Sex Kittens Go to College

Sex Kittens Go To College has former stripper Mamie Van Doren bcoming the head of the science department at a collegein Nevada, She was chosen by he college's new computer. The compter has a sideline as a bookie and some of the local gangsters want to find out who's muscling in on their action.

That's the barebones plot of a witless comedy that wastes the talents of a lot of good people. Then again Mamie Vnn Doren's pulchriude is the main reason for seeing this film.

When a bongo playing monkey can steal a scene, you know you got troubles.

"Sex Kittens Go To College" is a terrible film...with lousy writing, dumb acting and not much going for it. However, at least it isn't trying to be a good film and in fact it is trying very hard to be a stupid and terrible movie!

When the film begins, some college decides to hire the perfect professor and they use their computer to tell them the choice. It suggests Dr. West (Mamie Van Doren)--a woman with 15 degrees and with an IQ of nearly 300*! So, without even meeting her, they offer West a position at the school and are shocked when she shows because she's one hot lady...and later they discover she's a stripper! As for Dr. West, she mostly spouts a lot of pseudo- intellectual nonsense which is to supposedly indicate she's a super- genius. On hand throughout the film are a brain-dead jock with some sexual hangups, a group of gangsters, a smart chimp dressed like a student (perhaps Bonzo's cousin), a horny and somewhat dim French student (Bridget Bardot's real life sister) and a LOT of really bad acting!

This movie is much like the later Beach movies (such as "Beach Blanket Bingo")--with very broad acting and writing. It's clearly designed for younger folks who frequented drive-in theaters-- undemanding and dopey. The overall effort is a bit painful to watch and the film is amazingly stupid and just plain bad. Even a guest performance by Conway Twitty (as himself) isn't enough to save this one!

*If you care, IQ scores back in the day were VERY unreliable and lacked real meaning with the old Stanford-Binet. The IQ scores obtained today using the much more widely accepted Wechsler tests top off at about 150...so if you meet anyone claiming to have a much higher score is likely lying, took some online test (that is meaningless) or was tested decades ago.

Funny ha ha No. More like Funny nah nah

The director, Albert Zugsmith, obviously grew up watching the popular Three Stooges and the Marx Brothers films and I guess he tried but failed miserably at copying the camp comedy style of either The Three Stooges and/or The Marx Brothers styles.

Even with the very sexy and voluptuous Mamie Van Doren starring in this clunker and adding two gorgeous co-stars in Tuesday Weld, and Mijanou Bardot this film still could not hold an audiences attention.

I think that the director Albert Zugsmith believed that if he just simply kept a bevy of beauties on screen then his male audience would just lap it up and laugh even when the film was downright confusing and plain dumb.

I did not enjoy anything about this so-called poorly made camp comedy except for Miss Van Doren, Tuesday Weld, and Mijanou Bardot which is why I jacked my IMDB rating from a pathetic 1 to a still very poorly made 2 out of 10 rating.

A college computer nicknamed "Thinko" picks a woman with 13 university degrees to head up the campus science department. Expecting an academic-looking spinster, public relations man Martin "Marty" Milner is surprised to greet Mamie Van Doren at the train station, a stripper nicknamed "Tassels" who has a high IQ and measurements to match (she also speaks 18 languages: "What's the 18th?" .. "English."). Milner (also an associate producer) and Van Doren are an enervated pair; better are Norman "Woo Woo" Grabowski as the captain of the football team who is afraid of girls and Tuesday Weld as a co-ed desperate to get pinned. Brigitte Bardot's sister Mijanou makes her one and only screen appearance as a Frenchie doing her thesis on the human male, Jackie Coogan apes W.C. Fields, John Carradine is hypnotized into joining Tassels on the dance floor, and Conway Twitty wrote the songs. Cult film has all the ingredients for a great B-movie...everything, alas, but a funny script. * from ****

Sex Kittens Go to College (1960)

1/2 (out of 4)

One of the worst films of the decade has a college needing a new science teacher so a robot picks out one who isn't what you'd typical expect. Dr. West (Mamie Van Doren) is a sexy blonde with big you-know-whats and soon everyone on campus is falling for her. I'm really not sure what the point of this film was unless the producers thought it would be funny to pretend that Van Doren was smart. This film has one of the worst reputations out there and it's easy to see why because this "comedy" doesn't have a single laugh in it that works. In fact, there's really nothing here that works because the entire thing just has a really cheap feel to it and it's clear that it was a rushed item without too much thought put into it. The strange thing is that it does feature a good cast and this here helps keep the film from being a total bomb. I actually thought Van Doren was good in the lead role as she handled the "smart" dialogue just fine and I thought she managed to be charming in the part. Both Tuesday Weld and Mijanou Bardot are nice to look at and we get the likes of John Carradine, Vampira, Jackie Coogan, Allan Drake and Conway Twitty in small parts. In fact, seeing Carradine and Van Doren doing a certain dance is always worth sitting through the picture for. The version I watched was the original theatrical one and not the extended piece that ran 7-minutes longer and featured a striptease. SEX KITTENS GO TO COLLEGE is a really bad movie but at the same time it's certainly bad enough to where it should keep fans of bad films entertained.