Innocent Spirits

Chapter 1

The storm

Typical British weather, the sky is dark; there are no stars in the sky, just a full moon that was trying desperately to poke its nose through a mass of thick clouds that were rolling in. It looked like a storm was brewing, my suspicions were confirmed when I heard a low rumble of thunder in the distance and I knew that Mom couldn’t have heard it; all hell would have broke loose in the house if she had. Thunder and lightning wasn’t something that bothered me but my mom was petrified of it. It was just as well everything was packed for tomorrows move otherwise she would go around the house like a blue arsed fly covering mirrors and unplugging electrics. Then she would go and hide in the nearest darkest room in the house. It was normally the broom cupboard under the stairs, it housed the electric meter and about 3000 spiders, I don’t know whether that is irony or stupidity.

Ah freaking ech Katie, you scared the life out of me, I almost jumped as my sister sneaked into my room. I was standing by the window with a huge cup of hot chocolate watching the sky for a bit more drama.

Is Mom over re-acting yet?

Katie nodded and sighed, tele’s off and she was running to the broom cupboard just as I left the room, Wyatt’s asleep on the chair by the window, he aint bothered.

My bedroom was glowing. The two flames I had created by waving gently over the candles’ lightly danced. A flash of lightning, and I could feel the anxiety coming from downstairs. I would go down to see if she’s okay, but Mom mainly does things like this to seek attention. The more you give her, the more she’ll play on it. So I figured it was just best to stay up here. Eventually the storm will pass.

Looks like it’s gonna to be a bit of both, sheet and fork lightning. Can’t remember the last time we had a good storm. I murmured as the rumble of thunder that followed was louder this time.

Pretty isn’t it, her eyes shone with the flickering candles, but she was referring to the sky.

Hmmm, I agreed. Before long, the storm was right over our heads, the rumbles of thunder sounded more like giant bass drums and the lightning lit up the whole sky, it seems like every few seconds there was another fork, like huge white fingers coming down from the dark clouds above. Strikes in all directions, across the sky, to the ground, diagonally, you name it, it was coming. It was like watching a natural and very dangerous fireworks display.

Both Katie and I were watching out the window in sheer awe and amazement at the spectacular show that Mother Nature herself was putting on. All of this was a dry storm, Mom usually freaked out about these more, she said they were electrical storms and more dangerous, but then it started to rain, big spots of water landed on the windows like tiny torpedoes, first singly, then faster and faster until the entire street was drenched, even from this height I could see how the rain splattered on the footpaths and ran down past the gutters to race into the drains. Large puddles were being created on the side of the road; the storm was racing thick and fast around our houses.

We could see lights going off in the neighbours’ living rooms, and faces in windows, there was a lot of other people watching the storm, probably getting high off the amount of energy it was giving off. More lightning and more thunder bangs straight afterwards. There was no break between the two. I looked up to the sky and all I could see was rain, and the kind of bright flashes that were five times hotter than the surface of the sun. My whole body tingled with the energy that emanated from the sky outside. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I got goose pimples on my arms. A shiver ran down my back, but I tried to hide it from my sister to no avail, she noticed, and gave me a funny look.

C’mon, Mom’s gonna be freaking out downstairs. Katie said, and she was right. Attention seeking or not, I knew this storm would be taking its toll on her. With another clap of thunder overhead we both ran down the stairs and headed straight to the broom cupboard where Mom was still hiding. She was shaking like a leaf.

D’ya wanna radio or anythin’, to block out the sound? I asked her, she looked at me as if I was stupid.

She shook her head, it will only attract it more, I was just about to protest when Katie nudged me in the side, she knew what I was about to say and this was no time for petty rows.

Get Wyatt away from the window. She ordered. I did as she said; I wasn’t watching where I was walking and stepped on one of his small metal toy cars with bare feet. I screeched in pain and jumped about the living room like a mad women holding my foot, it put a smile on Mom’s face and Katie was doubled up in laughter. After the initial pain had worn off, I slowly limped over to where Wyatt was still sleeping, I couldn’t believe that he was actually sleeping through this storm, truthfully though I wouldn’t be surprised if he slept through the sound of a brass band on the side of his bed. I didn’t want to wake him up, he looked really peaceful and I know that an over tired nine year old is a monster in disguise. But I had no other choice; he was getting too big to carry. So, gently I tickled his nose with my finder tip.

Wyatt, c’mon, we got to get you into bed, he stirred just as a flash of lightning and a really loud clap of thunder followed.

He opened his eyes, stop it he moaned.

Stop what? I asked as I straightened my back to stand up.

Stop with the lights, and the banging, he moaned again with his eyes still shut.

It’s not me Wyatt, there’s a storm outside, a big one, you wanna watch?

Mom doesn’t ever let me watch the lightning, he countered.

I know but Mom’s in the cupboard already. Wyatt’s eyes were heavy, he rubbed the sleep out his eyes, and he was soon awake.

Really?

Yep.

Normally Mom would force Wyatt in the cupboard with her, it was her weird way of trying to keep him safe and away from the thing only she was scared of. He would always moan about how bored he was and he wanted to watch with Katie and I. And I could understand why too, she shouldn’t be feeding a kid fear, just because she is scared of it. Katie stayed with Mom; she always did have more patience than me, while Wyatt and I went back upstairs to watch the storm out the window in my room. With wide eyes and a huge smile Wyatt enjoyed every second of it, but as the storm started to disperse so did Wyatt’s enthusiasm. I could see that his eyes were drooping and he protested time and time again that he wasn’t tired. But when he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes open anymore, I guided him to his room, tucked him into bed and kissed him on his forehead.

Goodnight, God bless, sweet dreams, see you in the morning Wyatt.

Wyatt tried to repeat the same thing to me but he was asleep before he got to the sweet dreams part, I left his bedroom door open as I left his room and kept the landing light on, he would wake up in the night with screams of dread and fear if that light was turned off or if his door was closed, he had a very vivid imagination for a lad his age. I just hoped with all my heart and soul it was just his imagination and he wasn’t seeing the same kind of things I was when I was his age. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, let alone my little, terrible and spoilt, but lovely brother.

The storm had stopped but Mom never could seem to get out of that cupboard for at least half an hour after the last clap of thunder, just in case.

Sometimes though, storms had a way of circling back around and she would stay there till it started again. There’s been many a time when she has slept all night in the bloody thing. Crazy if you ask me. This time though, Mom got out of the cupboard and before she did anything else she went up stairs to pop her head around Wyatt’s door to check on him.

She won’t have it will ’er. Katie whispered.

We both told her that Wyatt was fine and asleep. She went up to check on him anyway.

I just raised my eyebrows in agreement and shook my head.

I was tired and I wanted to go to sleep myself. But I’d still got some packing to do. I really couldn’t be bothered to do it on my own though so I thought trying to bargain with my sister might be a good idea.

Katie, how tired are ya?

Hmmmm… not very, why?

D’ya fancy helping me pack the rest of my stuff, there aint that much, most of it’s done, I didn’t bother unpacking when I came back from Wales earlier.

She smiled, and her gleaming white straight teeth never ceased to amaze me, considering she is the only one in the family that has them straight and not over lapping, or slightly crooked somehow. Plus Katie wasn’t one to miss any type of opportunity, so I knew what question was coming.

What’s in it for me?

First choice of bedrooms tomorrow?

She narrowed her eyes as if to think about my offer, but I knew she would accept, it was too good an offer to turn down and she knew it.

Hmmmm, ok, she answered after about a two minute pause.

Done. I offered my hand out for her to shake on the deal.

After entering my room Katie seemed to notice for the first time there was a mediocre sized pile of unfolded clothes on the floor next to the wardrobe.

Told ya it shouldn’t take too long, I said as I turned to get two red suitcases from under the bed.

Katie went to put the radio on and turned it down as soon as she did, for a split second she forgot Wyatt was sleeping in the next room.

C’mon the sooner we get started the sooner we finish.

As we worked both Katie and I was lightly nodding our heads to a song we had never heard before, but enjoyed nonetheless.

I am going to miss this large house with it’s rose garden in the back and the tall wooden sash windows that let in a lot of sunlight, the huge coal fire in the living room, usually roared, but not tonight, didn’t need it in this weather anyway. My bedroom has blue floral wallpaper and my bed has blankets instead of a duvet.

Luckily, we did not have to worry too much about Katie and Wyatt moving schools and messing up their education, Katie was in her last year of high school, and really needed to concentrate on her course work, she is just 15 months younger than I am.

We were not moving too far away. The house where we are moving from is in the little old industrial town of Oldbury, in the West Midlands, and we are going to slightly larger and greener pastures, West Bromwich, Hateley Heath to be precise, it’s a small area within a town. About a 6 mile distance from where we are now.

It’s not the distance that bothers me about moving, six miles is hardly anything and I never fitted in anywhere anyway to really care what the kids’ were like in other schools. I wanted to be liked and I did have my small group of friends, but some of them were going to different colleges and there was a very good chance I wouldn’t see them again. I would miss them, so, I suppose, if I really admitted to myself, moving home was not the thing I was upset about. The thought of leaving this house, to go and live in an end semi-detached house at the bottom of a cul-de-sac. I just didn’t see the point.

My little brother Wyatt is way too spoilt for his own good in my opinion, he takes after my mother a lot in his feature’s, fair hair, pale skin and a mouth bigger than the Mersey tunnel. He has hazel eyes and you just know that when he grows up, he is going to be one hell of a heartbreaker.

Wyatt is coming into his last but one year at primary school, and he is getting tall for his age, he’ll be 10 in January and therefore one of the eldest in his class. I wasn’t so lucky; I am tiny for my age. When I was growing up Mom always said that she was worried about me because I was always off my food.

I have long dark hair, a pale face and blue eyes. My birthday falls in August, right slap bang in the middle of the summer holidays, which made me one of the youngest in my class. I am also left handed and that just adds fuel to the fire with some of the bullies, in one of the high schools I went to, my nick name was ‘Caggy.’

In another high school I attended, a boy named Thomas Draymarf, one of the more popular boys in school, came out with moron, and unfortunately for me, with a name like Moore, moron stuck and before I knew it, both my sister and I was stuck with it. I did actually think that was funny, after all, if you spell Draymarf backwards, it spells ‘farmyard.’

Hopefully college will be different; at least I will not know anyone there. It will be a fresh start.

Well, that’s all the clothes done, Katie said as she stood up shaking her legs to get a bit of life back into them. D’ya know what time the removal van’ll be here in the morning?

No, I said as I stood up too fast and the blood rushed out of my head causing me to feel slightly light headed, it soon past. I bent down to pick up my suitcases and moved them to the wall to get them out the way of the middle of the floor.

Mom said they should be here between 8 and 12 so… no lie-in for us in the morning. I moaned raising my eyebrows and rolling my eyes. I sighed. Katie smiled, and started for my bedroom door, ya comin’ downstairs or ya gonna grab an early night?

Nah, think I’m gonna go to bed, it’s been a long day.

Okay, g’night, bless, Swe’ dreams, see you in the morning, that was always our goodnight family saying, but most of the time we said it so fast we didn’t finish the words as we said them. I repeated them to her as she bounced down the stairs, forgetting… again that Wyatt is still in bed. After using the bathroom and brushing my teeth I got changed into my pyjamas. I picked up my book from out of my travel bag, got into bed and read, until my eyes were too heavy to keep going. I was soon asleep. I dreamed…

A black cat looked in through the window, it seemed to be meowing a lot as if she was asking to come in, but Mother wouldn’t let her. In this day and age it was not right for people to own cats and she knew people that had been burnt at the stake for a lot less. But this cat meant a lot to me and I could have cried for it. It wasn’t raining outside; the weather was dry, perhaps too dry.

The poor thing was thirsty and I’d bet hungry too. Mother and Father said we shouldn’t keep on feeding it; we don’t want to keep encouraging it to come back. Honestly, I thought what they were saying was a complete load of dribble; I knew this cat was special… but I couldn’t tell them that, otherwise it would be me burnt at the stake.

I sat next to the window hemming a new dress I was making for myself, when Shadow put her paw on the window. Her eyes looked so sad… I couldn’t ignore her anymore. I put my dress down and got up towards the kitchen. I was sure there was still a little bit of meat left over from dinner. She could have a bit of that, Mother doesn’t have to know. But she would know and I knew it. I smiled to myself as I took a slither of chicken from the platter and I ran outside before anyone could stop me.

I stole a glimpse through the window, all my family were sitting in the living room. My little sister, with her flamey-red curly hair looked astonished that I had just defied my mother’s wishes and neither my mother nor father was doing anything about it. They knew I would… I always do. I ran over to the edge of the woods and Shadow followed me. Shadow is black all over and had the most beautiful Emerald green eyes I have ever seen on a cat. But then, I knew that Shadow wasn’t just any cat. I gave him the meat I had stolen out the kitchen. And he ate it with satisfaction. Then a bright light and a shimmer of magic and Shadow was no longer a cat…

Chapter 2

Moving day

The move itself was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Last nights storm had refreshed the air; the temperature is still warm, and little white cotton wool clouds were scattered about the light blue sky, the kind that if you relax your eyes, you can make shapes out of them, already this morning I made a rabbit, a dragon and an upside down tortoise.

Everything was organised, the removal van turned up about 9.45 this morning. The driver seemed to look a bit too old to be carrying heavy boxes from the house to the van but he seemed to cope alright. The other two men who were working with him were younger and carried the majority of the load. They had trolleys for the heavier items; I asked the older man if I could have a go at pushing one, but I couldn’t get a handle on it, it seemed to have a mind of its own. I gave it back to him and he laughed.

It’s not as easy as it looks it is?

I smiled despite that fact that I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as I blushed, ashamed that I couldn’t even seem to push a stupid trolley.

No, I admitted. I turned around quickly and nearly bumped into Mom as I leaped into the front door way.

Emily! Will you watch where you’re going?

Sorry Mom, I said as I walked into the house.

Katie was in the living room fumbling about with the boxes. How much do you wanna bet we lose something again? Katie asked as she found a box that said Katie’s bedroom in big black felt tip letters across the side.

I don’t bet… you know as well as I do that we will end up losing somethin’. I groaned.

When was the last time we moved and didn’t lose something? Last time it was your passport, remember? It was a pain in the arse to replace. Mom went mad.

Don’t remind me, Katie grumbled.

Where’s Wyatt? I asked with a frown.

The last time I seen him he was in the back garden.

Just as I was about to turn around, Mom came in, come on girls she moaned. She gestured her hand to the few boxes that were left. Katie and I loaded the last few boxes into the van with the help of one of the younger removal men. While Mom went out the back door to find Wyatt; she pulled her mobile phone out her pocket to call a taxi. We didn’t have a car because I was still taking driving lessons and Mom didn’t drive at all, she used to, but she lost her licence for speeding while going through a red light. She nearly ran over a young man who was crossing at the time.

To our surprise, we saw Dad’s car just outside our new home waiting for us, don’t ask me what type of car it is though, I am useless with cars, they all look the same to me, well, near enough the same anyway. It was a surprise to me because I didn’t even know that Dad knew we were moving today. I thought Mom must have informed him.

Dad only came around to see us once in a while because his job as a surgeon at the local hospital took up most of his time, well, that and the fact the Mom can’t stand his new girlfriend, actually that is a bit of an understatement, she absolutely loathes her. When we asked Mom why she felt that way about her she would say ‘she lets off bad vibes, that’s all.’

I didn’t believe this for a minute because every time I came into contact with her, she generally came across as being a peaceful, loving person. I liked her anyway and so did Katie and Wyatt. And it’s not like Dad has just got with this woman, they have been together for a few months.

Truthfully, I knew Mom was just jealous of her and didn’t want to admit it. Unfortunately Mom still loves Dad, she would never admit that, but as much as she tries to lie about her feelings to other people and more importantly herself, she can’t lie to me. My magical witch powers will always allow me to see through a lie.

Wyatt, Katie and I jumped out of the taxi as soon as it stopped, leaving Mom to pay the driver. We ran over to Dad’s car, and he was just getting out when Wyatt threw his arms around his neck.

Dad! Wyatt shouted in an excited voice.

Dad’s grin was from ear to ear when he picked Wyatt up and spun him around. Wyatt was still clinging on to him as if Dad was going to disappear any second into thin air.

Katie and I were jumping for joy, up and down like two demented cats on a hot tin roof, also excited about Dad being with us.

Dad or Greg as my mom call’s him, has short black/brown hair, and when we were children I always regarded him as being a giant for how tall he is, now I am 18 years old I can see he is only about 5 foot 9 inches.

Em, I swear you get taller every time I see you, how tall are you now?

5 foot 4inches, I answered, smiling and bursting with pride.

Dad only ever called me Emily when I was in trouble, that’s when he would full name me Emily Alice Moore! he would say, He did the same with Katie, he normally called her Kate for short, but she didn’t like it, she preferred Katie. With Dad being a surgeon he is very successful at what he does a perfectionist on every level. Just like Katie, he has perfectly straight teeth, but his eyes are bright blue, just like mine. His smile is contagious, just like Wyatt’s, and he always wears a suit, everywhere he goes, he is always perfectly groomed.

When Katie and I were little, before Mom and Dad broke up, Dad would normally come home from work and sit on his chair by the fire and either read a book or the newspaper or even watch the TV. There was a space between the back of his chair and the wall; Katie and I would play there pretending that the little space was a far off magical land where pirates, mermaids and faeries lived.

Dad hated us playing there, and those were the only times I can remember Dad ever getting mad at us. As children, we thought he was being mean by not letting us play behind his chair, but we now know that he must have had a very stressful day at work on the operating table, he just wanted to rest without Katie and I running around him.

Dad looked at Mom with seriousness in his expression, a little crease forming between his eyes; he said that he needed to speak with her about something.

You three kids go upstairs and pick your rooms, your dad and I need to talk. Mom muttered in a voice that was only too familiar when Dad was around.

I could almost hear her heart strings tear just that little bit more whenever Dad was around, so she made out she was never happy to see him. It seemed the only thing that they had in common now was us three kids.

I looked at Katie and Wyatt looked at me. Wyatt shrugged his shoulders as if to say whatever! He jumped over the low wall that separated the front lawn from the footpath and ran into the house.

Thump! Thump! Thump! My sister and I heard as Wyatt practically jumped up the stairs trying to make as much noise as he possibly could.

I’m sure the neighbours’ are going to love us, with all that racket, Katie grumbled.

"What do you think Mom and Dad want to talk about? I asked as she started walking towards the gateway to the path leading to our new home. The removal men had started unloading all our stuff out the van, which if you asked me looked more like a lorry.

Emily, use your noggin! She said with a sad smile that did not reach her eyes.

Katie’s expression got me worried, what could she be so upset about? She was really happy to see Dad not 5 minutes ago.

I shook my head slightly.

I’m at a loss; you’re going to have to fill me in.

For someone whose inherited Dad’s brains, you don’t seem to be very fast off the mark do ya! Let’s just say, it’s a good job all your stuff’s already packed.

I could not believe what she was saying.

Katie, what are you talking about, you think I’m gonna be moving in with Dad?

She let out a sharp breath.

Well, it seems a bit obvious to me, I can’t believe you didn’t see it coming, your college is closer to Dad, and this way you aint gonna have to move again, and with Dad turning up today, of all days.

Katie was right on two counts, I didn’t see this coming. I never thought for a minute that Mom would let me go. It was also true that I needed some stability in my life. It’s hard moving around all the time, especially where school was concerned.

I didn’t follow her into the house; I sat on the wall, not taking too much notice that it felt a bit damp. I couldn’t leave Katie and Wyatt here with Mom. What was Katie thinking? There was no way Mom would let me go with Dad, at least not today.

No. I mumbled to myself, thinking out loud. ‘No, I’m not going today,’ I decided, quietly to myself this time. Not this fast without any warning signs. If what Katie was saying is true, then why didn’t Mom talk to me about it first? Did Mom think that I am too immature to make my own decisions? I didn’t know whether to feel angry or upset or both. They know how much I hate lies and secrets.

No, I thought out loud again but this time louder. All three of the removal men looked at me, thinking I was talking to them.

I acknowledged their stare as I was pulling away at the moss that had grown between the bricks of the wall.

I was just thinking out loud, sorry, take no notice of me, and carry on. The wall had aged a lot, darkened with time; I thought… ‘these houses must be old.’

All three of the removal men turned back to their work, talking between themselves. I noticed for the first time that they were all wearing the same uniform, blue combat trousers and a green sweatshirt, with their companies logo written in yellow, ‘Speedy Removals’ across the top of the green material.

Their company lorry had the same colour scheme, with the same Italic style yellow writing saying the company’s name.

I didn’t move from the wall, I just sat there looking at the street. The semi-detached houses curled into a cul-de-sac, just like Mom had said it was. All the houses looked the same, white fronts with upvc doors and windows; they all looked quite small on the outside. Shoebox houses I called them, a typical suburban street, no different from any other.

I thought about how I dreaded coming to live here and now I dreaded the thought of leaving my sister and my brother with my unstable, over dramatic mother.

I bet Dad didn’t approve of this place either, he gave Mom money every month to help look after us, a substantial amount of money to make sure we had everything we needed and some of what we wanted.

Mom didn’t work; she stayed home, a typical housewife, without the husband. Both Katie and I told her that we would be alright if she did want to go back to work, but she wouldn’t, she kept using Wyatt as an excuse, even though he is in full time education now and has been for quite a while. Mom still walks Wyatt most of the way to school and only lets him go the rest of the way with his friends, because Wyatt kicked up a fuss about looking like a sissy in front of the other kids there. Otherwise Mom would still be walking him to his class and hanging up his coat and lunchbox, giving him a kiss and saying Momykins loves ya baby, see ya later.

He is a nine year old for goodness sake, and being treated like a nursery child when he’s two years off going to high school has got to be embarrassing, an easy target for bullies. Sometimes I swear it borderlines on child abuse, being wrapped up in cotton wool that much we can’t breathe.

The only reason she said I could go to Wales is because she had no choice. At eighteen I am an adult now and can do and go wherever I want to. She can’t tell me what to do anymore and she hates it. I could feel myself going into a self-pitying rant. I had to try and change my train of thought, this is not healthy.

The wind had picked up a little bit and the air felt a bit chilly. The blue sky we had earlier was going to be replaced with a huge black cloud I could see coming in from the west and I knew it was only a matter of time before it started raining again. So I picked myself up from the garden wall and walked into the house.

I missed the grass because I knew it would still be muddy from last night’s storm.

Directly behind the front door was a straight staircase, it curved at the top to the right, on the left of me was a glossed white door that, when I opened it, led to the living room. ‘Small,’ I thought. ‘It is nowhere near as big as the last house.’

Mom and Dad were sitting on the burgundy sofa that the removal men had already brought in. They were talking quietly to each other; I think it sounded like Dad was trying to convince Mom of something, and the expression on her face told me that she knew whatever it was, he was right. She looked up at me guiltily.

What’s the matter Mom? I muttered. I knew exactly what was wrong, Katie must have been telling the truth; I could see it written all over their faces. My eyes narrowed and I wondered how long they were planning on keeping this away from me.

Emily sit down, we need to talk to you.

As I stepped through to the living room and sat down on the beige shag pile carpet that was still rolled up ready to be laid. I looked around the room and it clearly needed re-decorating.

The tall walls were papered cream and terracotta, with square patterns that would have been nice about ten years ago, but very outdated now. The ceiling had one light fitting in the centre and the colour was a dirty yellow as if the last tenant was a chain smoker and the nicotine stained the paint. It made me wonder again why Mom would want to live here in the first place.

Emily, how much do you want to go to college? Mom asked me in a kind, but worried voice.

What kind of question is that? I asked with a slight edge to my voice. I could feel my blood boiling, what? Didn’t she want me to make something of my life now? What kind of person did she want me to be, someone like her, not being able to stay in one place long enough let the grass grow under my feet? I shuddered at the thought.

Why? I almost growled. Is this about me moving in with Dad? I was almost shouting at this point, though, I was sorry the moment I thought I would try out Katie’s theory, but I needed to know the truth, to make sure we weren’t just imagining things. As soon as I said it I wished I hadn’t. They both sat on the edge of their seats glaring at me.

How the hell do you know about that? She asked with total surprise in her voice. Have you said anything to her Greg? Because I swear if you have… Mom didn’t finish her sentence; she could see he was in total shock too.

Nobody has said anything to me, I lied. I felt the blood run up to my face, I couldn’t lie without blushing and everyone who knows me would know that little fact. I sighed.

Ok! so Katie might have said something to me, but I wasn’t sure, I thought she might have been making it up. Apparently, by the looks on your faces she wasn’t, so when do you want me at your place then Dad? And Mom why do I feel like you’re chucking me out? My voice broke at the end and my eyes stung, and I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks. There was no way that I was going to give up my place at college, but I felt heartbroken, wondering why Mom didn’t want me around anymore. No, I did know the real reason why I was moving in with Dad, but I was too upset to think straight… I really didn’t want to leave Katie and Wyatt.

Oh honey, I am not throwing you out. Her voice was soft and kind, she leaned forward to give me a hug, she could see how upset I was. Dad relaxed in his seat with compassion in his eyes. He was not one for showing his emotions and he very rarely hugged anyone, other than his kids.

Then why don’t you want me here anymore? I sobbed. She let go of me and sat back on her seat as Dad passed me a clean cotton handkerchief from his suit jacket pocket.

Funds are getting low Emily; I simply can’t afford to send you to college. She muttered her words so low I could barely hear her. I almost had to read her lips to understand what she was saying.

I wiped my eyes and took in a deep breath and nodded.

I am going to college Mom, I have to. I don’t understand why you didn’t speak to me about this before, why didn’t either of you tell me? The secrets… the lies you must have told to keep this from me. Tell me Mom, how much of those college funds has gone in the till at the pub or in the off licence?

Mom knew what I was talking about but Dad didn’t, he knew she used to drink but he didn’t know she still did. I have always thought that it was her drinking that contributed to Mom and Dad’s break up, maybe he wouldn’t have gone off with someone else if she had of stayed sober.

What’s she talking about, you’re still drinking? he stood up, and let out a sharp breath. I don’t give you money to drink Joanna, he shook his head; he could hardly believe what he was hearing.

Your not gonna stop the income am ya? Mom murmured. Tears were filling up in her eyes now.

I couldn’t even if I wanted Jo, these are my kids too, his hands gestured towards me. But I want to see proof that you are getting help, go to support meetings, anything, I don’t care, but if you don’t and you continue to drink, it won’t only be Emily I’ll be taking custody of.

Hey, hold on, no one is taking custody of me… adult now remember! I said, gesturing to myself.

They ignored me so… I backed off to let them have their discussion.

Mom knew that if he took her to court for custody she wouldn’t have a chance in keeping us, I mean… let’s face it, Mom’s a drunk with itchy feet, and Dad’s stable, with a girlfriend and a nice house and a good job. She agreed to his terms and wiped her eyes. I wanted to leave this room, but there was still one question that Dad hadn’t answered yet.

When do you want me at your place Dad?

Ever since I was a child all I wanted to do was watch nature documentaries and play with the insects and dig up worms in the back garden. When I grew into my early teens I collected wildlife information cards and kept a notebook of all the birds and wildlife I kept watch of. I bought encyclopaedias of endangered species and exotic animals, and now, at eighteen I was already teaching myself animal classification. I wanted to get a head start. My dream was to become a professor at a university teaching young adults like myself the values and the importance of the animals we share our world with.

Mom’s face twisted with the pain of letting me go out of her home, out of her protection as a mother. I could see her welling up, but she composed herself. She wouldn’t have wanted to me to see any weakness in her as I made my decision.

There is about a week left before you start college Em. I already have your room set up, it’s up to you. Dad said confidently.

I did feel sorry for Mom, but then, what was I supposed to do. I felt resigned, I bit my nails.

Alright, I suppose I had better get my things then. I didn’t want to go. Outside I had made up my mind not to, at least not today. I sighed… where was my integrity?

I got up off the floor and dragged myself up the stairs, where Wyatt and Katie were waiting for me.

You were right Katie, I am going with Dad.

I walked straight past them and turned around at the top of the wooden staircase.

The landing was small, just like the rest of the house. I could hear Wyatt