that border for good. The last time I saw this style was in Pierre Tsigaridis movies which played it in a real unsettling way in "I who have no one" and "Two witches". This director obviously failed and took on a project that did not really work with his way too obvious softcore background.

I have to admit this project is ballsy in its own way, but its not a good movie. I won't even try to explain the drawn out "story"... like "Under the skin" the vibe obviously was more important to the director and i guess he failed in what he wanted to do but still made a weirdly interesting movie that reminds of a car crash you can't look away from. Definitly a good choice for funny bad movie night! Look out for the incredible pizza scene... classic!

I was horrified to see the low score assigned to this film.

There was real creativity and intention involved. The film took its time. How often do actors dress the part! How often does the camera allow the time to appreciate and enjoy.

We have distinct characters here, revealed more by observation than dialogue. I was impressed by the hungry nurse and her disordered patients.

Gory in some places. Does the film try to corrupt us into perversions of decapitation ands cannibalism.

Good use of sound and colour. Bold film making.

Distinct and original.

I found the leading actress very appealing and challenging. She reminded me of Donatella Versace. I also enjoyed the Gothic human character.

The only thing of any note that was interesting, and nice to view, was the pre film introduction starting images. After that there is nothing of any credibility to like; it becomes a nightmare to force yourself to watch through to the end! I recognized none of the players and I think they were amateurs. None of them had copious amounts of lines to speak and it was bland to listen to when anyone did do their script lines.

I am sick to death of this 2023 year of films containing loads of females with messed up bodies of pointless tattoo's. Three of the four women in this movie are covered in them and they all look like stick thin malnutrition models and, nothing therefore visually good looking or sexy is even in view.

There is no story whatsoever and no flowing rhythm in the scenes, due to it looking like its all disjointed and not knowing where its going and what its supposed to be. If it was a film school project it would be failed and used in future courses as the "How not to do a film" example.

I regret even giving this a 1 star as it doesn't deserve a good mark at all; only bad marks!