Lady Cocoa

"Coco" (Lola Falana) is serving time in a Nevada penitentiary and agrees to testify against her mob boyfriend "Eddie" (James A. Watson Jr.) in exchange for her freedom. Naturally, Eddie doesn't like the idea and sends a couple of hit men to take care of the problem once and for all. Figuring that something like this might happen the District Attorney provides two bodyguards by the names of "Doug" (Gene Washington) and "Ramsey" (Alex Dreier). Unfortunately, she refuses to believe that Eddie will try to harm her and treats both of her them with complete contempt. But one of the hit men named "Big Joe" (Mean Joe Greene) isn't playing any games. Now rather than reveal any more of the story and risk spoiling the movie for those who haven't seen it I will just say that I thought the character of Coco was extremely annoying. But even so I must admit that Lola Falana played her part superbly. I also liked the surprises as the story progressed. In short, for a low-budget "Blaxploitation" movie this one wasn't too bad. Slightly above average.

Cracking blaxploitation feature stars singer / performer Lola Falana as the title character, a sexpot being released from prison so that she may testify against her racketeer boyfriend Eddie (James A. Watson Jr.). Watching over her are a corpulent, seen it all veteran cop, Ramsey (Alex Dreier), and a former patrolman, Doug (Gene Washington). Cocoa must of course dodge various attempts made on her life while making life miserable for Ramsey and Doug. Because whatever Lola wants, Lola must get, of course.

This is actually a pretty lively and amusing comedy that eventually segues into conventional action and suspense. It gets a lot of its juice from the give and take between the two main characters. Doug doesn't like the assignment, or Cocoa, at first, but we all know it's merely a matter of time before he succumbs to her charms (and assets). Football great Washington and Ms. Falana set off an appreciable amount of sparks in the lead roles; Dreier lends gravitas and experience in his role. The supporting roles are amusingly cast; that's director Matt Cimber himself in the role of honeymooning newlywed Arthur, and Millie Perkins ("The Shooting") as his bride. Washingtons' peer 'Mean' Joe Greene plays one of two unrelenting hit men. Exploitation mainstays George 'Buck' Flower, John Goff, and Richard Kennedy appear as a gambler, 'Sicilian', and put-upon waiter respectively. Watson is smooth as the villain behind everything.

Ultimately, Mikel Angels' screenplay is just a little too predictable (save for one twist involving Perkins). Fortunately, the movie still manages to be fun, with good location photography, a nice action sequence with a runaway car *inside* a casino, and a music score by Luchi De Jesus that puts a few amusing spins on that old standard, 'Pop Goes the Weasel'. Ms. Falana herself co-adapted it with De Jesus for the brassy theme song, belted out by the super sexy lady over the opening credits.

Lolas' bimbo shtick may become wearying early on for some viewers, but those who stick it out will be rewarded with what turns out to be a solid entry into this genre.

Eight out of 10.

No one was hotter than Lola Falana in the early-mid '70's. She could be seen on The Flip Wilson Show, The Ben Vereen Show, Johnny Carson and doing guest spots on "FBI" and "Streets of San Francisco". So cashing in on the blaxplotation boom wasn't a bad idea for this sultry song bird--or was it?

"Lady Cocoa" is about a lady who gets a 24 hour day pass out of jail in exchange for testifying in court against her hustler boyfriend, played by a guy that you always see on shows of the 70's. He's that guy that you don't know his name but you always see him playing a guest spot like a door to door sales man on "Good Times" or some nerdy guy on "Barney Miller". When I saw who was playing the big bad boyfriend, I said, "THAT guy? Oh geez." At any rate, Lady Cocoa is under the custody of a big burly D.A. man and a good looking cop. It is apparent that the writers tried to create some tit for tat, playful bantering between the spit fire Cocoa and the straight faced "by the book" cop, creating romantic tension between them. WRONG.

First of all, Lady Cocoa behaved like a regular twit. Often yelling and screaming and constant complaining. My goodness, shouldn't she be grateful that she gets 24 hours away from the slammer? Wouldn't it be more likely that she would rather be enjoying cable t.v, room service and perhaps the massage benefits that i'm sure the swanky Las Vegas hotel had to offer? And the her straight laced cop love interest was, well..how can I put it--stiff-as-a-board. Total mismatch, Which brings me to another point.

This movie had a few loose ends. Well, more than a few. I could have sworn that when a person turns states evidence, they are exonerated from all crimes and released from jail and placed into protective custody. But in Lady Cocoa's case, she only gets a 24 hour get out of jail card? Wow, that's gotta stink.

Okay, so a couple of thugs are wise to her plans and where abouts and is out to kill her. So she has to try to stay alive long enough to fully enjoy her well earned 24 hours of freedom. The back drop of this movie is appropriately enough, Las Vegas. What better movie location for no other than "The Queen of Las Vegas", Lola Falana. What got me through the horrible lighting, direction and sound was Lola herself. She's fun to watch if you can get past the incredibly suckie dialoge, although some lines were kind of funny.

Out of the many blaxploitation films i've seen, I'd say that Lady Cocoa was tolerable because of the brief cat and mouse sequence at the end. And of course, the fabulous Lady Lola herself. I'd recommend you see this film if you're into black movies of the 70's. but please, don't expect too much from this one, you'll only get your feelings hurt.

Another extreme cheapo blaxploit.... Mean Joe Green, who I primarily remember for his enthusiatic endorsement of Coca-cola in the 80's, plays a hit-man flunkie for a pimp/drug dealer, and though because of his semi-celebrity status he is given top billing, he was apparently not trusted to pull off even one speaking line. Not one word the whole movie. Pretty incredible. This is basically crap - hard to watch unless you enjoy very bad slow movies. Lola Falana seems to be quite the firecracker, but this story of her one day of freedom before she testifies on her ex-boyfriend (the aforementioned pimp/dealer ) for the FBI doesn't hold anyone's interest.

To me there was some real confusion (mainly due to bad editing, scripting and directing) on whether or not the fat old cop was straight or corrupt.

Oh how I wanted to like this movie.

It has all the ingredients to be great. Charismatic lead actress, cool name, main theme tune. A good set up for lots of action.

We could have had another Foxy Brown here with Lady Cocoa.

But alas, it was not to be.

Because Lady Cocoa herself is such an insufferable, awful, loud-mouthed know-it-all that within 30 minutes I was wishing she'd just get shot already.

Rarely have I seen such an unlikeable main character in a Blaxploitation movie.

Lola Falana has the acting chops and charm to be an excellent lead. But the script writers confused arrogance for confidence, quoting philosophy like it's scripture for intelligence, and a nasty mean-streak a mile wide for charm.

No wonder we never got a Lady Cocoa sequel. No one in the entire world would ever want to see this awful character ever again.