It’S Not Going Down Like That...: Cracks Along the Way
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About this ebook
Her memoir is a cautionary tale by an addict who lost so much to her addiction but was able to reclaim her life in the end. So many are still lost in an epidemic that has plagued our communities for decades and is still so very present in our neighborhoods. They must first search within themselves, find the root of the addiction, and then seek recovery to be free of the web of addiction. She is sharing her memoir with the hope of helping other addicts to recover their own lives.
Reneè Darlene Chaplin
Renee Darlene Chaplin was born and raised in Harlem and the Bronx. She has three brothers and two sisters. She now lives with her twelve-year-old daughter, Shaina, in Queens, New York where she is continuing her college education.
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It’S Not Going Down Like That... - Reneè Darlene Chaplin
It’s not going down like that…
Cracks along the Way
Reneè Darlene Chaplin
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© Copyright 2011 Reneè Darlene Chaplin.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Printed in the United States of America.
isbn: 978-1-4269-7326-0 (sc)
isbn: 978-1-4269-7327-7 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number:
Trafford rev. 11/28/2011
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Contents
Author’s Page
Book Synopsis
Introduction
Chapter One
THE FAMILY
Chapter Two
RESSA AND J.P.
Chapter Three
MILO
Chapter Four
THE CONCERT
Chapter Five
RESSA
Chapter Six
THE COUNTRY BOYS
Chapter Seven
BIGGIE’S BIRTHDAY
Chapter Eight
FORTY-NINE PARK
Chapter Nine
ALL’S WELL
Chapter Ten
THE BRONX IN RECOVERY
Conclusion
REHABILITATION
I dedicate this book to Harold Thomas. A man I color father; for he brought so many blessing’s into our lives. May you forever rest in peace… Also, I hope that something in this book is helpful to those in need of inspiration in their worst time. I wish that you find something in this book that could help change your life’s path to a different direction in life.
I would like to thank those that have supported me during this time. All of us collectively made this possible: Joyce Dukes whom inspired me to write the book, Michael Chamblee the artist, Mable my mom, Bernetha, Reggie, Gwen, Anthony my brothers and sisters; my niece Miyoshi, also, 141st and the 140th St Block Association I couldn’t have done this without you.
Author’s Page
My name is Reneè Darlene Chaplin and I was born and raised in Harlem and The Bronx. I am one of six children: three boys and three girls. As a teenager, I wanted to be with the in
crowd. I made many wrong choices that led to a troublesome journey on drugs. I have been leading a drug free life for the past ten years. Today I am spending time in a much healthier environment raising my daughter. At this point in my life I no longer care about the in
crowd. I feel good about making decisions and being able to live with the consequences of my actions. I am more physically fit and mentally at ease, compared to the previous addictive state I was in for a period of my life. I feel more comfortable calling myself a role model to my daughter. I take great pleasure in being able to provide a loving, caring environment for my daughter. I am in a better position to care for my daughter’s needs. I am taking great pleasure in doing so with a much more leveled head. I now live in Queens with my twelve year old daughter Shaina. I am continuing my college education, which will enable me to have a prosperous future.
Book Synopsis
It’s not going down like that: cracks along the way…
has brought me from the lowest place in my life to a new and spiritual state of mind.The rocky bottom that I explored and was forced to endure throughout this book is now apart of my past and responsible for my growing up into the person I am today.What I have exposed in this book about the path one takes while on drugs are: some of the the dirty holes in the blocks that junkies congregate to. The so called ritzy castles with grey skulls that housed and trapped the lost, the prostitution, theft, murder,manipulation by addicts and hustlers both know best, and the secrets that have killed many.I am most grateful that I have left that life… with my life. That life had not gotten the best of me, it had stolen many years but I am still standing… STRONG!! Moreover, it has not got me down.The holes in the walls have changed but the doors to the castles are still open; fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters are out there trapped. They are lost to an epidemic that has plagued our communities for decades and still is so very present in the neighborhoods we live in.We must first search within ourselves, find its root, and then seek recovery. The best analogy I could come up with is the example of a web.
A spider web is woven from the inside out.Its strongest part is its middle and its web could expand in-depth as long as it not touched.Addicts interact amongst themselves.They feel they are most comfortable with those that think and behave as they do; they feel a sense of validation to the choices and lifestyles they have decided to live with their new family.Nothing any of them could do would seem not normal because they believe in so many ways that they are alike.They share many of the same values.It is not until addicts are tired of the lifestyle and wants to rid themselves of the desire and truly wants to quit drugs will anyone be successful in recovery. The most important step is to remove yourself from the scene (inner circle) where most of the entrapment takes place and seek recovery.Once broken away from the strongest part of the circle you begin to heal, regain strength for yourself and the dependency lessens. You are happy being one that came up out of it alive.When you see your old acquaintances it may seem like everything is great and they’re having a good time but the thought of joining them soon evaporates as fast as it comes because the memories of those lonely, empty, hungry and broke nights always come back to mind to haunt you.The baggage of the castles will not let you forget the turmoil of what being an addict was.Those that once victimized others for their own selfish pleasure to get high are now the victims; subject to jail and crime inflicted back on them. As a result, of the craving for that feeling of the first high, the constant need to have drugs or money while parading the dark corners of our city streets will forever keep your life in jeopardy.
Disclaimer:The names, the depiction of time and events have been changed to protect the privacy rights of those involved in this story.
Introduction
It all began in the summer of 1974, I had just graduated Morris High School and thought I was grown; eighteen and loving it. At last, I was able to make my own decisions although I was still living with my parents. Life just felt good! My girlfriend and I for the longest had been hanging out with some of the finest and richest men you could have been around in The South Bronx. I liked to call them The Family. They were the biggest drug dealers in the area. It was eight of us girls that was the closest and good looking wasn’t the word to describe us if I might say so myself. Each one of us brought something different to the group. For Instance, I brought the humor, the jokes and hooked up a mean perm. I often offered suggestions of what spots were jumping.
My best friend "Nilka", the guys always seemed to attract to her first, which a lot of times got us into some of the finest events in town. I guess that Latin flavor just works all the time. She had a shape to die for: Her apple bottom, bowlegs and nice attitude played a good part in keeping us moving within The Family. They enjoyed having us around.
There was "Chardenay" who always got what she wanted when she wanted it most of the time. It just seemed like not only from the men but from her parents as well. When we hung out on the block, it would be at her house; not only us but also many of the guys would come because her brother Kevin was handsome, played ball and many girls wanted to be with him, some of the guys found it a convenient way to meet more women from other boroughs.
Kevin was awarded a basketball scholarship to attend a college out of state that when he left slowed down the pace of the block, not so many people continued to come through. Kevin decided that Basketball was his first love and it had more precedence in his life than following the women that always followed or gravitated around him.
I must admit that during our coming up in the South Bronx, we were surrounded by talented people: Tiny Archibald, played for the Boston Celtic’s, Bob Davis, played for the Portland Trail-blazers and Iran Barkley who became welterweight champion in the late 1980’s and well acclaimed D.J. Hollywood. All come out of the projects or surrounding side streets of the South Bronx.
Most of us graduated from high school and attended some college. One thing I could say school was top priority. It was never misunderstood that education was the source to power and although some of the guys hadn’t finished school, they loved women that were serious about their education so that definitely kept us in the game. They treated us lovely. Whatever we wanted if they could provide it for us, we got it.
The guys around the block were fun to be with and almost all were good looking. Many women were attracted to them. We choose to have a more personal relationship with them. We would introduce other females to them that in some cases they married. We took on the brother and sister type relationship with the guys oppose to being their girlfriend but it differed in some cases during the time we were growing up.
We went out at times and would run into some of the fellas from time to time and if we had any trouble with anyone at all, they would intervene. They made sure that nothing would happen to us. Regardless, to whether we were wrong or right, they