Aliens vs. Avatars

I watched that flick a few days ago. Of course not completely. I guess nobody ever did.

The most interesting fact about that movie is that it was directed by Lewis Schoenbrun. I did not knew that guy till yet. But it seems that he is some kind of mentally ill reincarnation of Ed Wood.

The movie is really not worth any description. There is a blue avatarish creature in a spaceship orbiting earth, a Pretator like other creature and a Lost in Space (1965) look a like robot. Also some college students. All of them interact somehow without any sense or story line. They walk around on grass, now and then you see a tree. Guess the whole film location was not bigger then 100 square meters. (Maybe somebody's garden or a lawn beside a motorway station?) Oh! Also there are some laser beams in a 1970s movie stile.

I was fascinated by the most unnecessary nudity plot ever added into a movie. Its somewhere at the beginning of the film. Some chicks hike to a cabin. Then one of both instantly starts undressing while the other one walks without any reason a few meters into the forest. The conversation and the music gives you the feeling that you got accidentally the wrong disc and you are watching some kind of weired hiking soft porn. The second chick undresses during she walks into the forest and apparently just throws her cloth on the ground. Which really makes no sense in any way. After making sure that you have seen enough breasts, the predator thing shows up and kill her or whatever, i do not care.

Well if you wanna see the most unnecessary nudity scene ever, then watch the movie to this point. Then hit the stop button and bump your head for the next 40 minutes rhythmic against the wall. I guarantee you! It will be much more fun and hurt less then watching the rest of the flick.

Unfortunately, zero or a minus number of stars are not allowed, because even one star is already too much credit for this undefinable load of manure. Plan nine from outer space is Oscar material in comparison to this waste of time. Is it really that bad, you might ask. No, it's even worse. The acting is awful. The script is awful. The costumes are even worse. A teenager with a moderate computer could make better effects. It looks like someone decided to make a film without any budget at all. The result is as can be expected. Just five minutes into the film, i already knew it was bad. Instead of switching it off, i kept watching it, hoping it would improve. A dreadful mistake on my part. It didn't get better, it got worse. Save yourself a lot of wasted time and don't bother watching it. You'll be a lot better off. The only advantage of watching more than an hour of this garbage is that bad films such as Plan nine from outer space or Starcrash seem to have become a lot more watchable than before.

How can anybody make such a terrible sci-fi movie ?! You can't possibly imagine it to be any worse . This movie just achieved the highest level of sucking in whatever aspect imaginable ! In fact it is so terribly bad that makes you think it's made by the greatest mind of 21th century ! And you ask why is that ? Paying attention to every little Sucky detail and making it suck even more is not something ordinary men can do , it needs a genius man, getting help from a genius crew, doing a lot of thinking and hard work . So if this was the goal of the staff of the movie(sucking as much as possible in 70 minutes), then I should say they achieved it perfectly, no hesitation whatsoever ! Considering this fact we can say :

DIRECTING : Simply brilliant ---ACTING : Marginally the best acting possible to mankind ---VISUAL EFFECTS : OMG! I am sure they found real Aliens and Avatars, made them furious of each other somehow,started filming their war,got caught in the middle,survived the war,edited the valuable footage and rolled it out as a movie ,cause otherwise how could everything in the movie be so real !!!!!!!!

All the above aside , I think if you watch this movie as a comedy everything starts to change ! Then it's definitely a astonishing comedy with lots of laugh and fun !

Okay this is my first ever review and unfortunately its for this pile of garbage! I watched this movie just to see if it was really as bad as the other reviews claimed it to be and its much worse. I have seen my fair share of B movies and this one is in a league of its own. I wouldn't even give it a sympathetic A for good effort even if a bunch of school kids have made it and they don't look that young. Its porn acting without the sex! so you can imagine what i am talking about. The visual effects are a sorry cause and the way the story has been put together is really pathetic. All in all watch a game of golf and you will find more entertainment in that!

When i first took a look at the DVD cover i knew this film was going to suck...But i could not imagine that it would be such a awful film.

A short summary of this garbage:

Starts of with two girls getting undressed in the forest for no reason. Why? I don't know. Probably cause this movie is stupid. Then both girls gets killed by this horribly bad made alien. (Looks like a bad Halloween costume). Then it changes story, the girls was just a buildup to the main story. A bunch of students walk around in the forest and gets killed one by one. So a avatar comes down from space to help them. Together with the avatar they start up this cardboard lookalike robot that belong in a 50s movie to kill the alien.

The actors are a disgrace, no emotion what so ever, it's does kind of actors who thinks that they do a good job by just groaning and do heavy breathings.

And the special effects.... Looks so cheap. I know that it's a low budget movie, but why sell it in stores? They are robbing buyers money. Don't buy this movie. They are selling you dirt.

Thank you for reading this review. SwedishCritic