Sub Zero - Eisige Jagd

Hard to imagine why a group of people would assemble to produce this. I just watched it on Pay Per View. I was in the mood for a "thriller", and the most skilled artisan involved in this production was the one who made the trailer look like it referenced a passable film. I do occasionally like to watch "rubbish" films, like the random Airline disaster... The ones where someone with the fear of flying lands the airplane with one wing, no wheels and after all the crew die after all drinking coffee spiked by a scorned lover, while callous Corporate overlords cover up the shoddy maintenance schedule of the aircraft.

But... not this...

Another commenter points out all the flaws relating to mountain climbing. The science is just as daft, the technology even worse and the political scenario's take the biscuit... So the UN sanction the creation of a doomsday satellite network, all controlled by one 4 inch remote control device thats guarded by, maybe 3 guys...

I may have seen a worse movie in my life... But I cant think of one, right now.

Suddenly down comes an avalanche! how she and her colleagues get off - you dont know! the action suddenly switches to a unit ontop of another mountain that gets attacked by a small group of russians who steal something that looks like a discoloured rubiks cube, they jump on a plane, which is shot down!.....does it get better? Wouldnt know, 10-12 minutes in and we reach for an off switch and the delete button. IS this the best FREEVIEW can offer? well, if it is dont bother...other than Ms Peebles no one else in the cast was familiar.....currently, watching repeats of some UK based Comedy series....which is superior to the previously mentioned Ms Peebles stuck avoiding an avalanche!

The picture of a climber on the DVD box is what made me rent the movie. I was expecting something no worse than Cliff Hanger or Vertical Limits (both of which were ludicrous). But I knew within the first 2 minutes that this was oh-so-much-worse... The special effects are bad, the acting is bad, the script is pathetic, and the climbing... beyond laughable. Another reviewer already commented on the "crawling along the snow", the missing crampons in the crevasse, and the poor ice axe technique of the "climbers".

I'll add to that: 1) the fact that the climbers go from D.C. to K2 base camp at about 20,000ft with no acclimatization (close to instant death...); 2) they carry big, heavy non-expedition tents to Camp 1; 3) there are tire tracks all around Camp 1 (!!!); 4) they never rope up properly, and walk too close together; 5) it's windy outside, but quiet and calm inside the tent (no wind); 6) they carry Coleman gas lanterns to Camp 1 and no one has a headlamp (what real climbers use); 7) their packs and equipment are all new, and yet, all these climbers are "the world's best" with loads of experience; 8) they're not dressed like climbers (furry hood); 9) they keep referring to the fact that it's suicide to climb K2 "in this season" (winter?), yet, it's mostly sunny and apparently not very cold on the mountain (no visible "breath").

And no one - I don't care how good they are - would ever sign up to reach 23,000ft on the north face of K2, within 72 hours of sitting in an office in Washington, D.C. Not even for large sums of money.

If you're going to write a movie about climbing, wouldn't you learn SOMETHING about the sport first?

For good climbing movies, Everest (IMAX) by David Brashears, and Touching the Void (the Joe Simpson story) --- much, much, much better, even without the fake Russians and glowing Rubik's cubes...

An unashamed Z-grade mountaineering flick, directed by a man (Jim Wynorski, hiding under a pseudonym) better known for making trashy T 'n' A movies and with a storyline that's more than happy to rip off VERTICAL LIMIT. If you like watching overly familiar, silly movies loaded with stock footage, awful plotting and some outrageously poor effects, you've come to the right place.

Things begin with a supposedly dramatic sequence set atop a sheer cliff. It soon turns out that this is a direct rip-off of CLIFFHANGER's famous opening scene. From here on in, we get a silly, half-baked storyline involving a futuristic satellite weapon that looks like nothing more than a cheap Rubik's cube. There are some outer space shots that look awfully familiar to the ones in UNDER SIEGE 2, and a squad of Russian terrorists whose tendency toward self-destruction makes them some of the dumbest ever shown on screen.

Eventually, the plot gets around to sending a bunch of would-be heroics up an impassable mountain in Tibet in a race against time (yawn). No surprises that there are some more dastardly betrayals, some dodgy Russians and a token black guy whose only purpose is to get bumped off ASAP. The high-rise heroics make use of plenty of sub-par CGI and characters don't bat an eyelid when long-time friends are decimated by stock-footage avalanches.

Of the cast, lead Costas Mandylor is the most familiar from his appearances in seemingly dozens of SAW sequels. He's supported by Linden Ashby (who was a one-time action hero in the likes of MORTAL KOMBAT, although his acting hasn't improved since then), and the pretty but vacuous Nia Peeples. Aside from some low-rent machine-gun action, there's not much going on here, leaving this a Z-movie to be endured rather than enjoyed. Still, there's far worse out there even if this is below average by genre standards, although that's not a recommendation.

This film is a waste of digital imagery! Imagine, the hero ventures up K2 in a K-Mart parka with a fur edged hood no less. In one scene one "climber" (I say that oh so tongue in cheek) belays another by just standing there (he is tied onto the rope though)while his buddy holds a hundred feet or so of loosely coiled rope in his hands between the "belay" and the prospective climber.

Oh man, this flick is sooooo bad, I almost wept. Oh, the aforementioned climber falls down a crevasse, is hanging there wearing his crampons, then is hauled out without them. I mean, these things are strapped to your ankles so you can't loose them. The ice axe technique and cramponning (no front pointing at all) is pathetic, and crawling up, no, along snow slopes reminded me of a drunk in the gutter finding his way home. Speaking of axe technique, when a guy fell down a slope, instead of using the appropriate technique of rolling over and gently applying the point as a brake by applying ones weight, he lies on his back flailing helplessly at the snow. If that axe had gripped, it would have ripped his arm off.

All those really great mountaineers now sadly perished, will be rolling over in their graves (if lucky enough to have one).

'Nuff said, this film should be burnt! It's a disgrace!